


A Tiny Spark

by magicandarchery



Series: A Tiny Spark [1]
Category: The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Adoption, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Domestic Malec, Established Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood, HEA, M/M, Minor Character Death, Realistic Tension, Smut, a whole fucking lot of feels, baby girl lightwood-bane, fireman!alec, pediatrician!magnus, there's gonna be a whole ton of fucking fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-18
Updated: 2018-04-22
Packaged: 2018-10-06 22:36:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 55,664
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10346037
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magicandarchery/pseuds/magicandarchery
Summary: As a firefighter for the FDNY, Alec Lightwood and his battalion respond to an emergency call for an apartment fire. After rushing a young, soon-to-be mother out of the burning building and to safety, Alec must deliver her newborn baby.He never expected the little girl to spark an inexplicable bond between them. After a prior adoption fell through in a devastating way, should he and Magnus even hope they might be able to adopt her?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [otppurefuckingmagic](https://archiveofourown.org/users/otppurefuckingmagic/gifts).



> This is all @otppurefuckingmagic's fault and she regrets absolutely nothing.
> 
> And since I'm incapable of letting anything that Sam prompts me to write not get out of fucking hand, what was supposed to be just a one shot has turned into a three-part mini-fic. 
> 
> Big, super, amazingly huge thank yous to Sam and to Jackie. 
> 
> Potential trigger warning: mentions of infant death.
> 
> If you're live tweeting, tag me in screen caps or use #ATSfic

_A tiny spark can set a great forest on fire_

James 3:5

**

Alec hopped down from the engine, dressed in most of his yellow turnout gear, looking on as angry orange flames licked up the side of the building from one of the higher floors of the apartment complex, black smoke rising high into the sky.

“Lightwood, you’re on search and rescue unit two with Wayland,” Captain Garroway ordered as the rest of Alec’s battalion prepared for putting out the fire. “You’ll take the middle floors of the building.”

“Yes, sir,” he answered affirmatively as he shrugged his breathing apparatus onto his back and reached for his helmet, securing it beneath his chin before pulling on his gloves.

Jace grinned at him. “Come on, man. I thought you could gear up faster than anyone.”

“Not the time, Jace.” Alec rolled his eyes and started toward the building, Jace close behind him.

Most of the building’s tenants were already outside, some with robes on over pajamas, while some were in various stages of undress—shirts unbuttoned, ties hanging loosely, feet shoved into whatever shoes were closest, some were barefoot—as they prepared to settle down for the night.

Inside, Alec and Jace were quick but thorough as they split up to search every unit on each of their assigned floors, keeping their focus on searching for trapped tenants rather than on any banter or conversation that wasn’t to that end, and finding that all units were empty for the first few levels they searched.

On the seventh floor, Alec entered a small, barely furnished, studio apartment and found a young woman, who couldn’t have been more than twenty-one or twenty-two, curled up on the floor in the center of the unit. The oversized gray t-shirt she wore hung on her thin frame, her dark hair was matted to her forehead, and her pale skin was flushed. Alec noted her labored breathing, the way her face contorted in pain as her dark eyes glistened with unshed tears, her pupils blown wide with fear. Her hand balled into a fist as a cry of agony tore itself from her lips.

As Alec moved closer he saw that she was pregnant, and she had gone into labor. There was no way that she would have ever made it out of the building and to safety on her own, though it looked like she had tried to crawl toward the fire escape.

“I’m Alec,” he introduced himself gently as he dropped to one knee beside her. “I’m here to help you and your baby. Can you put your arms around my neck?”

The young woman nodded and did as he instructed as Alec braced one arm around her back and hooked the other underneath her knees before he stood again and moved quickly out of the unit and toward the fire exit.

He caught sight of Jace in the hallway. “Call for an ambulance.” Alec ordered and Jace nodded as Alec made it to the exit.

“Can you tell me your name?” Alec asked calmly as he felt the young woman’s fingertips tighten around the collar of his coat, gritting her teeth against another wave of pain as Alec quickly descended the stairs.

“S-s-s-ophie.”

“Everything will be okay, Sophie. I’ve got you.” Alec kept his voice even and calm as he moved, almost as though he was gliding down the stairs, doing his best to keep Sophie steady.

“My baby…is coming…” Sophie cried out in both pain and fear, and this time Alec felt her fingers digging into his neck through his gear. Alec held her tighter to him as they reached the third floor landing. He knew he needed to keep Sophie steady, and yet he descended the stairs quicker, adrenaline flowing through his veins, fueling him.

“We’re almost there. We’ll find somewhere safe for you to have your baby. I’m going to take care of you, don’t worry,” Alec said as he reached the landing of the main level and pushed through the door into the cooler night air. He carried Sophie away from the building to a small grassy area with a few trees, dropping slowly down to one knee and setting Sophie carefully on the ground.

Sophie’s scream pierced the night air as Alec made to call for help over his radio, but the sound of footsteps rushing toward him made him look up to see Garroway jogging toward him, the first aid supply box in his hand. Alec heard the sirens of the ambulance in the distance, but as he let his focus shift back to Sophie, he knew that the ambulance wouldn’t arrive before the baby.

“Sophie, this is Luke,” Alec told her as Garroway set the first aid supplies at Alec’s side and moved to kneel behind Sophie, supporting her. Alec quickly shrugged off his coat, so he had something to wrap the baby up in, and swapped his bulky fire gloves for a pair of latex ones. He glanced up quickly and met Garroway’s eyes and received a small nod in return. “Okay, Sophie, deep breath…” Alec paused, as though counting down the seconds to her next contraction. “…And push.”

Sophie grit her teeth together as she pushed, clamping her eyes shut to brace against the pain. Alec looked up briefly as he heard Garroway trying to soothe Sophie through words and encouragement.

As her contraction subsided, Sophie rested back against Luke and Alec met her tired eyes as tears rolled down her cheek, her chest rising and falling quickly with every breath she took.

“The head is out.” Alec looked up at Luke and then focused on Sophie again. “Deep breaths, Sophie, you’re doing great,” he coaxed gently as he inhaled slowly and then exhaled even slower, smiling gently as Sophie did the same, mimicking his breathing pattern as he counted the seconds down in his head once more, waiting for her next contraction. “Good, okay, take another deep breath,” Alec paused as Sophie inhaled deeply, “and push.”

A small crowd of vacated tenants had gathered nearby, and Sophie’s high-pitched scream filled the air as the baby’s shoulders stretched her. Alec was aware of the flashing lights of the ambulance turning into the complex as he caught the baby and tiny cries filled the air.

“You have a baby girl, Sophie.” Alec smiled at her as he cradled the newborn baby girl in one arm as he reached for his coat with the other. He laid the baby girl carefully down on the coat and reached into the supply box for a clamp and scissors, cutting the cord before quickly wrapping the baby up in his coat.

As the paramedics arrived with the gurney, Alec moved aside to let them take over, the baby still cradled in his arms as he held her for Sophie to see. But Alec was quick to notice that something wasn’t quite right. Sophie’s pale skin seemed even paler, almost gray, and her eyes began to flutter closed, and then open, as though she was trying to fight against losing consciousness.

“She’s losing a lot of blood.” Alec heard one of the paramedics say to another and they were quick to move her onto the gurney and rush her to the ambulance.

“Alec will ride along with you so the baby can get care as well.” Alec overheard Garroway say, and Alec nodded as he climbed into the ambulance and sat off to the side, out of the way enough that the paramedics could focus all of their attention on Sophie.

The back doors of the ambulance closed and soon they were racing off toward the hospital. Alec could only look on and watch as the paramedics started an IV and immediately started trying to stop Sophie’s bleeding, but he wasn’t focusing on what they were doing, instead watching as Sophie’s eyes opened again and Alec held her baby girl near her so that Sophie could look at her properly. He was certain he saw the faintest hint of a smile before Sophie’s eyelids started to flutter anew as she once again fought against being pulled under.

“Hold on, Sophie, we’re almost there,” Alec pleaded with her as he watched her eyelids flutter closed. He sat back against the side of the ambulance, shoulders hunched forward in defeat. He looked away from Sophie, then, and down at the baby girl still cradled in his arms. He didn’t know when she had stopped crying but her eyes were closed and her tiny face, with full, rounded cheeks, looked peaceful. Her hand peeked out from under the coat she was wrapped in, and Alec ran the back of his finger over it, amazed at how small and delicate her fingers were in comparison to his.

The sounds of the sirens and the work of the paramedics near him, trying to save Sophie’s life, faded from his focus, as the baby girl in his arms took over his thoughts. Sophie needed to pull through, needed to come out of this okay, because Alec knew what would happen to her little girl if she didn’t; she would be left completely alone and lost in a system that was overburdened and took too long to find good, loving homes for all of the children that needed them.

He tried not to think about the amount of time that he and Magnus had been trying to adopt a child, and forced the crippling pain of the adoption that had fallen apart back into the depths of his memory. Isabelle had been looking into private adoption options for them, but they were no closer to adopting a child now as they had been months ago, and found themselves stuck in this holding pattern of hoping that today, or the next day, or the day after that would be the day that they would add to their family, but instead each day passed by and it was still just the two of them.

Alec felt his belly twist into knots and a sharp, piercing ache fill his chest as he memorized each line of the baby’s face and felt her tiny, delicate fingers curl around his own. He hurt for the uncertainty of how her life, not even hours long at this point, could end up playing out, but he hurt for Magnus and himself and what they still didn’t have, but so desperately wanted.

**

Everything seemed to happen in a blur once they arrived at the hospital. Alec remembered following the paramedics out of the ambulance as they rushed Sophie into the emergency room. The paramedics were quick to relay the information they could about the situation to the doctors and nurses that came to attend her.

“Her name is Sophie,” Alec told them, though his voice sounded distant to his own ears, as though he was trapped in a dream. He held the baby close to him, nestled in his arms as he followed the medical team to an open bay where Sophie was surrounded instantly, everyone rushing against time to save her life. A nurse stopped him from entering the bay and reached for the baby, and Alec felt himself turn away from the nurse slightly, unwilling to let her take this baby girl away from him. It was ridiculous, he knew that, but a fear of not seeing this baby again—rational or not—settled in his chest.

The nurse stepped forward and reached for the baby again, and this time Alec let the nurse take her. It was the right thing to do; the baby needed to be taken care of just as much as Sophie did. But Alec couldn’t help but feel like a part of himself was being ripped away as the nurse turned from him.

“Where are you taking her? Is she going to be okay?” Alec fired off the questions quickly, following after the nurse. Was this what it felt like to be a parent, worried for the well being of their child, but trusting no one else to care for that child?

The nurse turned to him and offered him a small, curt smile. “She’s being taken for a standard evaluation. I’m sure she’ll be fine,” she said before turning again and leaving him standing alone in the middle of the hallway. He stood there, frozen in place, for a moment longer before looking around. He noticed a small waiting area not far from where he was standing and went to sit down. He leaned his head back against the wall as he stretched his legs out in front of him and closed his eyes for a moment, but he felt restless and uneasy. He pulled his legs back in and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his legs as he locked his fingers together.

He could still feel the weight of the baby in his arms, her fingers curled around his, and how she had been so peaceful, so content. His heart was beating steadily, but it was different, completely indescribable, as though his heart was growing, expanding, making room for one more. It was absurd, Alec knew, for him to get attached, to fall in love with this baby. He had delivered a handful of newborns before.

What made this baby so different?

Alec brought his hand up to rub his chest, directly over his heart, as though that would make the dull ache go away, and looked up. He hadn’t caught the doctor’s name that was caring for Sophie, but he recalled the dark skin, the dark curly hair, the muscular build. He was standing in the hallway now, with his hands on his hips, and staring down at the floor. In the back of his mind, Alec knew what that meant, but it wasn’t possible. It couldn’t be.

He stood and walked out of the waiting room, grateful for long strides that helped him to cross a large distance in a fairly short amount of time.

“Excuse me,” he said, as he reached the doctor, catching him carefully on the arm. Alec looked down at the doctor’s credentials when he turned to face him. “Dr. Aldertree? You were attending the young woman brought in from the apartment fire, right? The one with the new baby?”

Aldertree’s shoulders dropped and he exhaled deeply. “Yes, I was.”

“Is…is she…okay?” Alec stumbled over the words. He needed to know, but wasn’t sure he wanted to hear the answer he knew was coming.

Aldertree was silent for a moment before he looked up at Alec again. “She lost too much blood and couldn’t recover from the shock. I’m sorry.”

Alec nodded slowly, all of the wind letting out of his sails, but he masked it with a nod as he brought his hands to rest on his hips. “And the baby?”

“Fine. She’s perfectly healthy. Normally she’d have been taken to the nursery on maternity, but she’s been taken to pediatrics instead.”

Alec heard what Aldertree wasn’t saying: _since she doesn’t have a mother_. He nodded again as he ran his fingers over his lips. “Thank you.”

**

The elevator doors opened and Alec stepped out onto the pediatrics floor.

Alec knew it was against protocol, knew that he probably shouldn’t be here. He knew he should have returned to the station as soon as the baby had been taken from him in the emergency room. He had an incident report to write and paperwork to review and file before he could go home for the night, but he couldn’t bring himself to leave, not without at least some assurance that the baby was okay.

He stopped at the nurse’s station and drummed his fingers on the countertop nervously to try and gain someone’s attention.

“Can I help you?” a nurse asked, moving over to him from where she sat on the opposite side of the desk. She had a kind face, long dark hair that was pulled back into a ponytail, and wore dark rimmed glasses. Her hospital credential read Lindsay.

“Yeah, I’m looking for the baby that was brought up from the ER. I just wanted to check in on her before heading out.” Alec drummed his fingers on the countertop a final time as Lindsay came around the counter and led him down the hallway to a standard sized room, with a standard plastic basinet against one wall.

Alec peered inside the basinet. The baby was sleeping peacefully, swaddled in a white blanket with pink and blue baby footprints and wearing a small pink and blue knit cap. “Could…could I…hold her?”

Lindsay smiled as she carefully scooped the little girl out of the basinet and placed her in Alec’s waiting arms. “It’s good for her to be held.”

“Is that so?” Alec asked as he looked down at the baby. She was small enough that he could cradle her with one arm, and the weight of her was welcome and new, but familiar all at once from the short ride between the apartment complex and the hospital.

Lindsay nodded. “Studies have shown that children who have those physical and emotional connections with a parent or caregiver face fewer emotional, behavioral, or social problems later in life. Those attachments also help them learn to trust and develop their own bonds…”

Alec nodded slowly as he listened, but Lindsay cut her explanation short as something buzzed in the pocket of her purple scrubs. She pulled out what looked to Alec like a cell phone, before smiling at him. “I have to check on another kiddo, but stay with her as long as you like.”

Lindsay brushed past him and out of the room, leaving him and the baby alone. He looked down at her again, and smiled softly as she tried to stretch in her blankets, but she didn’t fuss, didn’t cry, didn’t make a sound.

“Hi,” he whispered, smiling gently once more as she tried to flutter one eye open at the sound of his voice before closing it again. Alec breathed out a soft chuckle. “Yeah, I know. It's been a long night for both of us.”

Alec crossed the room and sat in the chair that was set up near the window. It wasn’t all that comfortable, but it wasn’t wholly uncomfortable either. It was easy to settle in against the back of the chair, his entire body seeming to melt into the padding, and he straightened his long legs out in front of him, crossing his ankles together. He took a deep breath and rolled his neck, closing his eyes for a moment as a wave of exhaustion hit him, the adrenaline running through his veins starting to subside.

“I’m Alec,” he said, looking down at the baby as he slowly opening his eyes again. His voice was still low and gentle, but exhausted now, too, when he spoke. “I wish I knew what your mom had wanted to name you.”

It would have been the one thing he could have done as a means to fulfill a last wish for Sophie. A last wish, Alec realized, that she probably hadn’t had because she never thought having a child would take her life. He gently stroked his finger over the baby’s cheek, smiling at the softness of her skin. Sophie would never get to hold her. She would never get to hear her baby girl laugh for the first time. Or help her take her first steps. She would miss her baby’s first words and being called mommy, her first day of school, and would never get to sit and listen as her daughter learned how to read. She wouldn’t be there to watch her daughter fall in love, or help heal a broken heart. Alec swallowed hard against the deep, growing ache in his chest and blinked back tears that were slowly building up in his eyes, threatening to spill out onto his cheeks.

The sudden sound of high heels clicking on the tile floor inside the room pulled Alec out of his thoughts, and he turned his head up as the footsteps came to an abrupt stop. The young woman that stood in front of him was slim and dressed impeccably in a brown suit, her blond hair braided in front and pulled half up.

“My apologies. I may have the wrong room,” she said and checked the phone in her hand before she doubled back to check the number on the plaque outside the door. Her head was tilted slightly and her brow knit together as she stepped back into the room. “It seems I’m in the right place. I wasn’t aware that the baby would have a visitor.”

Alec looked down at himself self consciously as this woman studied him, her eyes sharp, unwavering and hard as steel, and he realized how he must have looked with his unruly dark hair, mussed from wearing his fire hood, still partially in his fire gear, and smelling of smoke and sweat. He looked at her apologetically. “I’m sorry, I know I should probably go. I just wanted to check on her before I left.”

The woman’s face softened almost instantly. “I’m Lydia Branwell. I’m a caseworker for the Administration for Children’s Services.”

“Alec Lightwood. I’m with the FDNY.”

He looked away as Lydia reached into her purse, his fingers gently tapping against the baby’s back as he gazed at her. He would never be able to explain how enamored he was with her, how fully and how quickly she had captured his heart. He didn’t know many other people who had children, but he understood now what they all had tried to put into words but never could. It was a different type of love that consumed him, a protective, unyielding type of love. A love that had no beginning and no end. It was just there, suddenly, blooming from the center of his very being.

“What’s going to happen to her now?” Alec asked, looking up again.

Lydia held a file open in her hands and she looked up when he spoke. “We’ll try to locate next of kin. If we can’t find them, then once she is discharged, she’ll be placed with what we call an ‘emergency family’ who are able to take in children on an immediate basis until a permanent placement can be lined up.”

“So, she’ll go into the foster care system?” Alec’s stomach tightened at the thought.

Lydia nodded. “Yes. Unless she’s adopted, she’ll be a foster child until she’s eighteen.”

Lydia finished making a note in the file and closed it, sliding it back into her purse. Alec swallowed hard and pressed his lips together. Even though she did this for a living, Alec was astounded at the efficiency with which she answered. She was all facts. All business. No emotion. A small part of him tried to remind himself that she had to separate out her emotions. They were nothing but a distraction in her line of work.

Alec had believed that about his profession, once, too.

“Here’s my card,” Lydia’s voice cut through the noise of his thoughts again and he looked up as she took a few steps toward him with her hand extended. He reached up and took the card she offered him and examined it for a moment. It was plain, white card stock, simple and efficient, just like the woman who carried them. “If I can answer any questions for you, let me know.”

Alec nodded as he looked at the phone numbers under her name and title, one for her office and one for her cell phone. Without another word, Lydia nodded at him curtly and turned to leave.

**

“Hello?”

Isabelle’s voice in his ear was heavy with sleep, but it was the most welcome sound that Alec had heard all night. “Hey, Iz.”

“Alec? What is it? Are you okay? Is Magnus okay?” Isabelle asked, her voice suddenly more alert. Alec could picture her sitting straight up in bed and scooting back to sit against the headboard. He was also certain with the urgent tone of Isabelle’s voice that Simon was probably awake now, too.

“Yeah, we’re both fine.” Alec nodded as he walked along and heard Isabelle’s exhale over the phone. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“Is Jace okay?”

“Yeah, Jace is fine. I just wondered what the process is for becoming a foster parent with the intent to adopt?” Alec asked has he turned a corner, having decided to walk home. The hospital wasn’t that far from his and Magnus’ apartment, and he knew he could use the fresh air to calm himself and the time to work through every thought tumbling over and over in his mind.

Isabelle was silent on the other end of the line before sighing heavily. “Alec, it’s one o’clock in the morning. I have to be in court at nine and I’m meeting with my client to review their petition at eight.”

“I know it’s late…or maybe it’s early…I don’t know…I just…” Alec choked out the words, unable to find his voice to finish. He stopped and closed his eyes, breathing deeply over and over, letting the night air fill his lungs, but nothing he did could quell the ache in his chest that had settled there as soon as he had finally been able to lay the baby back in her bassinet and leave the hospital.

“What happened, Alec?”

Alec could hear the rustling of sheets in his ear and knew that Isabelle had gotten out of bed so that Simon could go back to sleep. Everything that had happened since his battalion had gotten the call came pouring out of him. He sighed heavily when he finished, fighting against the exhaustion that had started to settle over him at the hospital. “I just want to know what the process involves and how quickly it can happen.”

Isabelle was quiet for a moment, but her voice was gentle when she spoke. “Text me the caseworker’s contact information and come by my office tomorrow. I have a few hours open and we’ll talk then. Nothing can be done tonight, so go home and get some sleep. Maybe talk to Magnus before you make any big decisions.”

There was a hint of a scolding grin in Isabelle’s tone as she finished that made Alec press his lips together and smile sheepishly. “I’m sorry I woke you.”

“Well you can bring me coffee when you come see me tomorrow to make up for it.”

“Fair enough,” Alec breathed out with a soft laugh. “Goodnight, Izzy.”

“Buenas noches, big brother.”

Alec pocketed his cell phone after disconnecting from Isabelle, thankful that he was now only a couple of blocks from home. He knew the city like the back of his hand, every turn, every intersection, every alleyway. It made it easy for Alec to set himself on autopilot as he walked, passing a twenty-four hour bodega before taking another turn and seeing his building at the end of the block. It was so close, yet so far, and Alec’s legs felt heavy, as though he was wading through mud, as he trudged along toward it.

The lobby was deserted, except for the security officer that sat behind the desk. Alec gave her a tired wave as he crossed through to the elevator bay. He stood with his hands behind his back as he waited, and the ride up to the top floor seemed to take twice as long as normal once he was on it. Alec took Lydia’s business card out of his pocket, took a photo of it, and texted it over to Isabelle so she would be able to contact Lydia before he saw her tomorrow.

He shuffled down the long corridor to his and Magnus’ apartment, digging in his pockets for his keys as he did. Tonight, he was glad that he carried so few keys on his keyring. His tired fingers didn’t have to fumble through trying to find the right key to unlock the heavy black door.

The apartment was dark except for the light filtering in through the doors that led out to the balcony. Alec kicked off his boots quietly, somehow managing to keep his fatigued body upright as he did. He padded down the hallway and into the bedroom. Alec made out Magnus’ sleeping form under the blankets and wanted nothing more than to just crawl into bed with him, close his eyes, and lose himself to the depths of blissful sleep, but before he could do that he needed to shower, which he would have done at the station had he gone back instead of staying at the hospital.

Alec closed the door and turned on the shower, undressing as the water heated up and steam slowly started to fill the air. He closed his eyes when he stepped under the spray, and the heat of the water instantly started working to untie the knots that his neck and shoulders had tied themselves into, his entire body easing as the tension melted away. He reached for his soap, lathering it over his body, washing away the sweat and smoke, and they took the soft, powdery scent of newborn baby with them. Alec reached for his shampoo before he could let himself get swept up in thoughts about the baby.

He shut off the water more aggressively than he had meant to and swiped a towel from the towel bar, drying himself before securing it around his waist. Alec plucked his wedding ring off of the counter, where he had left it earlier that afternoon before leaving for the station, and slid it on. He flipped the light off before opening the door so the brightness wouldn’t wake Magnus, and dug around blindly in his drawer for a pair of pajama bottoms to wear.

When he finally climbed into bed, Alec leaned over and pressed a gentle kiss just below Magnus’ ear. He laid down and turned onto his side, the mattress and his pillow forming to his shape. Just as he was closing his eyes, Alec felt the bed shift behind him and the press of warm, bare skin against his back as Magnus curled his arm around him, lips pressing slow, easy kisses to the back of Alec’s neck.

“I didn’t mean to wake you,” Alec’s voice was raspy and weary as he turned his head slightly to try and look at Magnus over his shoulder.

“I was dozing more than actually sleeping,” Magnus rested his chin on Alec’s shoulder, absently curling his fingers through the hair on Alec’s chest. “I find it difficult to sleep well when my husband is out running into burning buildings.”

The hint of a smile in Magnus’ voice tugged at Alec’s own lips as he reached up to cover Magnus’ hand with his own, folding his fingers in between Magnus’. “I don’t just run into burning buildings. I deliver babies, sometimes, too.”

“Boy or girl?” Magnus asked.

“A little…” Alec’s voice broke and he coughed to try and cover it up, his fingers tightening their hold on Magnus’ hand. “A little girl.”

Alec clamped his eyes shut and attempted to slowly exhale, but in the end it just came out in one shuddering breath. Magnus’ hand pressed flat against his chest and Alec swallowed hard against the knot in his throat.

Magnus pushed himself up onto his elbow. “Did something happen, Alec?”

Alec didn’t know where to start to answer that, and even if he had known where to begin he didn’t know if he could tell the story all over again. Not tonight. Not while every single memory of the night played vividly on a loop in his mind. Telling Isabelle had been one thing—she could detach herself from the emotional facet of the situation and focus clearly on the facts at hand, because she and Simon could have their own children whenever they decided that the time was right. But telling Magnus, when they had been waiting to start their family, with no end to that wait in sight…Alec couldn’t bear the thought of shattering Magnus’ heart.

He brought Magnus’ hand up and pressed a light kiss against his palm before turning to face him. Alec pressed his lips together in a tight smile and shook his head. “She’s perfectly healthy.”

He knew that Magnus could see right through him, could see that there was more that he wasn’t saying, but Magnus didn’t press any further. Alec would open up to him, would tell him everything, in his own time.

Alec shifted in closer to Magnus as Magnus settled back against his pillow, nuzzling his cheek against Magnus’ chest. Magnus’ heart beat steadily in Alec’s ear, his breathing slowly syncing up to Magnus’ with every slow breath Magnus took. There was no sense of peace that washed over him as Magnus’ arms circled him, but it calmed him enough to quiet the noise of his thoughts, to make the world around him still and silent.

Alec closed his eyes, exhaling a slow breath, as sleep pulled him under.

**

Sunlight was just barely filtering into the room when Alec awoke, still curled up in Magnus’ arms. Despite the early hour and getting only a few hours of sleep, the recollection of the previous evening seeped into every one of Alec’s thoughts until it consumed him again. He had turned over in bed with the intent of going back to sleep, had buried his head under his pillow in the hopes that it would quiet the noise only he could hear, but he hadn’t been able to turn his mind off enough to sink back under. He had gotten out of bed, doing his best to not wake Magnus, dressed, and stopped for coffee and a bagel on his way to the station. Despite not being on duty today, he still had his incident report from the previous night to file with Garroway.

Every detail of the previous night was included in his report. It was clinical and detached, void of all emotion. The FDNY wouldn’t care how gutted Alec was that he hadn’t been able to save Sophie’s life. He had gotten her out of the building, and that was enough in their eyes; everything that had happened from there was out of their control, was out of _his_ control. They wouldn’t care about a little girl who wasn’t even aware that she was an orphan.

But Alec did, because he had been the cause of it. He had failed both Sophie and her baby. He sat at the desk with the report in front of him and pressed his fists against his eyes as he clamped them shut, forcing himself to breathe against the tightness in his chest and the sinking feeling in his gut.

He had to be better. He couldn’t fail again. And he wouldn’t.

Alec stood and marched down to Garroway’s office and left the report in a file on his desk. As he left, he stopped in the hallway and brought his hand up, rubbing his palm with his thumb. He had the choice to leave and carry on with his day, or spend the morning training to make himself better, so that he wouldn’t fail again. Alec pursed his lips as he dropped his hands to his sides and turned, moving down the hall toward the locker room with purpose and determination in his steps. He changed out of his jeans and his t-shirt into shorts and a black FDNY t-shirt and marched toward the training area.

Sweat dripped from the ends of Alec’s dark hair onto his nose and into his eyes. The salt of the droplets stung, and Alec clamped his eyes shut until the burning subsided, yet never stopped putting himself through a rigorous circuit of workouts over and over again. Lunges, weighted squats, pushes, presses, rows, and pulls with resistance bands and free weights alike. He ran sprints from one side of the training room to the other, keeping his intensity high and his intervals short, ignoring the fuzziness that came from being lightheaded, and swallowing down the temptation to upset his lurching stomach over the training room floor.

_Results are achieved on the other side of fatigue._

The mantra was one that Alec had heard repeated throughout the course of his training for the department. Lives depended on him, on his battalion, and their ability to be quick and sure-footed as they got people to safety.

He swore as he stumbled over his feet at the end of a run and crashed down onto his knees on the training floor, his body heaving all over for air, begging for rest.

He had failed. Again.

“What the hell, Alec?”

Alec looked up, blinking back the droplets of sweat that caught in his eyelashes, and saw Jace standing just inside the training room door dressed in the same black shorts and a black t-shirt with FDNY printed across the chest that Alec also wore. He again swallowed down the desire to be sick to his stomach as he sat back on his heels, and rested his hands on his thighs as his shoulders hunched forward.

“Don’t.” Alec managed to get out between breaths. He ran his hands through his sweat-soaked hair and over his face, too spent to move much more than that.

“Don’t what? Call you out for nearly killing yourself?” Jace asked, his voice raised and his blue and brown eyes flashing as he began moving toward Alec.

Alec shifted until he was sitting on the floor, pulling his dead and shaking legs in toward his body. He forgot how well Jace knew him, how Jace could see right through him. There were two people in Alec’s life that he was completely transparent to: Jace and Magnus. Not that Isabelle couldn’t tell when something wasn’t right with Alec, but he could still put up walls with her, could still keep thoughts and emotions hidden from her if he wanted or needed to. He looked up as Jace stood in front of him, watching him, his sharp eyes silently assessing, and Alec looked away again when Jace sat in front of him.

“What happened at the hospital?” Jace asked gently.

Alec shook his head. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Jace nodded. In choosing not to answer him, Alec had still told him everything. “But something happened.”

“If you want to know that badly, go ask Garroway for my report. It’s all there,” Alec barked, snapping his head up to look at Jace with hard eyes and a set jaw.

“You know I will. I also know that whatever happened wasn’t your fault, and no one would put blame on you.” Jace spoke calmly, and Alec looked away again, unable to look at the understanding in Jace’s eyes. He knew that Jace was right, no one was going to place blame on his shoulders or reprimand him for what had happened. He had done his job, and had done it efficiently. But Alec didn’t understand how they couldn’t see just how at fault he was.

“They should.” Alec summoned up what little energy had returned to him as he had sat on the training room floor and rose to his feet, stalking out of the training room.

**

“Hi, Alec,” Clary greeted him as she set a patient chart on the checkout desk. She brushed a stray bit of her curly red hair off of her face and behind her ear as Alec let himself through the door to where the patient rooms were.

“Hey, Clary,” Alec replied, still bone weary from his time at the firehouse. “Is Magnus in his office?”

Clary shook her head. “No, he’s still with a kiddo. But I’ll let him know you’re here when he’s done.”

“Thanks.” Alec nodded and navigated through the halls to Magnus’ office, and closed the door behind him once inside. Alec had only been back to the office a couple of times before, and never without Magnus. It wasn’t exceedingly large, but it was spacious and Magnus had made it comfortable with a small couch and a chair over in one corner, and a large bookcase behind his desk that held a mix of various medical texts and journals, as well as copies of essays and books on pediatrics that Magnus had published.

The walls were lined with Magnus’ degrees and certifications, but instead of contemporary artwork to balance it out, there were colorful drawings and pictures that Magnus’ patients had worked on while they waited. The desk was a dark wood with files stacked on one side and medical journals stacked next to them, but what caught Alec’s attention were the framed pictures in one corner.

Alec was alone in one of the photos, laughing and smiling brightly, his eyes crinkled in the corners. It had been the night of Simon and Isabelle’s rehearsal dinner, and Alec couldn’t remember what had been said to cause him to laugh like that, but he was certain it had been because Max had been the one to say it.

In the other they were together on the beach the previous summer, on a long weekend they had all taken together. Alec was sitting in a beach chair with Magnus sitting in the sand between his legs. Alec had leaned forward when Isabelle had caught his attention, and hugged Magnus from behind as they smiled, his cheek resting easily against Magnus’ temple. Alec had the same photo in his locker at the firehouse, and the memory of it tugged the corner of Alec’s mouth up into the first tiny smile he’d had all day as he ran his finger over the frame.

Alec looked up when the office door opened. Magnus stepped in, looking over a chart, the sleeves of his dark gray button down shirt rolled up to his elbows. Magnus’ brow was knit together as he read over the notes, blindly closing the door behind him, and Alec felt the ground beneath him shift as though his world was righting itself, and the weight of everything he was holding onto lifted off of his shoulders. He sucked in a deep breath, his chest no longer feeling constricted.

Magnus looked up from the folder, eyebrows raising as his mouth curved into a surprised but happy smile.

“Alexander.” Magnus closed the folder and moved through the office toward Alec, each movement so graceful and so effortless that it took Alec’s breath away. “This is a pleasant surprise.”

“In a good way, I hope?” Alec asked as his heartbeat kicked up in his chest. Clary must not have run into Magnus after he finished with his patient, and Alec hadn’t considered that maybe Magnus had meetings with pharmaceutical reps or medical equipment vendors over lunch, or didn’t have time for a full lunch because of his patient schedule. He should have called to check before just showing up, but there hadn’t been anywhere else Alec had thought to go after leaving the firehouse. Everything up was down, and what was down was up, and Magnus was the only person that Alec knew who could make the world right again.

“Always.” Magnus set the folder down on top of the others and ran his hands along Alec’s arms, and Alec felt chill bumps rise under Magnus’ touch.

Alec exhaled the breath he had been holding and curled his hands gently around Magnus’ elbows, drawing him in close before dropping a light kiss against Magnus’ forehead.

Alec lowered his eyes as he pulled back, taking Magnus in. His eyeliner was a soft brown today, complimenting his eyes, and subtle enough that only the most observant parent would really notice it. “Do you think I could steal you for lunch?”

“I think it’s very possible.” Magnus nodded. He pulled out his phone and Alec saw him pull up his schedule on the phone’s calendar. “I don’t have a patient until one thirty. What sounds good?”

Alec followed Magnus toward the office door. “I could do with a bacon burger, actually.”

**

Magnus sat against the back of the booth as their server walked away from the table to fill their drink order, the chatter from surrounding tables filtering into the silence between he and Alec. Alec slowly stretched his neck to one side and then the other as he skimmed quickly over his menu and turned his head toward the window. His eyes were dark and were without their usual soft openness that Magnus was used to.

He leaned forward and folded his hands on the table top after the server returned and set their drinks in front of them. Alec slowly stirred his straw in his glass of iced tea.

“You were up early this morning.” Magnus squeezed his lemon into his water and stirred it around.

Alec nodded. “I woke up and started thinking, and just couldn’t get back to sleep. I hope I didn’t wake you up.”

“I heard you getting ready, but that was it.” Magnus sipped his water. “What were you thinking about?”

“The little girl I delivered last night.” Alec pressed his lips together and looked Magnus firmly in the eye. “I want to adopt her.”

Magnus’ brows rose in surprise and his jaw dropped slightly, as though he wanted to say something but couldn’t find exactly what to say. He let Alec’s words settle and took a deep breath. Alec’s eyes were firm and unwavering, his hands curled around his glass.

“What do the girl’s parents have to say about that?”

Alec shook his head as he looked down into his drink. “H-her mother didn’t make it. And I don’t know if ACS has located her father or any other relatives.”

Their server returned to get their lunch order and Magnus sat back in the booth once more. Alec had looked away from him again and was fidgeting with his straw wrapper, rolling it around his finger and then straightening it out again. Magnus thumbed at his bottom lip and leaned forward. “Why this baby? With so many other kids out there, why her?”

“Her mother died because I failed.”

“Alec…”

“Magnus, I couldn’t…if I had gotten to her and gotten her out of that building a few minutes, or even a few seconds, earlier she could have gotten care sooner and maybe she wouldn’t have…” Alec couldn’t bring himself to say the words, to say that Sophie wouldn’t have died if he had reached her sooner. “And that little girl would still have a mother. But she doesn’t because I wasn’t …” Alec’s voice broke. “She’s an orphan because of me, Magnus.”

Magnus didn’t try to interrupt Alec as he spoke. He recognized the guilt that Alec wore like shackles around his heart because it was a guilt that Magnus had borne the burden of himself. Alec’s shoulders were rounded and hunched forward to make himself smaller, as though a man of his size could just suddenly make himself invisible to the world. Alec rolled his neck slowly and reached up to rub the tension out of it, and Magnus wondered what paces Alec had put himself through at the station’s training facility earlier in the morning, as punishment, because he felt he wasn't good enough. Because he felt that he had failed.

“Alec, this isn’t your fault. Even with the best medical care, sometimes women still do not survive childbirth.” Magnus inhaled deeply, slowly filling his lungs with air, as he leaned forward and reached across the table, taking both of Alec’s hands into his.

How many lives had been saved by those same hands, Magnus wondered. How many people had been carried to safety in Alec’s strong arms, or felt those same arms offer a haven of comfort and protection during the worst moment of their life? Magnus knew that Alec would never truly know the number of lives he touched. Unlike Magnus’ patients, the people Alec saved or tried to provide some comfort to would never come back to see him. Alec would never have a bulletin board at the station that showed the children he had kept safe throughout the different stages of their lives the way that Magnus had in his office. The numbers of people whose lives Alec would touch, that he would save, would only continue to grow, of that Magnus was certain.

“I still remember the first time I lost a baby.” Magnus’ voice was soft as he started his story, gently stroking his thumbs over the backs of Alec’s hands, Alec’s palms rough and calloused against his own. “I was doing my NICU rotation during my residency. This little girl—her name was Sarah—was delivered eight weeks prematurely in order to save her mother’s life. Other than being preemie, she was perfectly healthy. She didn’t need to be on a respirator, and that is almost unheard of for babies born that early. All she needed was a feeding tube because she couldn’t suck or swallow on her own yet, so she couldn’t nurse or take a bottle.”

Magnus paused and inhaled another breath as the full memory swam up to the surface. “When the nurse inserted the feeding tube she nicked an artery, and Sarah started bleeding internally. This didn’t happen on my shift, but by the time I came on and realized what was happening, Sarah had already been in distress and slowly dying for hours. I did everything I could to save her life, and I still couldn’t. I was devastated and kept replaying everything over and over again, wondering if I had done something differently, if Sarah would have lived, and doubting myself and my ability to be a doctor. I didn’t know how I could face Sarah’s parents and tell them that their baby girl had died because of me.”

Magnus tightened his hold on Alec’s hands just enough to feel Alec squeeze his back, both of them trying to comfort the other. No matter how many years passed, Magnus would never fully forgive himself for not being able to save Sarah, just as he knew Alec would never fully forgive himself for not being able to save this young woman’s life for her own little girl.

“If it hadn’t been for Catarina, I would have given up on everything I had worked so hard for. And I will tell you exactly what Cat told me that night: the reality is that we cannot save every life that is put into our hands, no matter how much we want to, but we will save more than we lose. If it hadn’t been for you getting her mother to safety, Alexander, that baby girl wouldn’t be alive either. You saved _her_ life.”

Magnus brushed his thumbs over the backs of Alec’s hands and looked down at them again, tracing the edge of Alec’s wedding ring slowly. He knew that it wouldn’t be enough for Alec to hear that he had saved the baby’s life by getting her mother out of the building. Alec had always been the type to make amends, to push himself to be better, to fix what he believed he had broken. He would carry the weight of the world on his shoulders if that’s what it took to make something right.

Magnus also couldn’t ignore the tightening in his chest at the thought of starting to add to their family, of opening their hearts and their home to a child who needed them. And the circumstances in which they had the opportunity to grow their family—Magnus couldn’t dismiss that either. Did it matter how that child came into their lives as long as they did?

Magnus sighed softly. “Call Izzy and see what we need to do.”

Alec looked up at Magnus and pressed his lips together, as he shrugged. “I called her on my way home last night.”

Magnus huffed out a soft laugh. Of course Alec had called Isabelle last night. At least he had the decency to look sheepish about having already called her.

“I just wanted to find out what we needed to do, if anything, to start the process. I’m supposed to meet with her this afternoon.” Alec rushed to explain and Magnus could only shake his head and laugh gently. Alec always had a way of diving into everything head first.

“Better take her coffee and chocolate to make up for waking her at an obscene hour of the night, and I’m sure making her think that something was terribly wrong.” Magnus leveled a scolding glance at Alec, though the grin that spread on his face took all of the heat out of it.

Alec just shook his head and rolled his eyes, leaning against the back of the booth as their lunch was set in front of them. “Izzy only told me to bring coffee.”

Magnus unrolled his silverware from his napkin. “Get her both. You’ll thank me later.”

Alec popped a fry into his mouth, but nodded and offered Magnus a hint of a smile.

They chatted easily as they ate, the heavy mood of when they had arrived at the restaurant lifted. While Alec started listing off everything they’d need to get for the baby, Magnus just listened. It was a way for him to keep his expectations from getting too high and overwhelming, because he couldn’t think of what this would do to both of them if it didn’t work out—again—but it was the first time in months that Magnus could remember seeing Alec discuss the topic of their family with excitement in his voice and light in his eyes.

When they were finished and had settled their check, they stepped back out into the hot July afternoon and Magnus slid his sunglasses on as they walked back to his office.

Stopping in front of the building’s entrance, Magnus took his sunglasses off and slid them into his pocket as he turned to face Alec. “So get coffee and chocolate and find out what you can from Izzy. We’ll work through whatever applications and paperwork we have to tomorrow. Tonight we can just take it easy. I’ll pick up dinner on my way home and we’ll have a night in with some sushi and a little Netflix. Just the two of us?”

Alec took Magnus’ hands into his and pulled him in close. “I’d love that.”

**

“Alec is here to see you,” Gretel spoke into her headset as Alec wandered over to sit in a modern white leather armchair in the reception lobby of Isabelle’s office. He leaned forward and set one of the cups of coffee in his hand on the table as he read through the different titles of the magazines that were piled there, as water softly cascaded over the fountain that hung on the wall behind him. He suspected the fountain was there to create a sense of peace, to wash away worry and fear and bring calmness to the reality that too many hopeful parents faced.

Alec looked up at the muffled sound of high heels on carpet and saw Isabelle coming toward him, dressed in a royal blue sleeveless wrap dress. He stood and smiled at her. Even in her wedges, Isabelle was still more than a head shorter than he was.

Under any other circumstances, Alec might have teased her about needing the coffee he held in his hand. Isabelle never looked tired except when she first woke up in the morning, and only the slight dullness of her dark brown eyes hinted at the fact that she hadn’t gotten her full night of sleep the night before.

“Someone told me you could probably use these.” Alec held out the larger of the two cups of coffee and a white pastry bag for her to take.

“For once gossip pays off.” Isabelle smiled and took the coffee and the pastry bag, and turned. Alec followed her through the corridors until they reached her corner office and Isabelle closed the door behind them.

The late afternoon sun was filtering in through the large floor to ceiling windows, and Alec was surprised that the office was still relatively cool and comfortable in spite of it.

“I spoke to Lydia Branwell after I got out of court this morning.” Isabelle cut straight to the point and sat on one side of the couch that sat along the wall opposite her desk.

Alec followed Isabelle’s lead and sat in the armchair beside the couch. He looked at her as he took the lid off of his cup of coffee. “And?”

Isabelle leaned forward and picked up the file she had open on the coffee table set up in front of the couch. “As of this morning, ACS hadn’t been able to locate any next of kin. ACS is giving it until the baby is discharged tomorrow afternoon for a blood relative to come forward for a kinship placement, and if no one does baby girl will become a ward of the state and placed with a family to care for her.”

Alec nodded and looked down into his coffee as he swirled it in its cup. “So what do Magnus and I need to do?”

“There’s an application process you’ll have to go through with the Office of Family and Child Services, background checks on both criminal history and any history of child abuse and neglect, they’ll look into your financial and professional stability. You’ll both have to go through orientation within sixty days of your application being received, and that includes a home study where you’ll be evaluated on the safety of the environment you’ll be raising her in, and your ability to adapt to change and be flexible, among other things.”

Isabelle effortlessly ticked off the requirements one by one, and Alec knew that the list she gave was nowhere near exhaustive.

“So basically everything we’ve been through already.” Alec heaved out a deep sigh and ran his fingers through his hair. He closed his eyes for a moment and pulled at the memory of the baby sleeping in his arms the night before. She had been so calm and so peaceful and that calmness had settled over Alec like a blanket as he held her. Her subtle eye flutter had come from recognizing his voice when he spoke to her. Her tiny hand curled around one of his fingers. The overwhelming love that had consumed him the night before began to swell again at his center, and he opened his eyes when he felt Isabelle’s hand on his arm.

“I know, Alec.”

“No, Izzy, you don’t.” Alec snapped and closed his eyes before standing. He walked over to the window behind her desk and sipped at his coffee, hoping that Isabelle couldn’t hear his heart pounding in his chest the way he could hear it pounding in his own ears. He knew she didn’t mean to sound patronizing. He and Magnus had hers and Simon’s full support through this process, just as they had Jace’s and Clary’s, Max’s, and Ragnor’s and Catarina’s.

Alec sniffed and cleared his throat. “Do you remember last Halloween?”

“You and Magnus left a houseful of guests at your own party to go to the hospital,” Isabelle answered.

Alec nodded as he looked out on the city below them. “The mother of the teenage girl we were going to adopt from called to tell us that she was delivering the baby. By the time we left and got across town, she’d given birth to a little boy. She’d also decided, as we found out from her father when we got there, to keep him. I have never seen Magnus as broken as he was that night.”

“But, you were both fine when you got back, and said it was just a false alarm. And the following week all I got was an email from their attorney that the mother had decided not to go through with it. I never knew that’s what happened that night, and how you found out.”

Alec turned and looked at her, the way her eyebrows knit together as she leaned against the arm of the couch, legs crossed, with the file open across her knee. “Because we both put up walls, Iz. There wasn’t anything we could do to change what happened, to keep the rug from being pulled out from under us. But we weren’t fine.” Alec finished off his coffee and dropped the empty cup into the trash bin beside Isabelle’s desk, sliding his hands into his pockets. “Magnus doesn’t let himself get excited about it anymore because he doesn’t want to get his hopes up, just to have them come crashing down again.”

“Alec…”

Alec held up his hand to quiet her. “I probably shouldn’t let myself get excited about this, or get my hopes up, either. But the moment I stop is the moment that both of us have given up. And I _will not_ let Magnus and I give up on this, on our family, on giving that little girl the life that she deserves to have. That isn’t something that you and Simon, or Jace and Clary, hell, maybe even Max, will ever understand. You will never know what it feels like to be on this side of it, to have what you want so desperately be within your grasp and then taken away from you mercilessly.”

Alec looked down at his shoes as he rocked back on his heels. He didn’t see Isabelle dab at the corners of her eyes as tears threatened to fall. He didn’t see her set the folder on the coffee table and stand, crossing over to him. But he felt her arms slide around him, pulling him into a hug, and he held tightly to her in return, hoping to absorb some of her quiet strength because he wasn’t sure how much more fight he really had left in him. He clamped his eyes shut and pressed his lips together in an attempt at keeping his own tears from falling, and the paralyzing fear that this would all be for naught once more contained within him.

“Maybe we’ve been going about this the wrong way. Private adoptions can get messy,” Isabelle murmured against his shoulder before she pulled back to look up at him, and Alec opened his eyes to look into hers. “Agency adoptions can be more intense and more regulated, but sometimes they’re easier. But no matter what, it _will_ happen, Alec.”

Alec nodded as he continued to hold onto her, wanting nothing more than to believe what his sister was saying, to believe that even though it would take longer, that this would be an easier process than before. He wanted to believe that they wouldn’t have to wait in a never ending queue for their application to be reviewed, and that tomorrow, or the next day, or the day after that, he and Magnus would be one step closer to bringing a daughter into their lives, to love her like their own because she would be by law even if she wasn’t theirs by blood.

Alec sucked in a shaky breath. “Just tell me what we need to do.”

Isabelle smiled at him and touched his cheek gently. “I will. But right now, I think we both need to get out of this office for some air. We can share that chocolate pastry you brought me.”

“You didn’t even look in the bag.” Alec laughed gently and tucked a stray strand of Isabelle’s dark hair behind her ear.

“I didn’t have to. The smell alone is heavenly and enough to give it away.”

Alec hugged her to him again before they both finally let go of each other. Isabelle snatched up her bag from behind her desk and crossed over to where she had been sitting on the couch just a few moments before to pluck up her pastry bag before she forgot.

“I’ll be out the rest of the afternoon, Gretel. Send all my calls to voicemail?” Isabelle asked as they passed through reception again and Gretel affirmed the request as Alec stood in front of the elevator, waiting for the doors to open up to them.

Alec and Isabelle walked quietly together from her office toward Battery Park. Alec squinted against the bright sunlight as a breeze kicked up and rustled through the trees and his hair. He looked up at the sky and saw clouds starting to roll in over the Hudson. Alec hadn’t paid much attention to the weather forecast, had been too preoccupied and focused on one singular goal to give anything else a moment’s consideration. Not that he wasn’t still singularly focused on the baby, but there was a calmness that was settling in his belly as he and Isabelle walked along, that allowed for him to stop thinking on a loop. He and Magnus had a long road ahead of them, but Alec was filled with a hopefulness that he hadn’t allowed himself to feel since that chilly October night.

They came to the park’s in-ground fountain and Isabelle tugged on his arm, pulling him over towards an open bench. There were a few elementary school aged kids laughing as they played in the fountain, spouts of water shooting up into the air at random intervals, and all of them tried to jump from spout to spout to keep the water from coming up. Instead of making Alec’s heart ache, the sound of their playful shrieks and laughter just made his heart expand. He tucked the image away in the back of his memory, saving it for a time when he and Magnus could bring their child to play in this same fountain.

Alec sat beside Isabelle and wasn’t at all surprised when she kicked off her wedges and tucked them under the bench beside her feet. He heard the rustle of the pastry bag as she opened it, divided the pastry in two, and handed him half.

“Between you and me, you made quite an impression on Lydia last night.” Isabelle tore off a small bit of pastry and popped it into her mouth.

“What do you mean?” Alec turned to look at her, still squinting against the sunlight as it reflected off of the puddles of water in the fountain.

“One of the criteria that a home study evaluates is the applicants’ ability to give and receive affection. So, imagine Lydia’s surprise when she walks into the hospital room, expecting to discuss the baby with the attending physician, or the nurse on duty, and instead finds her being lovingly held by an exhausted firefighter, who had waited at the hospital, wanting to make sure that she was doing okay before he left.”

Isabelle relayed the story in a way that made it seem so simple, but there had been nothing simple about the night before. There had been no other choice in Alec’s mind except to make sure that the baby was healthy, that she was taken care of. He hadn’t expected to feel tethered to her the way that he did, in a way that had nothing to do with the obligation to do right by Sophie, and so intensely that he wasn’t sure that tether would ever be completely severed. She hadn’t just wrapped her tiny hand around his finger, she had completely stolen his heart and touched his soul in such a permanent way that he would carry it with him for the rest of his life.

Alec took a bite of his half of the chocolate pastry. “I got a distinctly different impression from Lydia. That I was hindering her from doing whatever it was she needed to do.”

Isabelle shook her head as she turned toward him and gracefully tucked her legs up underneath her on the bench, draping her arm over the back. “This bodes well for you, you know? As the caseworker, you and Magnus will be working with and meeting with Lydia throughout the entire process, from fostering to adoption. Having her on your side from the beginning…it’s a good thing, Alec.”

“I’ll take your word for it.” Alec nodded and smiled across the fountain at a little girl with pigtails. The girl smiled shyly back at him and turned back to her grandmother.

Alec felt Isabelle’s eyes on him and he turned to look at her. “What?”

Isabelle hesitated and looked down at her nails, scrutinizing her manicure before she looked back at him again. “How do you and Magnus do it? Come out of what happened over Halloween and be stronger for it? I see both extreme joy and extreme heartbreak daily. I’ve seen that moment when a couple decides to give up, and sometimes they’re broken beyond repair. But you and Magnus…you bend, but you never break.”

Alec finished his half of the pastry as he considered her question. It hadn’t been easy, that much was certain. There had been countless arguments and fights about whether or not they should continue to pursue having a family, or just accepting that it wasn’t meant to be and living their lives on their terms. There had been moments where Alec had needed to walk away from Magnus, and Magnus from Alec. But what had never wavered was a deeply woven belief in each other, in the foundation of openness and honesty, of being the other’s strength when they were weak, that they’d built their entire relationship on. They kept each other on solid ground and refused to let emotions become internalized and fester. It was the times that sent their lives into a tailspin when they held tightly to the small things that were within their control, and those small things always ended up being what mattered the most in the end.

All Alec could do was shrug as he answered. “When we have a setback we tend to gravitate more toward each other instead of letting it drive us apart. We talk about everything. Maybe not right away, but we will when we’re both ready to, and in doing so we end up recommitting to everything that brought us together to start with. There are times when he will need to lean on me more than I will need to lean on him, but he knows that I’m there when it’s his turn. And I know that he’s there when it’s mine. We’re in this together, for better or for worse.”

Alec could only hope that this time around, it would be for the better.

**

Magnus set his umbrella just inside the door as he closed it behind him, leaving it to dry. Thunderstorms had rolled in over the course of the afternoon and the skies had opened up with a steady rain just as he had been getting ready to leave his office for the day. He had given in and taken a cab from his office to the sushi restaurant that he and Alec frequented a couple of blocks from their building. Even with the rain, it hadn’t been worth taking a cab home from the sushi den. Despite being soggy, the walk had been refreshing in the way that it had cleared his head and washed away the weight of the conversation with Alec over lunch.

He looked up and saw Alec sitting on the chaise, turning the page of a book he couldn’t make out the title of as Chairman sat curled up in Alec’s lap. Magnus’d had Chairman since he had finished medical school and had always insisted he would never date anyone, man or woman, unless the tabby approved. Chairman had taken an instant liking to Alec in a way that he hadn’t to the few that had come before Alec, namely that Chairman didn’t hiss violently at him or run and hide for days on end when Alec was around.

So Magnus had married him.

Magnus took in every inch of Alec and saw a much different man than had come to see him earlier in the day. Everything—from the t-shirt and jeans and bare feet, the easy set of his shoulders and his jaw, how he had one leg tucked under the other, and the careful, gentle way that his fingers carded through the Chairman’s coat—was relaxed.

Alec looked up from his book as Magnus closed the distance between them, and Magnus was happy to see the light had come back to Alec’s eyes and they had returned to a gentle honey hazel with green flecks instead of the dark hazel they had been over lunch.

“You look refreshed.” Magnus smiled as Alec shifted, causing Chairman to leap down from his lap with a gentle hiss. The cat wound himself through Magnus’ legs slowly before darting off toward one of his favorite hiding places on the bookshelf.

“I came home after meeting with Izzy and laid down for a bit.” Alec closed the book after marking his spot with the book’s dust jacket and set it on the chaise. He stood and took the brown paper bag of food that Magnus carried in his arm.

“You mean you took a nap?” Magnus grinned impishly.

“Not intentionally.” Alec shook his head.

Magnus could have launched into a lecture on the body’s circadian rhythms and how they naturally dipped in the middle of the afternoon in response to needing rest, and how emotional and neurological fluctuations like Alec had experienced could wreak havoc on their natural cycle, but instead he just curled his fingers into the front of Alec’s t-shirt and drew him down slightly for a kiss. He had meant it to be just a quick peck, but it lingered and Magnus’ face split into a grin as it finally broke.

“It’s been an emotionally exhausting twenty-four hours for you, Alexander. Less than that, actually. You’re allowed to rest.” Magnus turned and started toward their bedroom.

“You sound like my doctor.” Alec deadpanned as he followed.

Magnus half turned to look at Alec over his shoulder, eyeing the curves of his biceps and the cut of his chest through his t-shirt, smirking appreciatively. “You’re a bit older than my typical patient, but I’m sure I can fit you in.”

“Do you make house calls? Work evenings? Weekends? Holidays? I work a horribly irregular schedule.” Alec decided to play along, setting the bag he carried down as he turned on his bedside lamp and climbed onto the bed.

“I’m sure I could be persuaded to.” Magnus winked and untucked the hem of his dress shirt from his waistband, digging in the bottom drawer of the dresser for something less constricting and more suited for lounging than his work clothes were. As he turned into the bathroom to take off his makeup, he heard the rustling of the bag as Alec unpacked it.

“Did you get one of every roll they have?”

Magnus could hear the note of a laugh in Alec’s voice and his heart fluttered against his ribcage as he removed each of his necklaces and laid them on the counter. There had been laughter in the months that had followed their last adoption attempt falling through, but it hadn’t come with the same ease that Magnus had heard in that moment, and it hadn’t come over something as small and simple as a dinner order.

“No, just the ones we both like,” Magnus called back as he ran a makeup removing wipe over his face and eyelids, dropping it into the trash when he was finished. He changed out of his dress shirt and pants and into a pair of lounge pants and a sleeveless zip hoodie, and flipped the light off when he was finished.

As he had changed, Alec had set all the food out on the bed and Magnus had to admit that he may have gotten carried away with what he had ordered, but he was also positive that none of it would go to waste. He moved across the room to his side of the bed and stood there as he removed each of the rings he wore, except for the silver band on his left hand that he never took off, and set them on the table next to the bed.

“How did it go with Izzy?” Magnus asked as he climbed onto the bed beside Alec.

Alec paused in loading a small plate with pieces of sushi and a spring roll. “It went pretty well. She thinks that fostering to adopt will be a better route for us. It’ll likely be a longer process overall, but she seems to think it’ll have a better outcome. She’s emailing me all of the paperwork we need to complete Monday morning when she’s back in the office.”

“And how do you feel about it?” Magnus asked carefully.

He wished he could let himself feel the flutters of excitement and hope that used to bat against his ribcage and flutter through his belly whenever he thought of them growing their family. But every time he came close, he remembered standing in the waiting area of a hospital and having that hope and excitement slashed at and shredded beyond recognition, of a new grandfather’s apologetic eyes unable to meet their own as he gave them the news that his baby had decided to keep her baby, and Alec’s arms around him being the only thing keeping Magnus from falling to his knees and coming completely apart at the seams.

Magnus had been ready to give up after that night, had donated all of the furniture they had bought for the nursery and had scheduled it to be picked up after Alec had started a forty-eight hour shift at the firehouse. Magnus had invited Ragnor over to paint the cheerful yellow walls in the room an earthy green. He had packed up every blanket and bootie, every diaper, every bottle, every onesie, anything that they had bought or received as a gift and had taken it to the clinic where Catarina volunteered her time treating children from low-income families. By the time Alec had come home there was no longer any remaining hint that they had prepared their home for a newborn.

Magnus had been certain that they wouldn’t be able to come back from the fight his actions had caused, and he wouldn’t have blamed Alec for walking out and ending everything, but Alec—his loyal, forgiving, loving Alexander—adamantly refused to give up on him, on them, on their family.

Magnus knew that he hadn’t given Alec the same chance to work through how he had felt as Alec had given to him. Despite that Alec had reminded him that there would be times when he leaned on Magnus more than Magnus leaned on him, and that they were in this together, for better or for worse.

“I feel good about it.” The corner of Alec’s mouth tipped up into a soft half grin as he answered and his hand was warm against Magnus’ skin as he took Magnus’ hand into his. “I don’t have that knot in the pit of my stomach, or feel like the bottom is going to drop out. Not like last time.”

“Okay.” Magnus squeezed Alec’s hand and leaned in to press a firm kiss to Alec’s lips. He felt Alec’s lips tug up into a smile against his own, and Magnus kept his eyes closed as he leaned his forehead against Alec’s.

“Don’t make me eat all of this sushi by myself.” Alec teased in a voice just barely more than a hoarse whisper.

Magnus breathed out a soft laugh as he pulled back and shook his head. He snatched the remote off of the table next to the bed and turned the TV on before handing it to Alec. “Be a dear, then, and find something for us to watch on Netflix while I eat?”

Magnus had envisioned something mindless, something they had watched before, something easy and light that might make them both laugh. But the Christmas in July category that popped up on the Netflix home feed was almost too good to pass up.

“ _A Christmas Horror Story_?” Alec breathed out, squinting an eye, and Magnus read through the description as Alec expanded it.

“Santa slays evil, Alexander. We have to.”

“Why do I have a feeling I’m going to regret giving in to you on this?” Alec started the movie and set the remote on the bed between them, turning off the light and laying back against his pillows.

**

Alec could barely follow the movie. Each character story was interwoven with another, and all Alec had been able to pick out from the terrible B-level horror film was that Santa battled zombie elves and a group of teenagers got up to…Alec didn’t even know what. Their empty containers from dinner sat stacked between them and Alec sat up, piling them into the bag and setting it by his bedside table. He was too comfortable and too tired to get out of bed and take them to the kitchen to be put in the recycling bin and would deal with it in the morning.

Alec would have given up on the movie before the first half hour had even finished, but Magnus seemed to be enjoying the ridiculousness of the film, and his laughter over every unrealistic special effect or over-acted scene by William Shatner made Alec grin. There were more than enough ways that Alec knew Magnus would be an amazing dad, but his penchant for not only tolerating, but actually enjoying, horrible movies would prepare him for the never ending stream of children’s movies they would inevitably have to sit through.

Alec turned and curled up on his side, completely diverting his attention from the movie, as the sound of the rain pattering on the windows grew heavier and the rumble of the thunder grew louder and more insistent. Lightening flashed through the window, illuminating Magnus’ profile and Alec felt his breath catch in his chest as his tongue darted out to drag over his lips. Magnus was stunning. Soft and open. There were barely a handful of people who ever got to see Magnus like this, with all of his defenses and his walls stripped away.

Alec’s eyes followed the line of Magnus’ neck down over his shoulder and along his arms to his hands as Magnus sat propped up against his pillows. Magnus’ thumb rubbed along his index finger the way that it did when he was contemplating something or unsure of himself. But unlike those times, there were pauses in the movement of Magnus’ fingers and Alec knew it was an habitual movement more than a need for Magnus to calm his nerves.

Alec smiled softly as he felt his heart flutter against his ribcage as a slow heat built in his belly.

**

Magnus tried to keep his attention focused on the TV instead of on Alec’s fingers that were grazing up and down his forearm, feather light but insistent, sending a familiar heat and spark tingling along every nerve in Magnus’ body. Despite promising himself he wouldn’t, Magnus had let himself get too invested in the movie and needed to know how everything fit together, no matter how awful it admittedly was.

But those fingers…they were incredibly persistent.

Magnus turned his head away from the TV and looked down at Alec laying next to him and looking up with a soft half smile that didn’t match the devilishness hiding behind the fatigue in his eyes.

“You’re not watching the movie, Alexander,” Magnus chided, trying to conceal a grin. He was failing horribly.

“I have something much better to hold my attention.” Alec slowly raked his eyes over Magnus and tucked his lower lip between his teeth as his grin spread.

Thunder rolled outside their window, slow and lingering. Magnus was tempted to see how long he could draw this out and play coy as Alec took his hand into his—because Alec was absolutely adorable when he was flustered—but the slow press of Alec’s lips against the back of his hand, over each of his knuckles individually, made Magnus’ breath hitch.

“You’re right, this movie is awful.” Magnus conceded.

“Finally! Fuck,” Alec sighed dramatically as he pushed himself up onto his elbow. He grabbed at the front of Magnus’ hoodie and tugged him closer until their lips crashed together and Alec was pushed back into his pillows once more.

Magnus laughed easily against Alec’s lips, letting Alec pull him along, and found himself moving to straddle Alec’s lap as their bodies pressed close. Alec tugged at the zipper of the hoodie with one hand as the other curled around the back of Magnus’ neck, his lips more insistent and more urgent as Magnus felt Alec’s tongue tease over the seam of his lips, begging for entrance. Magnus groaned as he parted his lips to let Alec in, savoring the tang of ginger that lingered on Alec’s tongue.

Magnus felt the zipper of his hoodie come apart, and the touch of Alec’s calloused hands dragging up his sides as he slid his hands under the fabric sent a shiver down Magnus’ spine, as though he had been struck by the lightning that flashed outside their window. Magnus sucked in a breath against Alec’s lips as he pushed Magnus’ hoodie off of his shoulders, his hands like fire as they burned a trail down Magnus’ arms.

Alec sat up suddenly, pulling Magnus in tight against him, and Magnus clutched at Alec’s shoulders tightly as he parted his lips from Alec’s and pulled back to look into dark hazel eyes.

“Hey,” Magnus’ voice was gentle as he wound his arms around Alec’s neck. “What’s the hurry?”

Alec’s eyes flicked from Magnus’ eyes down to his lips before he started planting a line of kisses along Magnus’ jaw. “You realize we wasted forty-five minutes of our lives on that movie.”

Alec’s breath was warm against Magnus’ skin, his mouth hungry as he sucked at Magnus’ pressure point and Magnus couldn’t help the low groan that escaped him as his fingers tangled into the hair at the back of Alec’s neck. He knew just where to touch, just where to kiss, to have Magnus ready to come apart and Magnus ground his hips against Alec’s as he tipped his head to the side, opening himself up to Alec’s lips, his tongue, his teeth.

“Forty. Five. Minutes. Magnus.” Alec punctuated each word with a teasing nip at soft skin that he soothed with his tongue. “Such wasted time that we can’t get back.”

Magnus closed his eyes, swallowing hard as he tried to reel some semblance of control back in, but _fuck_ , he was so tempted to let Alec have his way with him, and gently tugged at Alec’s hair as he leaned back. He had to bite at his bottom lip to hold back the whimper that was at the back of his throat from the loss of Alec’s lips on his skin.

“We have all night, Alexander.” Magnus leaned his forehead against Alec’s, could feel Alec’s chest heaving against his own.

“Mm, you have to work tomorrow.” Alec mumbled, tipping his head up in search of Magnus’ lips.

Magnus grinned and breathed out a soft laugh as he ghosted his lips over Alec’s. “It’s my on-call weekend. Doesn’t mean I have to go anywhere.”

“And if you get a call in the middle of the night?” Alec leaned back and raised his eyebrows, his voice dropping to just barely a whisper as his palms pressed flat against the small of Magnus’ back.

Magnus dragged his hands over Alec’s shoulders and down his chest without hurrying, feeling hard muscles beneath the fabric of Alec’s t-shirt. He shrugged with an innocence that didn’t match the desire in his eyes. “House call. I’m already with a patient.”

It was one of the attributes about Alec—his willingness to help and care for others, to literally run into burning buildings and put out fires—that Magnus loved most about him. But Alec didn’t have that same penchant for stopping to take time for himself, to let himself be the one to be cared for.

Magnus pressed his lips to Alec’s in a slow kiss as he slipped his fingers under the hem of Alec’s shirt, caressing the skin along his waistband lightly, and he smiled against Alec’s lips as he felt Alec shudder under his touch, moving his hands from the small of Magnus’ back to his hips. Magnus’ hands danced along Alec’s sides, pushing the shirt up as his hands roamed. He took his time, refused to rush.

“Cat is going to murder you if you make her take a call when it’s not her weekend,” Alec whispered as he pulled away, raising his arms over his head.

Fingers grazed over tight triceps as Magnus eased Alec’s t-shirt over his head and let it drop to the floor beside the bed. Magnus brought his hands up to press flat against Alec’s chest as he worked his lips along Alec’s jaw slowly and grazed his teeth just below Alec’s earlobe, soothing it over with a feather light kiss.

“Cat will understand,” Magnus breathed in Alec’s ear.

“Magnus…” Alec started to protest over a rumble of thunder, sucking in a sharp breath.

Magnus nipped at Alec’s earlobe gently before pulling back to look Alec in the eye, sliding his hands up to rest against both sides of Alec’s neck. His thumbs grazed along Alec’s jaw line and Magnus nudged his nose against Alec’s before drawing him in for a kiss. It was a slow press of lips as they fit and molded together with a familiar ease. They were as opposite as two people could get, and yet everything about them fit perfectly together.

Magnus eased his hands down over Alec’s shoulders—shoulders that were strong enough to, and often did, carry the weight of the world, or the weight of someone else’s world on them—and carefully eased Alec back toward the pillows again.

“If you don’t mind, I need to get back to taking care of my patient,” Magnus mumbled against Alec’s lips. His hips rolled slowly, grinding against the growing hardness in Alec’s jeans.

“Playing doctor again, are we?” Alec groaned as his hips moved to meet Magnus’, hard and insistent as he dragged his hands down the expanse of Magnus’ broad back and over his ass, pressing Magnus tighter against him. Magnus sucked in a breath to steady himself, to keep his focus on Alec instead of giving in to his own desire for more.

“You’ve never complained before.” Magnus smirked, still rocking torturously slowly against Alec, as he dragged his lips steadily along Alec’s neck, pausing to suck at Alec’s Adam’s apple. Magnus’ hands worked over Alec’s chest, tracing every definition of muscle by memory, gently grazing over one of Alec’s nipples with his thumb. Magnus’ mouth followed the path that his hands had taken, slow and deliberate, determined to transfer every ounce of love he could into Alec’s skin with each press of his lips.

Alec’s hands tightened on Magnus’ ass. “Who says I’m complaining now?”

Magnus winked at Alec as he shifted to sit back on his heels as his hands traveled down Alec’s torso, fingers dancing over chiseled muscles that jumped at his touch. Magnus grinned as his mouth burned a trail of kisses lower and lower, nipping teasingly as Alec’s muscles again tightened in response.

“Fuck, Magnus…” Alec grit out.

Magnus’ fingers circled over the button on Alec’s jeans as Magnus kissed along the sensitive skin just above Alec’s waistband, taking it between his teeth as he sucked. Alec sucked in a breath as the pattering of the rain against the windows began to slow. Magnus popped open the button and eased down the zipper, curling his fingers into the bands of both Alec’s jeans and boxer briefs and gave a tug. Alec’s hips raised off the bed and Magnus eased the garments down Alec’s legs and off, letting them fall to the floor with Alec’s shirt.

Alec’s cock was hard against his stomach and Magnus sucked his bottom lip between his teeth as he leaned in, trailing his tongue upwards along the length. Alec’s hips jolted upward as his entire body shuddered. Magnus’ took Alec into one hand as the other trailed over Alec’s hip, and let his tongue tease over the tip.

Alec’s hand curled around Magnus’ forearm as he pushed himself up onto an elbow again. Magnus looked up at Alec with hooded eyes, his tongue continuing to tease.

“Magnus,” Alec whispered as he stuttered out a breath, his hand drawing up Magnus’ arm to curl around his bicep. He pulled Magnus up to him and their mouths met again in a kiss that burned like steady fire.

Magus moved up onto his knees and framed Alec’s face with his hands, his tongue pressing into Alec’s mouth to slide against Alec’s. He breathed out a shuddering breath that Alec’s lips swallowed.

“You have far too many clothes on,” Alec murmured, sucking Magnus’ bottom lip between his, hands rough against Magnus’ skin as they drew down his sides.

“That does present a problem, doesn’t it?” Magnus asked and pulled Alec back into a kiss as Alec’s hands found his waist and his fingers dipped under the waistband of Magnus’ sweats and underwear. Alec palmed at Magnus’ ass as they kissed before working the fabric down over Magnus’ hips.

Their kiss never broke as Magnus climbed off of the bed and stood beside it just long enough to kick his pants and briefs off the rest of the way. Alec’s hands were on him again as he settled back on his knees between Alec’s legs again, and Magnus broke the kiss with a gasp as Alec’s hand wrapped around him. Heat churned delightfully in Magnus’ belly as Alec’s hand worked along his length, the roughness causing a pleasant friction that made Magnus groan from the back of his throat. Magnus felt Alec grin against his lips for barely a moment before Alec’s tongue was pressing into his mouth and sliding against his at the same, unhurried pace as his hand stroked along Magnus’ cock.

Magnus wanted nothing more than to give in to Alec, to let Alec take control and do as he pleased, but he was determined to let this night be about Alec, to lavish him with love and affection and help him release the pent up physical and emotional tension that had built over the past twenty-four hours.

Alec leaned to the side slightly and Magnus moved with him, tangling his fingers in Alec’s hair as Alec’s grip tightened around him and Magnus inhaled a sharp breath as he pressed closer to Alec, pushed deeper into Alec’s hand as he heard the drawer of Alec’s nightstand be pulled open. Alec fumbled through the drawer in search of the lube he kept there, snatching it up blindly.

Alec pulled his lips from Magnus’ and Magnus groaned in protest as he chased after those full, perfect, kiss-swollen lips.

“Shouldn’t keep your patient waiting, Doctor.” Alec grinned as he pressed the lube into Magnus’ hand.

Magnus rolled his eyes before looking at Alec again. “Have I mentioned that if you make me make a coughing joke in the middle of foreplay, it’s automatic grounds for divorce?”

“It’s not if you resist the urge to make the joke.”

Magnus closed his eyes and shook his head, curling his fingers around Alec’s neck and leaning in to kiss him hard on the mouth again, feeling Alec’s grin growing against his lips. Alec took Magnus’ bottom lip between his teeth, gently scraping as he pulled back and settled against his pillow once more.

Magnus slid down the bed again, his breath ghosting over Alec’s bare skin again as he moved. He kissed over each of Alec’s hipbones before drawing the tip of his tongue slowly along Alec's length once more as a shudder worked through Alec’s entire body. Magnus licked over his lips before engulfing Alec in a wet heat.

Alec’s hips lifted off of the bed as Magnus’ mouth traveled along his length and he swallowed hard as he reached for Magnus, tangling his fingers in Magnus’ hair. Magnus raised his eyes up to look at Alec, watched his chest rise and fall rapidly, tongue licking over his lips as he moaned.

It was beautiful. Everything about Alec and the way each muscle in his body strained with every move he made was simply fucking gorgeous.

Magnus eased his mouth off of Alec with a soft pop and smirked at Alec’s groan of protest. Magnus felt Alec’s hand move to the back of his neck as he raised his head off of his pillow. He looked so beautifully overtaken by want and need, and Magnus felt the fire inside of him blow-up in its intensity, thoroughly consuming all of him in a way that couldn’t be contained.

Magnus reached for the lube he’d set on the bed beside him and slicked up his fingers, nudging at one of Alec’s legs to bend at the knee as he settled flat on his stomach. He blazed a line of kisses along the inside of Alec’s thigh, sucking the delicate skin between his teeth, pressing his finger against Alec’s ass, and the sound that came from Alec was absolutely sinful.

“Magnus, I swear…”

But Magnus never got to hear what it was that Alec swore because Alec swore something completely different as Magnus eased his finger inside Alec while taking all of Alec’s length back into his mouth. The strangled sounds were like a symphony in Magnus’ ear, drowning out the rain and thunder outside as Alec’s own storm grew and raged inside. Magnus added a second finger, and Alec’s hips pressed down against Magnus’ hand in one moment, but raised up to his mouth in another as Magnus’ fingers opened him at the same languid pace as he took Alec apart with his lips and tongue.

“Fuck. Need you.” Alec croaked out in a hoarse groan and Magnus felt the desperation in the way Alec reached for him, like a parched man longing for water. Magnus couldn’t have denied him even if he had wanted to because he could never deny Alec anything.

Magnus moved up and over Alec and was instantly pulled into a kiss that was heated and deep, all lips and teeth and tongues. Alec’s hands wandered, intent on touching every inch of Magnus that he could.

“Fuck,” Magnus gasped, feeling as though lightning was coursing through him as Alec forced their hips together again. Magnus’ hips thrust forward automatically, his cock sliding against Alec’s, and bringing forward a desire in Magnus that he had forced aside in order to focus all of his attention on taking care of Alec, but he could no longer ignore for himself. He sat back and reached for the lube, dribbling it along his length, stroking easily to spread it evenly.

“Now,” Alec urged breathlessly.

Magnus pushed Alec’s knees up and positioned himself, pressing slowly until he was inside Alec, swallowed up by tight heat. He covered Alec’s body with his own and found Alec’s lips again, centering himself in everything that was Alec. Arms that circled Magnus and held him close. Lips that were full and soft against Magnus’, always eager to convey exactly what he felt and how deeply he felt it, especially when Alec couldn’t put it into words. Two hearts that beat together as one in a rhythm that was all their own.

Magnus’ hips moved easily, steadily and in no hurry. They had the entire night, had their entire lives ahead of them to love each other. It shouldn’t have been possible for Magnus to love Alec any more than he already he did, and each day he was surprised at just how much more fully and how much more deeply he fell.

Their kiss broke and Magnus leaned his forehead against Alec’s, lips hovering, breath hot against each other’s lips with each panting breath they both took as they moved together. Magnus thrust deeply into Alec, his pace steadily building. He felt Alec’s fingertips press into his back, just below his shoulders. The fire in his veins moved back into his belly, concentrating there, and Magnus knew his release was building. He clamped his eyes shut and willed himself to hold back until Alec had finished.

Magnus braced himself on one hand and took Alec into the other. Alec sucked in a sharp breath, hips arching up into Magnus’ hand. Magnus gripped Alec’s cock firmly, stroked in time with each movement of his hips, and Alec clutched at Magnus’ bicep tightly as he moaned out a string of completely incomprehensible thoughts as his release pulsed through him, spilling out onto his stomach and over Magnus’ hand. Magnus lowered his head, nuzzling against Alec’s neck as his body took over, pressing deep into Alec as his own orgasm took hold of him and Alec’s name spilled from his lips in barely more than a whispered breath.

**

Alec’s heart thumped furiously beneath his ribs despite his breathing slowly returning to normal. He cupped the back of Magnus’ head so gently, fingers caressing along the back of his neck. Alec turned his head and brushed his lips over the shell of Magnus’ ear, earning a small shudder as a reward. A lazy, blissed out smile passed over Alec’s lips, and when Magnus lifted his head Alec saw he looked just as completely blissed out as Alec felt.

Alec couldn’t remember the last time he had felt so at ease, without something hanging over his head and causing tension to settle in his neck and shoulders. He felt completely weightless, as though floating through air, as he melted back into the bed.

Magnus pressed a kiss to his lips, tender and happy, and Alec’s eyes fluttered closed.

“Think you’ve just earned yourself a new patient, Dr. Bane.” Alec peeked one eye open to look at Magnus.

“I’ll have to see how my husband feels about that.” Magnus nudged his nose against Alec’s in an eskimo kiss, but his grin was evident in his voice.

“The good ones are always married. He’s an _extremely_ lucky guy.” Alec breathed out a tired laugh at the same time as Magnus, letting out a deep, satisfied breath.

“Don’t move.” Magnus dropped a feather light kiss on Alec’s forehead before pulling himself away from Alec.

“I couldn’t even I wanted to,” Alec pouted. He hadn’t been ready to lose the heat of Magnus’ body against him, but beyond pouting he wasn’t capable of protesting in any way that would have kept Magnus attached to him. He rested one arm behind his neck and tipped his head, watching as Magnus walked away through one eye, and had it not been for the wave of absolute exhaustion that crashed over him, Alec might have been willing to show Magnus the same care that he’d been given. Alec closed his eyes and filed that thought away for another time on another rainy and stormy night.

The warm swipe of a washcloth over his stomach startled Alec slightly, though he never opened his eyes. “I’ll change the sheets tomorrow.”

“Fair enough.” Magnus laughed lightly. Alec felt the bed shift next to him and Magnus was fitting himself against Alec’s side. “Sleep well, Alexander. Doctor’s orders.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And baby makes three.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all... thank you, thank you, thank you to all of you for being super patient while I hammered this out. It's a labor of love, I tell you. 
> 
> Secondly... if I had a dollar for every time Sam told me she regrets nothing with her enabling of this fic, I'd be rich. 
> 
> Third... all the love and thanks to Sam and Jackie. This really wouldn't have happened if not for them both kicking my ass and working through my somewhat frequent writers blocks and breakdowns. 
> 
> If reading on twitter, tag me or use the hashtag #ATSfic.

_“Family not only need to consist of merely those whom we share blood,_

_but also for those whom we’d give blood.”_

_-Charles Dickens_

_**_

The early evening sun filtered through the window in Magnus’ office. Charts sat stacked on the small table in front of the couch where Magnus was stretched out, feet propped up on the arm as he stared up at the recessed ceiling panels. With Alec working a thirty-six hour shift that would have him at the firehouse until midday tomorrow, Magnus had intended to get caught up on transcribing chart notes since he didn’t have to rush home for the evening. Not that he rushed home normally, but when Alec was home Magnus did his best to leave the office at a decent time.

Silence surrounded him as he closed his eyes, his stomach rolling with the sickening weight of doubt. The application paperwork to become foster parents he and Alec had completed had been submitted weeks ago. Isabelle had told them that the next steps could take a little bit of time, and yet the longer they waited, the more time Magnus had to think, to question whether or not they were making the right decision, to wonder if this was really what they wanted.

If this was really what _he_ wanted.

“It’s open,” Magnus called out, clamping his eyes shut tighter at the sound of a gentle knock on the other side of his door. There was only one person who would check in to see if he was still there at this hour of the night.

The door opened, a small sliver of the fluorescent light of the hallway streaming in, as Catarina poked her head around the door’s edge. “I didn’t think you were still here.”

“Alec is working tonight,” Magnus mumbled. “I thought it was a good time to catch up on things I’m behind on.”

Magnus felt Catarina nudge at his legs and he lifted them off of the arm of the couch so she could sit, resting his feet in her lap once she was settled.

“I see you’re getting a lot done.”

Magnus peeked at Catarina through one eye at the playful scolding tone of her voice. She was right and he knew it. He closed his eyes again and heaved out a deep sigh. “Getting caught up was my intention, but I can’t keep my focus on it.”

He felt Catarina’s gaze on him, evaluating him, searching for signs of what might be bothering him. She had always had a way of reading him, of knowing just what it was that had him rattled.

“Any update on the baby?” Catarina asked with a gentle bluntness that Magnus had always appreciated.

Magnus sat up and shook his head. “No, we’re still waiting. The type of background checks we have to go through take awhile.”

Catarina nodded. “And that means you’ve been thinking.”

“A dangerous pastime. I know.” Magnus laughed easily at the Disney reference. At least he had refrained from singing it. The laugh died as quickly as it had come on and Magnus looked down at his hands, twisting his silver wedding band around his finger. “I just haven’t been able to shake the idea that maybe the only reason I agreed to this is because I’m still trying to make it up to Alec for how I handled everything in October, or that we’re making the wrong decision, and that maybe we shouldn’t be doing this at all.”

Catarina turned toward him. “Oh, how I have _not_ missed your self-doubt, Magnus.”

“Cat.” He paused and looked at her, forcing himself to breathe deeply in an attempt to keep every ounce of doubt buried. “I don’t think I’m as ready for this as I thought I’d be. I’m already counting the ways I’m going to fuck this up.”

Catarina was silent and Magnus felt his stomach drop as he prepared himself to be told that she agreed, that he and Alec should reconsider starting a family.

Catarina tilted her head, watching him. “When Sarah died, do you remember what you told me you would pursue if you decided to give up medicine?”

Magnus looked down at his hands and nodded before answering, in a quiet voice, “Teaching.”

Catarina nodded. “You told me that it was the only other profession you could think of where you could make a difference in a child’s life, that you could take them under your wing. You wanted to give them a place that they knew they belonged. To know that they were cared for by at least one person. That they would be your family.”

Magnus sniffed and cleared his throat, still absently twisting the ring around his finger. “I never thought I’d have a family of my own, because I spent most of my life without one.”

“Until you met Alec.”

Magnus felt the corners of his mouth tilt up into a smile. Alec had challenged Magnus’ cynicism on love and relationships without even trying. He had made Magnus want to open his heart, to love someone again, and to let them in and love him in return. Alec had shown him what a family should have been. That they weren’t perfect by any means, but the love between them could hold them together when everything else around them was crumbling. That that same love was what defined a family more than the blood that ran through their veins.

That a family could be _chosen_.

“Alec gave me a family.”

Catarina smiled. “You’ve been ready for this for as long as I’ve known you. You wouldn’t have shattered as completely as you did at Halloween if this wasn’t what you wanted. And this time, you get to give a little girl who has no one what you never got to have. You are going to make mistakes, but so will Alec. It’s normal. Everything you’re thinking is normal.”

“But—” 

Catarina cut Magnus off. “But if it’s still bothering you, then talk to Alec about it.”

Magnus looked up and saw the look she was giving him. “I know, I know. You shouldn’t have to tell me to talk to him.”

Catarina smiled at him as she stood and leaned down to kiss his cheek. “Don’t work too late.”

“I won’t,” Magnus promised and watched as Catarina disappeared from the office, closing the door with a soft click behind her.

Magnus took in a deep breath as he eyed the stack of charts on the table in front of him. He still wasn’t okay, but the doubt didn’t feel nearly as heavy in his stomach as it had before. He shifted his eyes from the stack of charts to his phone that sat on the table beside him, and with a slow exhale he leaned forward, reaching for it.

**

Alec sat in the lounge, drinking his coffee as he watched the card game unfold around him. He had been told by several of the guys in his unit that he should join in, that he had a poker face they would all kill for, but he’d never seen the appeal of poker, of being at the mercy of the next card dealt.

Chess had always been more his thing, seeing all of the options laid out on the board in front of him, nothing held back, and thinking three, four, even five steps ahead of his opponent. It forced him to strategize, to solve problems, to get himself out of tricky situations. There was always a game going on at home, that he and Magnus would sit down to and play whenever they both had the time. They had used the game more than once as a way for them to talk through problems, or as a way to unwind and settle down after something particularly stressful.

Alec glanced down as his phone vibrated against his leg, and he reached into his pocket for it. He saw Magnus’ name on his screen along with his own face, and Alec tilted his head slightly in confusion. It wasn’t like Magnus to call him when he was on duty, and even more rare for Magnus to initiate a FaceTime conversation.

Alec stood silently and held his phone up to show Jace that he needed to take the call. Out in the empty hallway Alec answered it, recognizing Magnus’ office from what he could see in the frame. “Hey. Is everything okay?”

“Yeah. I just wondered if you had time to talk? If not, it can wait until you’re home tomorrow.”

Magnus looked tired, his normally bright eyes dulled.

“I’ve got time.”

“How’s your shift going?” Magnus asked.

Alec shrugged. “Nothing out of the ordinary. Cap wants me to start looking into studying for the EMT certification.”

“You should.”

“I don’t know. We have a lot going on right now, and I don’t know that I could give it my full attention. There’ll be other chances for me to take it down the road.”

Magnus shook his head. “We’ll find a way to make it work, you know.”

Alec navigated through the station’s hallways until he came to the area where the dorms were and ducked into the room he shared with Jace, knowing that they’d be free of interruption here—for at least a little while, anyway. Alec sat on his bed, leaning his back against the wall as he pulled his knees in toward him and rested his hands on top of them. “Okay. I’m all yours. How was your day?”

Magnus tightened his jaw and rolled his shoulders forward, and Alec knew he was thinking of the right way to answer the question.

“I’ve had a lot on my mind.” Magnus started. “I spoke to Cat about a lot of it, but there’s just something that’s still eating at me.”

“What’s that?”

The frame changed as Magnus moved, leaning back against the couch. He tipped his eyes upward, looking away from the screen, and Alec saw the shine of tears that were building. Alec could tell that Magnus was doing everything he could to keep it all together. Alec worried at his bottom lip as he slowly sucked in a breath, and Alec’s heart ached because he could see that Magnus’ heart did as well.

Magnus looked back at the screen again. “I can’t…” his breath hitched. “…I can’t shake the feeling that I will always be a bystander. That I won’t be able to bond with her the way that you have.”

Alec’s chest tightened as the sharp ache of understanding pierced his heart. Alec had been there from the moment the baby had come into the world. He had held her. She had heard his voice, and had even reacted to it. But while there was this invisible, unbreakable tether between her and Alec, there was nothing yet between her and Magnus.

Alec shifted, lying on his bed, curled up on his side. He breathed out slowly, searching every sharp line of Magnus’ face, which gave nothing away, but Magnus’ eyes said so much more. Alec could see uncertainty mixed with fear, but mostly Alec could see how much Magnus was doubting himself.

“You will bond with her,” Alec said with a small smile. “Maybe more than I will, even.”

“And what makes you say that?” Magnus asked, propping his head up on his closed fist.

“Well, you bond with and make kids trust you every day. You make them comfortable and make sure that they know you’re going to take care of them—that you care _about_ them. And,” Alec paused, thinking of how best to word the rest of his answer, “you already have a unique connection to her that no one else does, having been in foster care yourself.”

Magnus nodded his head slowly and Alec could see him processing everything that had been said, recognizing the way that Magnus’ eyes softened and his jaw relaxed.

“I have no idea what I’m doing, Alec,” Magnus admitted softly.

“I don’t either. But I don’t think that anyone ever really does.” Alec shrugged against his pillow.

Magnus huffed out a soft laugh. “How are you so calm?”

Alec matched the laugh, the tightness in his chest easing at Magnus’ smile on the small screen. “I’m trained to be calm, for one. And for another, I just keep thinking about something that I overheard Izzy’s mother-in-law tell Clary once: _never marry a man unless you’d be proud to have a child exactly like him._ And if she grows up to be as kind and compassionate and loving as you are, then I’ll be pretty damn proud.”

“You’re too good to me, Alexander.”

Alec’s stomach fluttered and a pleasant warmth crept up his cheeks. “You should go home and relax. And try to get some sleep tonight.”

“I make no promises on sleeping.”

“If it helps, I’m on station duty tonight. So even if we get a call, I’ll stay behind.”

Magnus tipped his head to one side as he halfway rolled his eyes, and Alec recognized it as Magnus’ acknowledgement that Alec was right.

“Okay, it helps a little. I’ll see you tomorrow.” Magnus said.

“Tomorrow,” Alec smiled at him. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

**

It was several days later when Isabelle had sent Magnus and Alec a text message that Lydia wanted to schedule their home study for the following week, and they should think about getting the nursery finished. Magnus had lobbied for it to be done in pink, to be fit for a princess, complete with glitter. Alec had been all for it until they had taken an afternoon to go shopping for furniture and bedding, when both had realized that, logically, something more gender neutral would suit them better if they chose to adopt again in the future.

Instead of pink princess theme, they had instead chosen decor in yellow with gray accents—with the promise that their baby girl would get her princess bedroom if she wanted it later.

Magnus passed by the room they had chosen for the nursery and stopped to look in. The blinds were thrown open, and the late-summer sunlight spilled in, unfiltered, brightening the walls that Ragnor had helped Magnus repaint from earthy green to the warm, cheerful yellow it had been before—all without ever bringing up what had happened after Halloween.

Clary had gifted them her own artistic talents by offering to paint a mural on one of the nursery walls. She had arrived early that morning, before Magnus had even gotten out of bed, to start. Now, she stood braced on a step stool, with one of her ear pods in, head bobbing to what Magnus assumed to be an upbeat song as she painted.

Magnus was amazed at the mural she was creating—a whimsical mix of the moon, clouds, shooting stars, and happy, cheerful baby animals nestled amongst the clouds on the wall where the crib would be.

“Remind me again why you didn’t pursue art full time?” Magnus asked her, leaning against the doorframe and folding his arms across his chest.

Clary looked over and smiled brightly at him. “Medical assisting was steadier income.”

Magnus stepped into the empty room as Clary stepped down off the stool and stood next to him, giving her work a once over. He felt her slide her arm around his.

“This doesn’t bring back bad memories?” she asked in a gentle voice.

Magnus looked down at her and smiled. “No. It feels like it’s all starting to heal.”

He looked at the mural again and covered Clary’s hand with his as he felt her head rest on his shoulder. He and Alec had done all of the decorating and painting by themselves the last time, perhaps in an effort to keep everyone’s hearts from breaking in the event that everything went south. It had been a hard lesson to learn when everything had gone awry that they had needed their family and friends more than they had thought they would, and that they should have been included more from the beginning than he and Alec had allowed them to be.

Magnus felt a flutter ripple through his stomach and squeezed Clary’s hand tighter. It was a flutter he hadn’t felt for the better part of several months.

He was _excited_.

“It feels different than last time. It feels real now.” Magnus exhaled a deep sigh and looked at Clary again, silently reminding himself that it felt different because it _was_ different.

“Because this time it _is_ real,” Clary said with full confidence. “You and Alec are going to be great dads.”

Magnus freed his arm from Clary’s grasp and slid it around her shoulders, pulling her in close. He felt her arms around him, hugging him as he pressed a light kiss into her hair that was meant as a silent thank you—for her friendship, for helping to pick him up when he wasn’t sure he could make it through the days when Alec wasn’t home, for helping him put the pieces of himself back together.

For never losing her faith, even when he had.

“The mural is going to be beautiful, Biscuit.”

“Am I interrupting something?”

Magnus turned his head and saw Simon standing just inside the door with a box in his hand. He shook his head. “No, you’re fine.”

Simon held up the box in his hands, stepping deeper into the small room. “Picked up the baby monitor you guys wanted. You really had to spring for the one with a video feed?”

“Yes, we did. One day, when you’re an expectant parent, Sherman, you’ll understand why.” Magnus grinned at the eye roll Simon threw back at him and winked at Clary. “Don’t let him distract you.”

Magnus felt lighter as he turned to walk away, leaving Clary to work on the mural again, and Simon to set up the baby monitor. Apprehension no longer weighed heavily on Magnus’ shoulders, commanding him to approach what came next with a guarded heart. The sound of chatter and laughter floated into the hallway from the living room, and Magnus was struck by how _right_ it felt to have everyone there, and a realization that he wouldn’t want it any other way.

**

Alec sat on the floor, long legs crossed, as he sorted through unassembled pieces of the changing table. Isabelle had settled herself on the couch, sorting through bags of baby clothes to be washed and folded.

“You know she’ll grow out of half of those clothes before she can ever wear them, right, Iz?” Alec grinned at his sister, reaching for the assembly guide laying beside him.

“That’s why I got her something in every size.” Isabelle grinned back at Alec. “Besides, as her aunt, I’m allowed to spoil her like the princess she is.”

“You really can’t argue with that, Alexander.”

“Sure I can,” Alec said, looking at Magnus as he sat on the floor across from him, a look of mock betrayal in his eyes.

“Says the man who made us stop at Build A Bear the other day to make her a pink, sparkly unicorn, complete with a little white tutu,” Magnus teased.

Alec felt his cheeks flush and fought against the smile that was tugging at his mouth. He cleared his throat in an attempt to keep the grin at bay, but no matter what he did, he couldn’t keep the smile from overtaking his features. He looked up at Magnus, took in the glimmer in his eyes and the soft smile on his face, the pure adoration of it all, and Alec couldn’t even pretend to be angry.

“You act like Magnus didn’t send us snaps of the whole thing. Which was adorable, by the way,” Max quipped without looking up from the assembly guide in his hand. Max looked at the array of parts and pieces strewn out on the floor between Jace and him, back to the assembly instructions, and shook his head. “How the fuck does this all go together?”

Jace snatched the paper out of Max’s hand. “Have you never read an Ikea instruction manual before?”

“Shut the fuck up,” Max deflected as he rolled his eyes. “Furniture assembly shouldn’t be more difficult than rocket science, especially when you can buy it already assembled.”

“Tone down the language, little brother?” Isabelle asked, tipping her head in Max’s direction. Alec caught the look that Isabelle directed at Max, intended to reprimand him, but there was a softness to it as well.

“What? Why? There’s no kids around,” Max protested.

“But there will be soon, and it’ll be easier to keep in check later if you start to work on it now,” Magnus reminded him, holding the frame of the changing table to keep everything in place as Alec kept working.

“Okay, but it’ll be, what, eighteen months, at least, before this adorably precious little ankle biter starts to really talk? She won’t be repeating words for awhile.” Max dodged a wadded up sales receipt that came from Isabelle’s direction.

“Not necessarily. You said your first word at five months.” Alec grinned, securing the final two pieces of the changing table together, completing the frame.

“Bullshit,” Max spat.

“Language. And your first word was ‘hi,’” Isabelle told him, casually folding a dress and setting it aside in one of the many piles she had on the couch.

“You made that up.” Max’s voice was skeptical, his brow knitting together questioningly.

“She didn’t. Dad came home from work, said hi to everyone, and you said hi right back.” Jace’s eyes darted over the assembly guide. “Haven’t stopped talking since.”

Max looked from Jace to Alec. Alec just shrugged, his grin only growing at the murderous look full of betrayal Max was directing at him. “If you don’t believe us, call mom and dad and ask.”

“Yeah, I’d rather do literally anything else.” Max was matter of fact as he turned back to Jace, handing over a piece of the crib frame when Jace asked for it.

“Speaking of the baby,” Isabelle looked between Alec and Magnus as she changed the subject. “Have you chosen a name for her yet?”

“We’ve discussed it,” Alec started, diverting his eyes from Isabelle’s and finding Magnus’ instead. As soon as Isabelle had mentioned they would be able to give the baby her legal name, they had started searching. They had run through traditional names, trendy names, and gender neutral names, but even Magnus had agreed that none of the names, even those that they both halfway liked, seemed to _fit_.

“We decided on a lot of names that we don’t like. And that when we do adopt her, she’ll have both our last names.” Magnus shrugged, and Alec saw the corners of his mouth twitching up as Magnus tried to keep his face neutral.

“We also wanted to give her a name with meaning behind it and not just something that sounded pretty.” Alec leaned back on his hands, eyes still locked on Magnus’. He watched as Magnus’ face softened, the tiny smile he was trying to hold back coming to life along his lips, and Alec couldn’t hold back his own smile.

“So what did you decide on?” Isabelle asked as Simon and Clary joined them and found places to sit, and Alec could hear the anticipation in her voice.

“Mia,” Magnus shared.

“You’re giving her a Hebrew name? Nice.” Simon grinned, sliding his arm around Isabelle.

“What does it mean?” Clary asked, tucking a fallen strand of hair from her ponytail behind her ear.

Simon cleared his throat as all eyes turned to him expectantly. “In Hebrew, it basically means _Wished For_.”

Isabelle gasped softly and brought both hands up to cover her mouth, while Clary could only smile.

“I never figured you two to be sentimental saps, but,” Jace tipped his head with a grin, “it’s a nice name.”

“It’s a beautiful name,” Isabelle sniffed, and Alec looked over to see her dabbing at her eyes. It tugged at Alec’s heart just how loved their little girl was already, and as he reached for Isabelle’s hand, he felt the flutters of excitement roll through him.

**

Magnus stood in the kitchen, staring at the refrigerator. He’d had his afternoon patients rescheduled as soon as the meeting with Lydia for later that afternoon—in just a couple of hours—had been confirmed. Under any other circumstances where they would have someone over, Magnus would have planned a light cocktail hour, but all his normal ideas wouldn’t serve him well for this. It wasn’t the type of meeting where sangria or mimosas were appropriate, and he wasn’t sure if he should put together a small plate of things to nibble on as the interview went on, since it was too late for lunch but far too early for dinner.

He moved over toward a cabinet to pull down a pitcher, but stopped short of setting it on the counter. Should he make lemonade? Iced tea? Should he keep things simple with water and lemon? Or was coffee a better choice? Would Lydia even take a drink that was offered to her, or would she politely refuse in order to keep a professional distance?

Magnus set the pitcher on the counter and returned to the fridge, brushing his hair back out of his face as he pulled it open and took note of what they had that he could throw together quickly. There was fruit and cheese, and that was always a safe choice.

The sound of the shower running down the hall caught Magnus’ attention at the same time he heard a knock on the door. He checked the time quickly and breathed out a sigh of relief, knowing that Lydia wasn’t due for another hour, at least.

Isabelle greeted Magnus on the other side of the door, dressed in a figure-flattering red dress, her raven black curls spilling over her shoulders, and pulled him into a hug almost as soon as she stepped inside the apartment.

“Relax,” she breathed into his ear, “everything is going to be fine.”

Magnus pulled back and looked down into Isabelle’s dark eyes, and he could feel his nervous energy radiating out of him. If he couldn’t hide it from Isabelle, he’d never be able to hide it from Lydia, and he certainly wouldn’t be able to hide it from Alec. “Am I that obvious?”

“You are.” Isabelle nodded as she pulled back and set her purse beside the door. “But, I also expected you to be not quite as calm as you usually are. There’s no way to make a home study less nerve racking.”

“That may be the understatement of the millennium.” Magnus turned and started back to the kitchen, Isabelle following after him, high heels clicking on the hardwood floors. “Alec had to stop me from calling the cleaning service in a second time this week.”

“Alec is…almost too calm about all of this,” Isabelle said as she leaned against the edge of the kitchen island, hands flat against the granite countertop. “Can I help you with anything?”

Magnus shook his head as he filled the pitcher with ice and waited for the water in the tap to run cold before he flipped the filter on and looked up at Isabelle. He saw in her eyes that she understood his desire to make sure everything was as close to perfect as it could be. He exhaled a slow breath as the pitcher filled and flashed her a small smile. “Just keep me company.”

“That I can do.” Isabelle smiled.

“Hey,” Alec’s voice filtered into the kitchen from behind them.

Magnus turned his head to see Alec rolling up one sleeve of his dark blue button down shirt that he had paired with dark jeans. It was such a casual look, and everything from the set of Alec’s shoulders, the rolled up sleeves, and how the top buttons had been left undone projected just how at ease Alec was. And yet, Magnus could feel how in control Alec still was.

Alec came up behind Magnus and rested his chin on Magnus’ shoulder. “I’ll finish up here if you want to finish getting ready.”

Magnus paused for a moment before he remembered that Alec had gotten home from work that morning as Magnus had been getting ready to start his day, so Alec hadn’t seen that he had gone to work without his makeup, had taken off every piece of jewelry except his wedding band, and had chosen perhaps the most ordinary pieces of clothing he owned to change into when he’d gotten home.

“I am ready.” Magnus felt Alec take a step back as he spoke, and Magnus took advantage of the space to turn back to the fridge for a lemon. He could feel Alec’s eyes on him, taking in his jeans and plain black Henley shirt, his hair that had been blown dry that morning but not styled otherwise. Magnus just hoped Alec wouldn’t notice that he’d removed the gel polish from the manicure he’d gotten the week before.

Alec took the lemon from him when he turned back around and looked at Isabelle. “Give us a minute?”

“Take all the time you need, I can handle this,” Isabelle granted and moved from where she had been standing at the edge of the counter, pulling a knife out of one of the drawers to cut the lemon.

Magnus sighed deeply as Alec lead him out of the kitchen.

**

Alec guided Magnus into the bathroom by the hand, closing the door after them and pulling Magnus into him. As beautiful and stunning as Magnus was when he wasn’t styled to perfection, it wasn’t at all like him to lay himself completely bare as he was now. “Everything okay?”

Magnus exhaled a heavy breath as he met Alec’s eyes. “I just want to make the _right_ impression.”

Alec nodded slowly, locking his arms around Magnus. “You want to fit into what would be expected of you?”

“More or less,” Magnus admitted, hands resting against Alec’s chest.

Alec’s heart ached as he inhaled a deep breath and pursed his lips. How long had he forced himself to be somebody he wasn’t to fit what was expected of him as he had buried deep everything that he was, and everything he wanted? He had fought to live his own truth, to kick aside the expectations set on his shoulders, and had lost his parents because of it. And yet, in learning to embrace himself, with Magnus’ guidance and encouragement, he had gained so much more.

Alec was suddenly filled with an overwhelming need to protect Magnus from the world, despite knowing that Magnus typically neither worried about nor cared how the world saw him. “This calls for emergency glitter.”

Magnus knit his brow together. “I…don’t follow.”

Alec breathed out a soft laugh, inclining his head until his forehead rested against Magnus’. “Since the day I met you, you have been completely and unapologetically _you_ , smoky eyes, glitter, jewelry and all. You’ve never given a damn what other people want or expect you to be.”

“This is different, Alec.” Magnus closed his eyes, curling his fingers against the smooth front of Alec’s shirt.

“That’s all the more reason to be yourself, Magnus.” Alec took Magnus’ hands into his, leaning back as a small smile pulled at his lips. He gently tugged Magnus over to the counter and stood behind him, hands resting on Magnus’ hips. Alec knew that cosmetics and jewelry weren’t just armor that Magnus wore as something to hide behind or to shut out the world. There was _power_ to it that gave him an intensity that Alec didn’t have the words for, but which was wholly and indescribably _Magnus_.

Alec pressed a kiss against the side of Magnus’ neck. “Just be you. Don’t hide because who you are doesn’t live up to what the world wants or expects you to be.”

Alec felt Magnus relax against him, the tension that had built up slowly easing as Alec’s eyes met Magnus’ in the mirror.

“There’s just one problem,” Magnus lamented, pulling Alec’s arms around him completely. “My glitter eyeliner died, and I haven’t had a chance to replace it yet.”

Alec grinned coyly before he moved away from Magnus and rifled through one of the drawers in the vanity until he found a container, triumphantly holding it in his palm when he did.

“Body shimmer?” Magnus laughed easily, taking the container from Alec and inspecting it. “Does anyone still use body shimmer? I know I haven’t used it for _years_. I didn’t even know I still had this. How did _you_ know I still had this?”

“I didn’t, but I figured you had to have _something_ that would work.” Alec drew his tongue over his lips as he leaned against the edge of the counter, the sound of Magnus’ laughter igniting a familiar warmth in his veins.

Magnus set the body shimmer on the counter and moved closer until he was standing between Alec’s legs. “I’ve told you that you’re too good to me, right?”

Alec pretended to think it over, pulling Magnus in closer and leaning in for a quick kiss. “Maybe a couple of times. I’m not really sure.”

“Okay,” Magnus rested his palms flat against Alec’s chest. “I have to make myself presentable, and you need to go make sure Izzy hasn’t destroyed our kitchen. _That_ would be disastrous right now.”

“Oh God, what was I thinking putting her in charge of the kitchen?” Alec asked with a slow shake of his head.

“Your husband was having a silent crisis that required your attention. It really couldn’t be helped.” Magnus winked, patting Alec’s chest lightly.

Alec pushed away from the edge of the counter with a grin as Magnus reached for his face primer, playfully swatting Magnus on the ass as he started to walk away.

**

“Anything else we need, Iz?” Alec asked, stepping in from the balcony. It wasn’t large enough to be a full patio, but it was sizable enough that they’d be able to sit outside and enjoy the warmth of the August afternoon with the Brooklyn skyline as their backdrop.

Isabelle stood just inside the double doors and looked at the setting, hands on her hips. Alec stood silently beside her, with his hands in his pockets, letting her assess their surroundings. The balcony furniture had been shuffled around to better suit a conversation. The pitcher of water sat in the center of the patio table, and small platters with fruit, cheese, nuts, and chocolate were set on either side. Alec didn’t have the same flair for entertaining as either Isabelle or Magnus did, but he couldn’t see that anything was missing.

“No. I think if you added anything more, it would just look overdone and set the wrong tone for the entire interview.” Isabelle let her hands drop from her hips. “Lydia should arrive at any time, so now you just have to try and relax.”

“I am relaxed.” Alec looked over at his sister and saw her scrutinizing him, looking for anything that would contradict his words. Tight shoulders. Crossed arms. That thing he did with his thumb against his palm. Short sentences. The way he scratched at the back of his neck. But he stood casually, his weight distributed more towards one side, with his hands in his pockets and a small, but seemingly permanent smirk on his face.

“I have to tell you, Alec,” Isabelle turned to him, “it’s really unnerving how calm you are about all of this. No one is this relaxed going into a home study, where literally everything that you say and do will be completely picked apart and analyzed for the smallest reason to deem you and Magnus unfit to raise a child.”

“Well, I think it’s to our advantage that he can remain calm under pressure.”

Magnus’ voice caused Alec to turn and his smile was instant as he slowly drank Magnus in; eyes rimmed in black kohl, hair styled high, necklaces layered against his chest from shortest to longest over his black shirt, the subtle shimmer of Magnus’ throat and forearms as the light caught on fine specks of glitter. Alec’s eyes found Magnus’ hands, and his smile brightened at the sight of each of Magnus’ bracelets and rings, and the dark lacquer that was no doubt still drying on his fingernails. Magnus stood taller and moved with the ease and fluidity of a man that was in complete control of his domain and knew it.

“There you are.” Alec grinned. He pushed his shoulders back just slightly, standing taller and more ready for everything that lay ahead of them than he had been only an hour ago, because he knew that Magnus was just as ready as he was to tackle this meeting head on.

Together.

Before Magnus could say anything, Alec heard a quick but firm succession of knocks on the door.

“I’ll get it.” Isabelle stepped forward, and Alec looked at her with a mix of confusion and surprise, one eyebrow furrowing. Isabelle seemed to read the question Alec left unasked, and paused. “It’s usually less awkward when the attorney makes the introduction between her clients and the caseworker.”

Alec wasn’t going to doubt her, and Isabelle smiled at them as she walked away and Alec took hold of Magnus’ hands.

“Ready?”

“Yes.” Magnus tightened his hold on Alec’s hands, his voice sure. “I am.”

Isabelle returned with Lydia at her side, dressed in a teal dress, her long hair left down except for the braid at the front that Alec recalled from his first meeting with her. Her simple but chic black bag was draped over her shoulder and her hands were clasped around a leather portfolio in front of her. But Alec noticed that her overall posture didn’t carry the same rigidity that he’d seen that night in the hospital, and her blue eyes, while still sharp, seemed brighter and softer. Perhaps Isabelle had been right about the impression he’d made on her.

“Lydia, you remember Alec.” Isabelle gestured toward her brother as he and Magnus turned toward them.

“Mr. Lightwood. It’s a pleasure to see you again.” Lydia offered her hand and Alec took it, holding it with the same firmness as she held his.

“Call me Alec, please?” Alec asked with a kind smile that Lydia returned with a nod. Alec turned his head slightly toward Magnus as he released Lydia’s hand. “This is my husband, Magnus.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Dr. Bane.” Lydia extended her hand and Magnus took it between both of his hands.

“Magnus, please.” He grinned and Lydia offered a nod and another smile.

“Shall we get started?” Isabelle asked, and Alec realized that she had slipped into the attorney persona that she wore like a second skin.

Lydia nodded. She turned toward Magnus and Alec, and Alec recognized the same look on her face now as the one she had worn when he had met her at the hospital—all business and almost none of the kindness that she had shown just seconds before, as though she was keeping her emotional distance. Alec couldn’t fault her for that. She had to remain objective because it was in the best interest of the baby if she stayed unbiased and emotionally detached.

“I generally like to start with the interview to get to know you both, and help you get comfortable with the process of becoming foster parents before doing the walk through of the home. I’ve found that it helps to make you more comfortable with a complete stranger going through your private space.”

“That works for us.” Alec looked at Magnus and Magnus nodded his agreement.

“Please, make yourself comfortable,” Magnus said as he gestured toward the balcony.

Lydia and Isabelle seated themselves in the two single chairs, while Magnus and Alec sat beside each other on the loveseat. Alec leaned forward and poured each of them a glass of water, and settled into the cushions as he rested his arm behind Magnus.

Lydia pulled out her phone and leaned forward to set it on the table between them. “I’ll be recording the interview instead of sitting here and taking notes throughout the whole thing. We haven’t completely found a way to make our interviews feel less like interrogations, but in my experience, this helps to keep everything more conversational.” She hit the record button. “So, tell me about yourselves. How did you meet?”

Alec looked at Magnus to see that Magnus was already looking at him with an amused grin on his face and Alec chuckled softly, bringing his hand up to scratch at the light stubble on his chin.

 

_Magnus stood outside the door of the apartment, a red blend in his hands. He’d taken the bottle from one of the few that he kept in the wine rack on his kitchen counter, instead of stopping to pick up one of the kinds that Magnus knew Clary liked. Aside from the fact that stores were closed, he’d decided too late to accept her invitation to Thanksgiving dinner, the fear of feeling like an imposition weighing heavy in his stomach, and didn’t want to be later than he already feared he was. Catarina was scheduled to volunteer at the clinic and Ragnor was in London giving a lecture that Magnus assumed was about literature and its impact on the twenty first century or some other topic that was equally riveting, and Magnus could no longer handle the judgmental gaze of The Chairman boring into him as he sat on his couch, alone, flipping from one football game he didn't care for to the next._

_Magnus knocked and a moment later the door was thrown open. He had barely opened his mouth to say hello when he felt the arms of a fiery redhead around him, and he staggered back slightly in an attempt to keep his balance as he hugged her to him just as tightly as she was clinging to him._

_“Hello to you, too, Biscuit,” he said as he grinned at her when Clary finally drew back from him and tucked her hair behind her ear._

_“I’m sorry! I’m just happy you came. I was worried you wouldn’t.”_

_Magnus offered her a shrug that told her that he almost hadn’t come as he stepped inside the small apartment and closed the door behind him, offering her the bottle in his hand._

_“You actually arrived at a great time. Jace is just carving the turkey.”_

_“You don’t normally host Thanksgiving, do you?” he asked as Clary accepted the bottle he held out for her._

_“No, this was…sort of a last minute thing.” Clary cradled the bottle in her arms as they stood just inside the door, out of earshot, and Magnus looked at her, his brow furrowed in concern. “It’s really not my place to go into detail, but between you and me…there was sort of a…falling out…between one of Jace’s brothers and their parents last week. Jace asked if we could have dinner here so his brother would have someplace to go and not have to spend Thanksgiving alone.”_

_“Ah.” Magnus nodded and shrugged off his coat. “I see.”_

_With his coat tucked into the closet, Magnus followed Clary into the open space that served as the living room, kitchen, and dining area. Jace nodded a hello as he carved the turkey, and Clary introduced Magnus to Isabelle and reintroduced him to Simon._

_“And this is—” Clary started, gesturing to a tall man with dark hair and the most captivating hazel eyes Magnus had ever seen, and as much as he wanted to appreciate the man’s muscular build, Magnus couldn’t tear his gaze away from the eyes of the man standing in front of him._

_“Alec,” the man said before Clary could say it for him, and Magnus felt his stomach do flips at the depth and strength of his voice. Magnus took the hand Alec offered and his skin tingled where they touched. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d had such an instantaneous reaction to someone, the last time he had felt so completely_ alive _._

_“Magnus.” He felt his shoulders swaying slightly, and neither he nor Alec seemed ready to make any sort of move to let go of the other’s hand, or to break the other’s gaze for that matter._

_“Oh my fucking God, you two can make heart eyes at each other later. Can we eat now?”_

_The trance that both he and Alec had been held in broke. Magnus released Alec’s hand as Alec looked at a younger, slightly shorter man with the same dark hair._

_“And this is my youngest brother, Max.” Alec rolled his eyes, but Magnus could tell that there was love behind it as Alec slung his arm around Max’s neck._

_Once dinner was set on the table, Magnus found himself seated across from Alec, and Magnus took advantage of the many opportunities he was given throughout the meal to observe him. Alec was quiet, the kind of man who chose to observe and listen rather than always jump into the conversation. When he laughed, Magnus noted, it was with his entire body, and his smile was breathtaking in its brightness and the way it made his eyes crinkle in the corners. Magnus was suddenly filled with the overwhelming desire to be the cause of Alec’s laugh, the reason for his smile._

_“Can I help with dishes?” Magnus offered once dinner was finished._

_“Absolutely not,” Clary answered firmly, her hand reaching to pick up his empty plate before crossing the short distance into the kitchen._

_“She won’t even let us help when we come over.” Alec smiled across the table at him, and finished his beer._

_“If you want to help, you can dish out dessert,” Clary called out over her shoulder in a sweet, sing-song tone._

_Alec huffed as he rolled his eyes and Magnus had to lower his head to keep his grin from being too obvious. When he had gotten his features under control, Magnus looked back at Alec. “If you want the help, I don’t mind.”_

_They waited until Clary and Jace had finished dishes. Alec cut both the apple and pumpkin pies and Magnus served them until they were the only two left without._

_“Pumpkin or apple?” Alec asked._

_“Pumpkin,” Magnus answered and Alec turned to hand him a slice._

_“Do you…um…w-want to get a drink sometime? Or coffee? Or…just…hang out…maybe?” Alec asked with a hard swallow, chest rising with every heavy breath he took as their eyes met again, his hand still on the plate despite it resting firmly in Magnus’ palm._

“And even though I did want to ask him on a date, that wasn’t even what I was going to ask him.” Alec laughed and shook his head. “I had meant to ask if he wanted ice cream or whipped cream on top of his pie and blurted that out instead. It wasn’t the smoothest move I’ve ever made.”

“But that was why I said yes.” Magnus grinned, his hand resting comfortably atop Alec’s knee. “Because it was so genuine and honest.”

Alec was certain that he couldn’t contain the pink flush that stained his cheeks and his skin was warm, but not because of the heat of the late-August day. He tipped his forehead against Magnus’ temple briefly before turning back to Lydia.

“I followed up asking him on a date in the most un-smooth way by forgetting to get his phone number so we could connect later and make plans.”

“In fairness to you, Alexander, I didn’t get yours either.” Magnus paused to sip his water before turning to Lydia. “So I had to get his number from Clary at work the following Monday. We both had an afternoon off a few days after that and met up for coffee. Coffee turned into dinner later that evening, and we’ve been together ever since.”

Lydia’s features had softened, and a soft grin rested on her lips as she cradled her glass in her hands. “And how long were you together before getting engaged?”

“A little shy of four months, I think?” Alec answered, looking at Magnus questioningly, making sure that he had the timeline correct.

“Yeah, that sounds right.” Magnus nodded, leaning in closer to Alec. “Which was a few months longer than I wanted it to be, truth be told.”

 

_It was rare that Magnus woke before Alec, and even rarer that Magnus was awake before the sun had fully risen on a Saturday._

_Magnus smiled languidly as he took in the lines of Alec’s face, peaceful in sleep, eyelashes resting against his cheeks. The bright, early morning sun filtered in through the open windows, casting Alec in an angelic glow. Alec’s hand was heavy and warm in Magnus’ own, exactly as it had been as they’d fallen asleep the night before, talking in whispered voices. The touch grounded Magnus, steadied him. Alec had settled the restlessness and wanderlust that had consumed him for as long as he could remember, as he had traveled the world in search of someplace that he could claim as his own._

_Magnus thought about the small box that sat in the drawer of his nightstand, where it had been waiting since Magnus had put it there after coming home on New Year’s Eve. Despite how_ new _their relationship still was, Magnus was certain that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Alec. He had been ready to drop to one knee as the ball dropped, the seconds counting down to midnight, until uncertainty had taken hold of him. Was he rushing into this? What if it wasn’t what Alec wanted also? The box had stayed safely in his pocket, and had stayed in his drawer through Valentine’s Day._

 _But Magnus was even more certain of what he wanted now, with spring just around the corner. He wanted to spend a lifetime’s worth of mornings waking up beside Alec, just like this, wherever life took them, because Alec was_ home _. Magnus had spent a lifetime searching, and in Alec he had found where his life and his heart belonged._

_Beside him, Alec breathed in deeply and Magnus felt Alec’s hand squeeze his gently. Alec woke slowly and looked over his shoulder at the sunshine streaming in through the window before burrowing back against his pillow and shifting closer to Magnus._

_“What time is it?” Alec mumbled through a heavy-eyed haze._

_“Early,” Magnus whispered, breathless at Alec’s unguarded beauty._

_“Mmm.” Alec nodded as his eyes closed again. “How come you’re awake?”_

_“Just thinking,” Magnus answered, pushing a lock of Alec’s dark hair off of his forehead. Alec’s mouth twitched up at the corners as a sleepy smile played along his lips._

_“About what?”_

_“You.”_

_“Care to share?” Alec’s eyes opened slowly, and Magnus’ breath caught in his chest the same way it had the first time they had met. Alec’s thumb grazed gently over the outside of Magnus’ hand, and Magnus felt a warm sense of calm spread through him as he entwined his fingers through Alec’s._

_Magnus inhaled slowly, deeply. He waited for the flutters of uncertainty to fill him, but instead he felt a different kind of flutter, one of a deep, unending love. Magnus’ tongue darted out, wetting his dry lips, and he tightened his hold on Alec’s hand, centering himself._

_When he spoke, Magnus’ voice was barely more than a whisper._

_“Marry me?”_

“It wasn’t until the St. Patrick’s Day parade the next weekend that we told our friends and family we were engaged, which was completely unintentional, but neither of us wanted to break the news to them over the phone or with a text message, and that was the first time we were able to see everyone in person to tell them,” Magnus finished, and Alec nodded as he glanced down at Magnus’ hand in his. He traced the edge of Magnus’ wedding ring slowly as he thumbed at the edge of his own matching band.

“I think there was also a little bit of apprehension about how everyone would react, you know? We didn’t want anyone to think we had rushed into anything, because that’s the perception others have when things move fast, is that they have to have been rushed into,” Alec added and shifted his eyes carefully toward Isabelle. She kept her expression neutral, but Alec saw the same shine of happy tears in her eyes as she’d had when they had told her of their engagement.

Isabelle met Alec’s careful gaze, and the corner of her mouth tipped up into a soft smile that conveyed so much love and pride that it tugged at Alec’s heart as he remembered the smile she had given him just before she had walked down the beach with him on his wedding day.

“Especially since we had already started planning the wedding for the end of the summer,” Magnus laughed lightly.

 

_The early September breeze blew in off the water, filling the air with the subtle tang of salt. The sun began to set behind the lighthouse off in the distance, casting a red and orange glow in the sky. Magnus watched as the breeze rustled through Alec’s hair, his eyes squinting against the brightness of the sun. He had never looked as beautiful as he did then, and Magnus inhaled a deep breath as he folded his fingers through Alec’s._

_How had Magnus gotten so lucky to be able to love someone as much as he loved Alec? To be standing with him here, on the private beach of Ragnor’s Fire Island estate, surrounded by those closest to them as they joined their two lives into one? Max and Jace stood beside Alec as Raphael and Ragnor stood at Magnus’ side. Isabelle and Simon, and Catarina and Luke sat in the front where Magnus knew Alec’s parents, and his own mother and stepfather, should have been sitting._

_“Without respect, love is lost. Without caring, love is boring. Without honesty, love is unhappy. Without trust, love is unstable,” Jem spoke and Magnus glanced through the side of his eye at Tessa and Will as Jem continued. “And we come together today to celebrate this love that you’ve built together, a love that is respectful of each other. That is caring beyond measure. That is honest and true, and that is firmly solidified by a foundation of trust. And it is in the spirit of that love that Alec and Magnus have chosen to write their own vows to each other.” Jem inclined his head. “Alec.”_

_Alec licked his lips quickly and pressed them together, tightening his hands in Magnus’. When Alec looked at him, Magnus saw a reverence and adoration in his eyes that no one else had ever looked at him with before, and Magnus was just as captivated at that moment as he had been the moment they had met._

_“For most of my life, I hid who I really was. I tried to mold myself into what others wanted me to be, all while pushing aside everything that I wanted for myself.” Alec paused and took a deep breath. Magnus brought one of Alec’s hands up and kissed it, hoping to steady Alec the way that Alec had always steadied him._

_“And then you came into my life, Magnus, when I wasn’t expecting it. When I wasn’t looking for anyone. When I was just starting to navigate a new reality where I could have what I wanted. You helped guide me, and made me see that I didn’t have to make that adjustment alone. You accepted me as I was, and yet you allowed me to change as you encouraged the best parts of me to emerge.” Alec paused and Magnus felt himself holding his breath as he hung on Alec’s every word. “I promise to always be by your side, to walk with you on whatever journey life takes us, and when life challenges us I promise to grow stronger with you because of it. I promise to love you for all that you are, for all that you have been, and for all that you’re yet to be.”_

_Magnus slowly released the breath he had been holding and turned to Jem with an impish grin. “Can I kiss him now?”_

_“Patience, my friend.” Jem looked at Magnus with an understanding smile as the soft sounds of laughter rippled through their guests. “You still have your vows for him.”_

_Magnus turned back to Alec and saw the amused smirk that settled on Alec’s lips and Magnus allowed himself a gentle chuckle as he lowered his head to gather himself. When he looked at Alec again, his focus was on Alec’s eyes and the flecks of green among the soft brown, and of Alec’s hands in his once again grounding him._

_“Socrates once said that sometimes you don’t build walls to keep people out, but rather to see who cares enough to break them down. I’d had my heart broken so many times that I thought the walls I built were indestructible. And yet the more I pretended to be ambivalent to love, the more I craved it. And then a man less wise than Socrates promised me that someone would come along one day and break down those walls.”_

_Magnus paused as Ragnor offendedly cleared his throat next to him, and Magnus took the moment to inhale a steadying breath before he continued. “You broke down those walls without me even realizing, Alexander. You made me rethink everything that I believed about what it meant to love someone—about what it meant to let someone love me. You brought me light when I was surrounded by darkness, and peace to temper my restlessness.” Magnus paused briefly as the breeze picked up off the water again. “I promise to not just tell you, but to show you, every day, the ways that I love you. I promise to always be your light in the dark, to grow with you instead of apart from you. When we stumble on hard times, I promise to be your rock to stand on, and I promise to love you more tomorrow than I do today.”_

_Jem turned to Jace, holding out his hand as he asked for the rings, but Magnus kept his eyes locked on Alec’s, lost to their depths as a ship to the sea, as they exchanged them, binding their lives to each other._

_“I am truly honored to pronounce you husband and husband.” Jem grinned as he looked to Magnus. “_ Now _you can kiss him.”_

_They met each other in a kiss that was slow and filled Magnus with warmth and love, and the promise of every new adventure that lay ahead of them._

 

Magnus grazed his thumb over his lips, glancing down at his lap. “Except when we did stumble on hard times, the first time we were really and truly tested in the five years we’ve been married, I completely crumbled instead of being the rock that Alec needed—that I had promised him I would be.”

The subtle break in Magnus’ voice wasn’t lost on Alec and his stomach rolled uneasily at the sound. He knew that Magnus believed he had broken every promise he’d ever made to Alec, and was so focused on that one promise that Magnus couldn’t see that every other vow he’d made, he’d kept.

Alec took Magnus’ hand into his. “But I promised that we would grow stronger because of it, and you promised that you wouldn’t grow apart from me. And we both promised that we would love every version of each other. Those are all promises that we kept.”

“Do you think you’re stronger because of that adversity?” Lydia asked.

Alec knew without a doubt that they were, because they had fought to be—sometimes literally. He knew that there had been times he had wanted to give up. He was certain that there were times when Magnus likely had too. They had come out of it bruised, battered, and not quite the same as they had been, but they had made it out together.

Magnus nodded, tightening his fingers around Alec’s hand. “The steel that goes into the fire is always stronger when it’s taken from it. It’s not the same as it was when it went in. It becomes malleable with the heat and the flame, and can be changed and shaped into whatever it will eventually become. But it’s stronger. Alec and I are no different. We aren’t the same people that we were when our first adoption fell through ten months ago, and our marriage isn’t the same as it was then, either. I think it’s better, as strange as that may sound, because we both put forth the effort that was needed to make it work. It was never completely one-sided. And I know I love Alec more now than I ever have.”

“Everything we have was built on the love we have for each other. And that didn’t change when the world came crashing down around us. So that love was what we rebuilt everything on, and we made it better.” Alec added.

What they had been through, Alec wouldn’t have wished on anyone, and still Alec realized that couples the world over went through the same thing every day and that not all of them were strong enough to withstand something so earth shattering. It was a testament to the strength of their faith in—and love for—each other that their darkest days brought them closer rather than tearing them apart, and Alec was proud of it.

**

The sun was starting to set over the Brooklyn Bridge as Lydia made her final notes in her portfolio, standing in the middle of the living room. She had made comments and asked questions as she had done her walk through of the apartment. Rationally, Magnus knew that the apartment was a safe place to raise a child and that Lydia wouldn’t find anything she could deem hazardous, but he had felt the familiar stirrings of uncertainty try to take hold in his stomach as his heart began to race in his chest. Magnus reached for Alec’s hand as the seconds slowly expanded around them into what Magnus could only classify as an eternity.

Lydia closed the portfolio and looked at them with an expression that Magnus couldn’t quite read, and he felt his stomach start to descend into a free fall as he considered every possibility that her passive features could mean.

“I will be submitting the home study for review first thing tomorrow,” Lydia explained as she slid her pen into her purse. “Along with my recommendation that the baby be placed with you. Once everything is reviewed and approved, we can further discuss our permanency initiative.”

Magnus felt Alec’s grasp tighten, and it was all Magnus could do to keep his face neutral instead of give in to the joy that spread through him, but he could feel the uncertainty in his stomach vanish and the cloud that seemed to have hung over their lives for almost a year suddenly dissipate.

“Lydia, you know from our application that I was also a foster child, so I understand the need for stability. Alec and I both have deeply personal motivations for making this her permanent home, and adoption has always been our intention,” Magnus spoke steadily as his pulse returned to normal.

Lydia smiled through pressed lips and nodded, tucking her hair behind her ear. “Then I’ll be in touch.”

Isabelle stepped forward and gestured toward the entryway, and Lydia fell into step beside her. Magnus couldn’t hear what they were discussing in low voices, but he assumed that it was all business.

Magnus turned to Alec and was met with Alec’s brilliant smile, the corners of his eyes crinkling, and Magnus could no longer hold back his own smile. The elation that had built inside of him at Lydia’s words burst forth and he found himself engulfed in Alec’s arms, his own arms winding tight around Alec’s back. Magnus felt the thrum of Alec’s heart against his own chest, Alec’s breath warm against his neck with every breath Alec took, each one growing deeper and shakier as Alec’s arms tightened around Magnus.

Magnus said nothing. Simply held Alec against him, understanding that through his euphoria, Alec was finally allowing himself to break down and heal all at once as he put every heartbreaking moment of the past several months behind him.

**

August turned to September, and with it came the heat of a lingering summer that wasn’t quite ready to surrender, and the crispness of the autumn that lurked just out of reach.

Magnus and Clary had been lucky enough to find an open table on the lawn at Bryant Park during the lunch hour. As they sat across from each other, Clary clipped half of her hair back to keep the slight wind from whipping it across her face, and Magnus leaned casually back in his chair.

“Are you and Alec doing anything for your anniversary?” Clary asked, draping her bag over the back of her chair.

Magnus adjusted his earcuff. “Honestly? We’ve been so preoccupied with everything for the baby that we haven’t planned anything.”

Clary’s phone vibrated on the table and she picked it up, flipping it over. “Jace says they’re almost here. I’m going to grab coffee and a sandwich. Do you want anything?” Clary asked as she looked at him over the rim of her sunglasses.

Magnus shook his head. “I’m good, Biscuit. I can wait until they get here.”

Clary flashed him a bright smile as she stood and hoisted her bag over her shoulder. As he waited, Magnus divided his attention between keeping an eye out for Alec and Jace and scrolling through his email, and while he would admit that checking his email as frequently as he had been over the past several days wasn’t going to magically make a message from either Isabelle or Lydia appear, he also couldn’t refrain from checking when he had a spare moment to, either.

Magnus set his phone face down on the table as he spotted Alec and Jace a short distance away, walking toward him, dressed in dark pants and dark t-shirts with the FDNY crest on the chest. Magnus slipped his sunglasses down his nose slightly, a wicked smirk decorating his face when Alec approached the table.

“What’s that look for?” Alec asked, his brow furrowing curiously.

“Just appreciating my man in uniform,” Magnus answered innocently.

“What about me?” Jace asked as he pulled out the chair next to Clary’s.

“Sorry, Chase. I’ve never had a thing for blonds, in or out of uniform.”

Alec rolled his eyes, heaving out an exasperated sigh. “You’re both impossible.”

Magnus turned his head up toward Alec as Alec leaned down to drop a small peck on his lips.

“The name thing, Magnus? Really?” Jace stood with his arms out to his sides.

“If he didn’t call you and Simon by the wrong name, you’d start thinking something was wrong with him,” Clary stated as she rejoined them, setting her sandwich and coffee on the table.

Jace was silent for a moment. “I can’t argue with that.”

“I’m glad that’s settled,” Magnus stood gracefully, sliding his phone into his back pocket and throwing a grin in Jace’s direction before starting toward the different food kiosks.

Lunch was casual and lighthearted as the four of them enjoyed the chance to catch up. Magnus crumpled up the paper his sandwich had been wrapped in and leaned back in his chair again when he was finished, his arm resting along the back of Alec’s. He glanced across the table at Clary and caught her watching him, a smile on her face.

“Do I have something in my teeth?” he asked, somewhat self-consciously.

“No,” Clary answered. “You two just seem happy again, like the weight of the world has been lifted off of your shoulders. It’s nice to see.”

Magnus scratched lightly at Alec’s back, between his shoulder blades, as a small grin curved up half of his mouth. There was no way that Clary could know how much truth her words held, how up until a week ago he and Alec had seemingly walked through every dark dimension of Hell, unsure that they would ever find their way back to the light.

“I still can’t believe you actually told Lydia that your secret for making it through conflict is date night.” Jace leaned forward, resting his arms on the table.

“That wasn’t exactly what we said.” Alec shook his head, wadding a napkin up in his hand.

“Though if you were to adopt that theory, you, too, may one day find yourself in a state of marital bliss,” Magnus teased. Clary instantly looked away, pretending to rifle through her bag, but it wasn’t before Magnus caught the glowing smile on her lips that she couldn’t quite seem to hide. Magnus raised his brow. “Something you want to share, Biscuit?”

Clary looked up, lips pressed together. “Funny text message?”

“Your phone is face down, on the table, and you haven’t touched it,” Alec pointed out.

Clary and Jace exchanged a glance before Clary announced, “I said yes.”

Magnus felt his jaw go slack and his hand stilled on Alec’s back as Alec leaned forward and rested his arms on the table. Magnus pulled off his sunglasses, squinting at the bight afternoon sun, an easy laugh escaping him. “Congratulations! How long ago?”

“A week ago. We didn’t want to tell you over the phone or text you, and we haven’t seen you both together until now,” Clary answered and Magnus looked between her and Jace and saw the adoration between the two of them, the gentle smiles they gave each other. It was the same way that Magnus had always looked at Alec.

“So, when’s the wedding?” Alec asked, his eyes crinkling as he grinned.

“Not for awhile,” Jace answered, draping his arm around Clary’s back.

Clary leaned into Jace and looked at Magnus. “I’m going to finish studying to be a P.A. so it’ll be after I’m done with that. I know myself enough to know I probably shouldn’t try to focus on studying and planning a wedding at the same time.”

“That is quite a lot to take on all at once.” Magnus glanced down as his phone buzzed in his pocket. He fished it out and unlocked it as Alec did the same beside him. Magnus pulled up his messages and tapped on the message Isabelle had just sent to both of them.

_Just heard from Lydia. Placement has been approved. She will bring Mia to you tomorrow afternoon._

Alec was already looking at him when Magnus looked up from the screen again. Magnus couldn’t keep the stunned expression off his face with the awareness that this was truly happening as Alec’s formed into a mix of complete joy and fondness.

“What is it?” Jace looked between the two of them.

Magnus’ face softened as he continued to meet Alec’s eyes. “Mia comes home tomorrow.”

**

Alec stood in the open doorway of Luke’s office and tapped his knuckles on the door to let Luke know he was there. Luke looked up from the file he was reviewing, an incident report from a call they’d responded to the night before.

“Lightwood.” Luke signed off on the report and closed the file, setting it on top of a stack of others that needed to be scanned in and catalogued. “What can I do for you?”

“I need to put in for time off tomorrow, Cap.” Alec stepped into the office and came to stand in front of Luke’s desk, hands clasped behind his back.

“At ease, Lightwood. Have a seat.”

Alec pulled out one of the chairs in front of Luke’s desk as he sat. He could feel Luke studying him, and Alec could see the silent question on Luke’s normally steady face: _you know it’s Labor Day weekend, right?_

Alec cleared his throat. “Do you remember the baby girl I delivered about five weeks ago?” Alec looked at Luke and Luke nodded, steepling his fingers in front of him as he leaned back in his chair. “You know that Magnus and I have been going through the process of becoming foster parents so that we can eventually adopt her. We were just notified over lunch that our application has been approved. Our caseworker is bringing her home tomorrow afternoon. And I know the timing isn’t the best, with the long weekend coming up, so I can be back on Saturday.”

Luke laughed suddenly, and Alec’s eyes widened slightly in surprise. He wasn’t sure what he had been expecting Luke’s reaction to be, but that certainly hadn’t been it.

“I admire your dedication, Lightwood. Always have.” Luke sat straight in his chair again, and opened a drawer in his desk. When he looked at Alec again, his face carried none of the amusement it had just a moment ago, but instead a seriousness that Alec hadn’t seen before, even during the most dangerous of emergency calls. “But I don’t want to see you around the firehouse for at least the next two weeks.”

“Sir?”

Luke set a piece of paper on his desk and reached for his pen. “No training, no catching up on paperwork, none of that. The only reason I want to see you here during that time is to show off that baby.”

Luke’s face slowly broke into a grin, and Alec didn’t realize he’d been holding his breath until he exhaled it slowly. He breathed out a light laugh as he eased back against the chair. “I can take the time after this weekend.”

“It’s an order, not a negotiation. Your life is about to be turned upside down in the best way possible. You need the time to adjust. We’ll survive without you for a few days.”

Luke slid the paper across to Alec and Alec read over it. “You’ve got today as the start of my time off.”

Luke leaned back in his chair again and nodded. “Take the rest of the day to do what you need to do to get ready for tomorrow. It’s also the last night you and Magnus will be just you and Magnus. So enjoy it.”

Alec had worked with Luke for long enough that he knew when he could keep pushing a topic and when to let one go. Alec understood that Luke wasn’t looking at this situation from a captain’s perspective, but rather from a father’s. Despite not being Clary’s biological father, Alec knew that Luke had loved her and had helped raise her as though he had been, and had continued to long after things had ended with Jocelyn. Alec signed off on the leave of absence form without further protest and slid it back across the desk to Luke.

“We’ll discuss you studying for the EMT certification when you come back.” Luke looked at Alec pointedly as Alec stood.

Alec paused for a second before nodding as he recalled Magnus’ assertion that they would find a way to make it work, even with a new baby. “Yes, sir.”

Alec was almost to the door when Luke’s voice stopped him again.

“She won’t be little forever, Alec. Enjoy the milestones and big moments, but cherish the little, ordinary moments just the same, because you can’t get them back later.”

Alec’s throat tightened around a growing knot as he considered what Luke was saying. There were already five weeks’ worth of moments that they had missed, moments that they would never get back. That they couldn’t recreate. Alec nodded slowly as he pressed his lips together.

“We’ll see you and Cat this weekend?”

Luke laughed gently. “Maybe. I imagine your brood of siblings and their significant others will wear you and Magnus out.”

Alec laughed knowingly. “You’re both just as much our family as they are, and Mia may as well get used to our family insanity sooner rather than later.”

Luke gave Alec a single nod. “Then we’ll find time to come by.”

Alec nodded with a grin as he left the office to collect his things from his locker, every step buoyed by weightlessness as he made his way through the halls.

**

Magnus shut the door of the Uber he’d taken home from the office and began walking briskly toward the building’s entrance, because jogging was just undignified. His staff had managed to reschedule most of his appointments for the day, and for the following week, but there had been a handful in the morning that couldn’t be moved. Not that Magnus had truly minded. He had long subscribed to the ideology that if he had pursued a career that he could love, he would never truly work a day in his life, and most days the hours he spent with his patients flew by. Today, however, every clock in his office had taunted him, as though the seconds were ticking away in a much slower fashion.

Magnus stepped inside the apartment and closed the door behind him with a gentle click. He glanced down and saw the black bag that he remembered from Lydia’s last visit sitting beside the door, and the sinking feeling of disappointment that he hadn’t been home when she arrived slid through him.

He could hear the sounds of voices from the living room and followed them, rolling the sleeves of his dress shirt up as he went. Alec stood beside Lydia, his face set as he concentrated on the file in Lydia’s hand, one hand resting on the handle of the baby carrier that sat on the coffee table.

“We issued her birth certificate with Mia as her given name, but with her mother’s last name,” Lydia explained and Alec nodded. “Since you’re planning to adopt, the last name will be changed once that’s finalized.”

Magnus waited until Lydia paused to shuffle through more papers. “Sorry I’m late. Traffic was unforgiving.”

Alec and Lydia looked up at him when he spoke, and Alec’s face lit up with a bright smile as Magnus stepped closer to them and stood at Alec’s side.

“I honestly got here not long before you did,” Lydia answered with a gentle smile that Magnus returned with a nod as relief washed over him.

Magnus glanced down at the carrier, taking in Mia’s peaceful face as she slept, the soft curves of her cheeks that were starting to fill out, long eyelashes fluttering against them, as her tiny fist curled around the light blanket that covered her.

She was perfect.

Magnus felt a pull at his chest as he slowly inhaled a deep breath, only partially listening as Lydia went through Mia’s medical records with Alec. He would look over the file later, but was able to gather that Mia was meeting all of her growth milestones and wasn’t showing any signs of developmental delays.

“Is there anything else that we need to know?” Alec asked and Magnus found his focus snapped back to the conversation with Lydia.

Lydia’s lips spread into a smile. “No, I think we’ve covered everything.”

Alec crouched down and reached into Mia’s carrier, and Mia twitched with a small gurgle of protest as Alec undid the safety straps that held her in.

Magnus watched as Alec lifted Mia out of her carrier and stood straight again, his already bright smile becoming blinding as he held her once more, and Magnus wasn’t sure that he could have fallen any deeper in love with Alec as he did at that moment. Magnus fully expected Alec to keep her close to him, but instead Alec just kissed her cheek as he turned to Magnus and set her carefully in Magnus’ arms.

Magnus looked down at her again as he cradled her, and this time her eyes were open, big and bright and curious as she stared up at him. Magnus didn’t know where it came from, or if it had always been there, waiting to bloom, but he was suddenly overwhelmed with a love for her—his daughter—that was more intense and more _powerful_ than he had ever thought it could be. It was the type of love that was completely unselfish, and Magnus knew that he would give her every star that hung in the night sky without question, only to return the following night to try and capture the moon. He would give his life to protect hers, and would unleash all of the powers of Hell against anyone who dared hurt her.

“Hi, pumpkin,” Magnus whispered, no longer able to hold back a smile as he felt Alec at his side. He leaned into the solidness of Alec’s chest as Alec’s arm slid around his shoulders, and Magnus was overwhelmed with a full heart again with the realization that they were finally a family.

Mia sneezed, breaking the moment, and Magnus breathed out a soft laugh as he felt Alec’s lips press a light kiss to his temple before he moved away to show Lydia out.

**

“I don’t think Chairman knows what to make of her,” Alec commented as he sat on the couch, long legs stretched out in front of him, feet resting on the empty surface of the coffee table as the sun disappeared outside their window behind the Brooklyn skyline. Mia was tucked into the crook of his arm, happily working her way through a bottle, while The Chairman lay curled up on the arm of the chair in the far corner of the room.

Magnus reluctantly looked away from Alec, tucking the image of the way he held Mia so carefully and surely in his arms, as though it was just a natural occurrence for Alec, into his memory. Magnus fixed his gaze on The Chairman for a moment as the tabby’s tail curled and uncurled along the arm of the chair, and his golden green eyes stared, fixated, on the spot where Alec sat.

“I can’t tell if he’s curious about Mia but hoping she’s not permanent, or if he’s jealous of the attention you’re giving her, Alexander,” Magnus teased lightly as his mouth curled up into a smirk.

Alec barked out a laugh that sounded to Magnus as though a cat being jealous of a baby was the most ridiculous concept ever created. “Cats don’t get jealous.”

“Au contraire,” Magnus countered, holding up a finger. Alec took the empty bottle from Mia and tucked it between his leg and the arm of the couch as he shifted Mia to rest against his shoulder, lightly patting her back. Magnus continued, “Pet jealousy is quite common when a new baby is introduced. They feel as though this new tiny person is a territorial threat.”

“Great. Now I’ll also lose sleep over the thought of the cat suffocating our daughter in her sleep,” Alec deadpanned as he turned his head toward Magnus.

Magnus laughed gently. “It’s only in a handful of cases that the pet in question doesn’t get used to their new tiny human friend. Give The Chairman some time and he’ll be fine. Besides, we have that sensor under her mattress that sets off an alarm if it doesn’t detect a breath or heartbeat for thirty seconds, so we’ll know if something isn’t right.” Magnus rested his head against his closed fist, a content smile taking over his face and a tranquil warmth filling him from his heart outward, as he watched Mia’s eyes flutter closed. “And speaking of tiny humans, ours is asleep.”

Alec checked his watch before setting his hand against Mia’s back once more. “We should probably put her to bed for the night.”

Magnus turned his head at the knock that filtered through the entire apartment and looked back at Alec. “I have a feeling you should hold off on that thought.”

“I don’t want her to get off schedule, though.”

“She’ll be fine for one night.” Magnus grinned reassuringly and brushed his finger gently against Mia’s cheek as he stood. He leaned down and pecked Alec’s lips lightly before walking away.

Magnus pulled the door open, eyes widening at the sight of Jace, Clary, Simon, Isabelle, and Max all standing together in the hallway. He and Alec had been prepared to see each of them tonight, though Magnus hadn’t expected all of them to arrive at the same time.

“Oh thank God,” Max huffed dramatically as he pushed his way into the apartment. “I need space. The Uber ride over here got incestuous real quick. I still don’t know how I ended up on Jace’s lap. Especially because I called shotgun.”

“I didn’t hear you call shotgun!” Simon exclaimed, adjusting his glasses on his nose, and the exasperation in his tone gave Magnus the impression that it wasn’t the first time Simon had uttered those words that evening.

“I’m the only one who didn’t have a wife or a fiancé in the car. Rules of life say you give shotgun to the single dude. Just sayin’,” Max tossed back Simon’s way as he kicked off his shoes and left them on the mat beside the door.

“I’m pretty sure that entire ride was illegal.” Jace’s tone was nonchalant as he stepped into the apartment and shrugged off his leather jacket.

“No one wanted to listen to me when I said we should take two Ubers.” Isabelle shook her head.

Magnus pinched the bridge of his nose.

“The first person who wakes Mia up will be on diaper duty until she’s potty trained, which could be anywhere from two to four years from now, depending on when she starts preschool,” he said evenly with a quiet, dangerous calm that personified the expression still waters run deep.

Max, Jace, Simon, and Isabelle went silent, standing rooted to the spot.

Clary stepped forward and held up the bags she carried in her hands. “We brought dinner. I hope you’re in the mood for Greek.”

Magnus’ face softened at the gesture as he stepped forward to shut the door and secured the lock. The afternoon hadn’t been particularly busy. It had been normal in a way that Magnus hadn’t expected as he and Alec had fallen into getting Mia settled, and yet neither of them had thought about what they should do for dinner. “Thank you, Biscuit. It’s much appreciated.”

“I’ll get dishes.” Jace offered Magnus a thoughtful grin that Magnus returned as Jace clapped him on the shoulder and turned toward the kitchen.

Max was at the head of the procession into the living room, with Magnus trailing at the rear. He stopped slowly as he took in the sight of Alec, stretched out with his feet still propped on the coffee table, Mia asleep on his chest now. Alec’s face was drawn into a serene smile as he tilted his head down to glance at her. It tugged at Magnus’ heart, filling it so full that Magnus feared it might pop.

“This whole fatherhood thing suits you, Alec,” Simon observed as he dropped down into the armchair that The Chairman had previously occupied.

Magnus grinned in silent agreement as he folded his arms across his stomach. Alec was built to lead. He was built to command. He was built to be successful at everything he did because he would stop at nothing in the pursuit of perfection. But more than all of that, Alec had such a tremendous capacity for love, and for sharing that love with those around him. And he loved with everything he had. All or nothing. There was no middle ground. It made fatherhood seem like a calling for Alec more than a path that he and Magnus had consciously chosen to walk together.

“If you’re going to fight over her, then no one gets to hold her,” Alec said calmly, his voice cutting through Magnus’ thoughts and pulling him back to the present. He noticed that although Alec was still leaning back against the couch, his feet were planted firmly on the floor.

Jace had joined them from the kitchen and had set the plates around the coffee table as Clary unpacked takeout containers from the bags she had carried in.

“Hey, I’m cool. I will have plenty of chances to hold her,” Jace said sensibly.

“Same here.” Simon nodded in agreement. “Ladies first.”

Max hoisted himself up from where he had been sitting on the floor. “Anyone want something to drink?”

The answers were mixed as Max disappeared into the kitchen. Alec scooted toward the edge of the couch as he looked between Isabelle and Clary, and Clary inclined her head toward Isabelle with a silent smile.

It seemed fitting to Magnus. Isabelle had been their first call when they had agreed that they were ready to have a family. After him and Alec, Isabelle had been the first to know that everything had fallen through with their last adoption. And Isabelle had walked with them through every painfully agonizing step to get to this moment now. She had been Alec’s strength when Magnus had been too broken to give Alec his, but had made sure that she was just as strong for Magnus when Alec couldn’t be.

As Alec set Mia in Isabelle’s arms, Magnus knew that he would be proud if Mia grew up to have Alec’s loyalty and ability to love without restraint; Isabelle’s fearless independence, pursuit of justice, and never-ending strength; Clary’s penchant for compassion and creativity; Simon and Ragnor’s thirst for knowledge; Jace’s self-confidence; Max’s dry wit and ability to find humor in every situation; Catarina’s tendency to nurture; and Luke’s leadership.

“Damn, she’s even more adorable from this angle.” Max stopped behind Isabelle, bottles of beer clamped between his fingers, and glanced over his sister’s shoulder.

Alec beamed as he caught Magnus’ eye and dropped back onto the couch. Magnus uncrossed his arms as he bridged the small distance from where he stood to settle into the spot beside Alec, nestling in close, and Magnus was hit with a wave of emotion as he basked in the laughter and the love and the people that filled his living room as he reflected on his own childhood and his own pursuit of family.

He had come to this country with nothing and no one. He had built his family piece by piece. Ragnor first. Then Catarina. Will, Jem, and Tessa. Raphael. Luke, Clary, and Simon.

Alec.

And with Alec had come more family than Magnus knew what to do with. Jace. Isabelle. Max. But they had become his just as much as he had become theirs.

Mia.

Magnus closed his eyes and turned his head into the crook of Alec’s neck, breathing Alec in. Grounding himself the way he always had in Alec’s steadfastness. Magnus knew that their family was in no way complete. It would continue to expand and grow not just with the children he and Alec would adopt, but that Simon and Isabelle, Jace and Clary, and maybe even Max and whomever he settled down with, would one day have. It was more than Magnus believed he was worthy of. More than he had ever dared hope for.

But it was his.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did look for a photo of the Build A Bear sparkly pink unicorn, but, alas, it seems that it was a limited edition for the 2016 holiday season and isn't available any longer. But I assure you, it was lovely.
> 
> You know where to yell at me. [tumblr](http://magicandarchery.tumblr.com) or [twitter](https://twitter.com/magicandarchery)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Magnus and Alec settle in to build their family

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, thank you for being patient between updates. I know it's been a hella long time, and for that I'm sorry. I had to step back to take care of a few things personally in the months between the last update and now. 
> 
> Second, this chapter absolutely would not have been possible without Sam. Thank you for keeping me from giving up, and thank you for cheering me on towards the finish line. 
> 
> Third, shouts out to my betas, Sam and Jackie, for their help in making this chapter what it is. And extra thanks to Jackie for the Spanish help. 
> 
> Fourth: For my readers who aren't comfortable with smut, totally fine. You can go from the end of the date night scene directly to the beginning of the final scene. 
> 
> Finally: Are we ready for a full 18 minutes of Malec in 3x02 tonight??? I know I am. So in preparation for that, let's enjoy some self indulgent domestic Malec-as-Dads, shall we? 
> 
> Reading on twitter? Tag me (@magicandarchery) and/or use the hashtag #ATSfic.

_“I didn’t give you the gift of life,_

_life gave me the gift of_ you _.”_

_-Unknown_

 

**

 

It was like landing on a cloud as Magnus fell back into the mattress, huffing out a deep breath of exhaustion. He reached up to turn off the light and pulled the blankets up over him, finally culminating a day that hadn't seemed to want to end. Work had been more taxing on his nerves than normal, then Mia had fussed a majority of the night, despite Tessa’s ravings that she’d been an absolute angel since Alec had dropped her off earlier in the day. He had tried to put her down for bed at her normal time so he could clean up the dinner dishes, but Mia had refused to sleep without being rocked. Magnus had been too exhausted by the time Mia had fallen asleep that he’d resolved to clean everything up in the morning.

Through the veil of his exhaustion, Magnus realized there may be something to the baby wearing trend Alec had taken to in the weeks since Mia had come home. It would let Magnus keep Mia close while allowing him to do the things he needed to get done. He made a mental note to discuss it with Alec later.

Magnus turned onto his side and took in Alec’s side of the bed—cold and empty for the first time in two weeks. With a sigh, he pulled Alec’s pillow toward him, inhaling Alec’s familiar scent as he closed his eyes and prepared for a night of restless sleep over Alec’s absence and tending to Mia when she woke.

_Gray smoke swirled thickly around him as Magnus wandered aimlessly. He was aware that he needed to find something—or maybe it was someone, he wasn't certain. A shadow in the distance wandered into view ahead of him and Magnus turned to follow where the figure—tall and lean, but solid, so very similar to the way Alec was built—led him._

_A buzz that strangely reminded Magnus of a fire alarm sounded in the distance and the shadowy figure changed course suddenly, tracking toward the alarm. His heart racing, Magnus followed, frantically keeping pace with the figure as it moved swiftly in one direction and then another, the alarm growing more shrill and insistent the closer Magnus seemed to get._

_The figure pulled up abruptly and when he turned Magnus saw Alec in full turnout gear, his face veiled in sweat and smeared with black ash, and his voice was distant as he uttered a single word._

_“Mia.”_

Magnus’ eyes slammed open and he sat upright, blinking as his vision adjusted to the darkness that surrounded him. The haze of sleep quickly lifted as the screech of an alarm growing louder and more urgent pierced his ears. It wasn't the fire alarm, because Alec tested it every few months and Magnus was familiar with how it sounded.

Which could only mean….

Throwing the blankets back, Magnus jolted out of bed and sprinted down the hallway to the nursery with thunderous footfalls that matched every beat of his racing heart as adrenaline flowed freely through his veins.

This wasn't— _couldn't be_ —happening again.

Magnus flipped on the light and came to a stop beside the crib, holding his breath as he looked down at Mia, ready to begin life saving measures. He had already lost Sarah. He wasn't going to lose Mia—his own baby girl—too.

He couldn’t.

He stopped short as he reached into the crib, realizing that Mia wasn’t laying in the center of it—directly over the heartbeat and breath monitor—like she had been when he had put her to bed. Instead, she had managed to scoot herself to the end of the crib, sleeping soundly with both arms above her head and her tiny hands curled into fists, despite the mattress sensor’s alarm still trilling through the apartment. Knitting his brow together, Magnus held his hand near her face, feeling the soft air of baby’s breath on his skin as he watched her mouth twitch into a tiny grin that was gone in the blink of an eye.

Magnus wasn’t sure that he had ever exhaled harder than he did in that moment as waves of relief washed over him. He reached over to disable the alarm and turned to carefully lift Mia out of the crib. Disturbing a sleeping baby went against everything he believed. _Let them sleep_ , he preached to new parents. But he needed to hold her, to feel every breath she took, and reassure himself that everything was fine—that _Mia_ was fine.

Mia startled as Magnus lifted her into his arms, letting her displeasure be known with tiny fussy cries as she curled her legs up.

“I know, Pumpkin, but you shouldn't scare me like that.” Magnus pressed a kiss to her cheek, resting his hand on her back as he settled her against his shoulder.

He closed his eyes and swayed slowly, inhaling deeply with every breath Mia took. The powdery sweet smell of her skin sent a second wave of calm through him until his initial panic had almost dissipated. With each passing moment, his heartbeat steadied and each breath he took grew slower. Magnus pulled back to look down at Mia, his mouth tugging up into a gentle grin at her angelic face once again peaceful in sleep. Magnus nuzzled his cheek against her forehead and with a reluctant sigh, settled Mia back in her crib.

“Sweet dreams, Pumpkin.”

Magnus’ hand trembled as he flipped off the light and ambled through the hall back to the bedroom. Remnants of adrenaline still flowed through his veins and his heart skipped a beat. Back and forth he paced beside the bed, balling his hands into loose fists and closing his eyes as he forced himself to breathe just as deeply as he had with Mia in his arms. It was all that was keeping him steady.

Tonight, everything was fine. Mia was fine.

Magnus tried not to let the notion of _what if it wasn’t_ infiltrate his thoughts. He had already allowed it to consume him at work.

Scrubbing his hands over his face, Magnus settled on the edge of the bed and turned on the light while reaching for his phone on the bedside table, completely disregarding the time as he pulled up FaceTime and dialed Alec. A moment later Alec’s face was on his screen smiling tiredly back at him.

“Do you have _ANY IDEA_ what your daughter just did!” Magnus exclaimed before Alec could even utter a hello.

Alec’s face fell, brows furrowing together. “What happened? Is she okay?”

It was as though a switch had been flipped, putting Alec on high alert and sending his protective instincts into overdrive. It was only then that Magnus noticed Alec’s damp hair and the way he seemed to have frozen in the middle of putting a shirt on. Under any other circumstance, Magnus would have teased Alec about not getting dressed on his account. Even now the thought crossed his mind, but Magnus simply sighed and ran his hand through his hair as the urge passed.

“She’s fine,” Magnus answered. Alec reanimated and tugged on his shirt. “She scooted herself off the mattress sensor. The alarm works spectacularly and gave me a heart attack that I’m too young to be having.”

Alec’s shoulders shook with gentle laughter, though Magnus found nothing to be amused with in the situation. “I’m glad you and Mia find my suffering amusing, Alexander.”

Alec clamped his lips together in an attempt to hold back his laughter. “I’m sorry. You’re right. Are you okay?”

 _What if it wasn’t okay?_ flitted through Magnus’ thoughts again and he found his head shaking before he could voice his answer. “No. I'm not okay.”

How many times had he sat in his office and given a parent the news that their child’s tests and blood work hadn't come back normal, and then referred them to a pediatric specialist to treat them because they required more specialized care? How many times had he seen the same fear and worry that now filled him ghost over their faces?

“I had to refer two patients to a pediatric oncologist today. As the first patient was leaving, his father turned and asked if I had children. I told him I had a foster daughter. Now I can’t get the thought out of my head of it being us in that situation with Mia. The alarm going off tonight, and the possibility that Mia might not be all right, brought those thoughts back and I can’t shake them.”

“Magnus.” Alec raked his fingers through his hair, trying to tame it. He paused as though he was trying to find the right thing to say. Magnus wasn’t sure there was anything Alec could say.

“It’s every parent’s greatest fear to have something happen to their child, and more often than I want, I have to tell parents that fear is a reality. How do I reconcile what I have to do with that fear always tugging at the back of my mind, Alexander? How do I look at parents and not see us on the other side of that conversation?” Magnus searched Alec’s face on the screen, watching as Alec’s chest expanded with a deep inhale. He seemed just as lost for an answer as Magnus was.

“Maybe you can’t,” Alec croaked after several long moments of silence. “Maybe all you can do is realize that those parents love their child as much as you and I love Mia, and they would do everything they could to make them well, just as we would in that situation. I’d like to think that empathy would count for something on both sides.”

As was often the case, Alec’s answer provided Magnus a new lens to look through. Magnus didn’t have to reconcile the unpleasant side of his profession with the personal emotions and fears that came with fatherhood. Instead of detaching himself and putting up an emotional barrier, Magnus could tap into every fear _and_ the overwhelming power of the love he had for Mia to remind not only his patients, but himself as well, that healing was a one-step-at-a-time, one-day-at-a-time journey that didn’t have to be embarked on alone.

Calm settled over Magnus like a warm, cozy blanket and he let out a heavy breath to ease the tightness in his chest. “Thank you for not telling me what you thought I wanted to hear.”

“That does no one any good.” The tired smile returned to Alec’s face. “Are you okay now?”

“I’m better.”

“Better enough to sleep?”

“Not until you come home.”

Alec laughed gently. “Goodnight, Magnus.”

“Goodnight, Alexander.”

Magnus set his phone back on the nightstand as the call disconnected and turned out the light. A long, slow breath escaped him as he laid back and pulled Alec’s pillow into his chest and closed his eyes.

**

Alec sat perched on the bathroom counter and pushed the sleeves of his silver-gray shirt up over his forearms as Magnus swiped lip balm over his bottom lip. Theme costumes had been their thing ever since they had started dating, though Alec had somehow managed to avoid wearing makeup as part of his before. But, when the theme was _The Wizard of Oz_ and Magnus had deemed that Alec would be the Tin Man, it was unavoidable.

“So why is the lip balm necessary?” Alec asked as Magnus reached for a sponge and a container of silver-gray face makeup.

Magnus paused and looked at Alec as if to say _really, Alexander?_ “It’ll keep your lips from drying out under the makeup.”

Alec nodded once as Magnus began to dab the foundation along Alec’s forehead and the bridge of his nose. Exhaling, Alec’s shoulders eased, and he glanced out of the corner of his eye at Mia, napping peacefully in her bouncy seat on the counter beside him. Without realizing it, his head had turned to follow his gaze.

Magnus cupped his chin and gently turned Alec back toward him. “Hold still.”

“Sorry,” Alec grinned, nose twitching as Magnus passed the sponge over it. “So, remind me why you chose to be Dorothy over Mia?”

“One, I couldn’t find a Dorothy costume in an infant size, and two, Mia is far too young to appreciate shoes made entirely of red glitter.”

Alec circled his legs around the back of Magnus’, locking them at the ankles. “I suppose that’s valid. Though you could have always gone as the Scarecrow.”

Magnus looked at Alec as though what he had said was absolutely blasphemous, causing Alec to laugh lightly and lean in to peck Magnus’ lips.

Alec closed his eyes as Magnus worked the sponge over his eyelids. “Next year we should do Mike, Sully, and Boo costumes.” Alec opened his eyes and took in the perplexed expression on Magnus’ face. “ _Monsters Inc._ It was Max’s favorite movie when he was little.”

“Ah,” Magnus grinned, “I can’t say I’ve seen that.”

“Don’t let Max find out.” Alec teased.

Magnus finished off applying Alec’s makeup with swipe of silver-gray lipstick before draping an old, ratty towel around Alec’s shoulders and spraying silver color into his hair, careful to keep it out of Alec’s face and away from Mia.

Magnus stood back to look over his work and grinned. “Perfection.”

Alec stared wide-eyed at himself in the mirror, tempted to reach up and run his fingers through his hair. The look of satisfaction on Magnus’ face behind him, however, kept him from doing just that. Looking to his right, Alec saw Mia slowly peek her eyes open and look at him as her face turned red and twisted into a grimace. Quicker than the blink of an eye, Mia had erupted into a wailing cry.

Alec knew she was likely hungry or needed to be changed as he lifted Mia out of her seat, but he also couldn’t be entirely sure that the makeup on his face hadn’t scared her. He turned his head to Magnus, pouting. “I think she hates my face.”

“I love your face,” Magnus reassured Alec while Alec circled his hand along Mia’s back.

Alec couldn’t help the soft chuckle that escaped him, and was thankful that the makeup hid the blush he felt creeping up his cheeks at Magnus’ comment. Without a second thought, Alec leaned forward and pressed a kiss onto Magnus’ temple. “I’ll go get her a bottle while you put your face on.”

** 

The chatter around him was steady as Alec stood on one side of the living room with Mia tucked into the crook of his arm. He raised the beer he held to his lips, pausing and shaking the bottle in dismay at the realization it was empty.

“You want another?” Jace asked. “I need another myself.”

Alec considered it. He’d found himself surrounded ever since their friends and neighbors had begun arriving, all of them taking the opportunity to shower Mia with attention and gush over how adorable she was in her lion costume. There had been no time to actually fix a plate of food for himself, and the effects of the alcohol were taking hold quicker on an empty stomach.

“I’m good for the time being,” Alec answered. Jace walked away with a nod of his head.

As Alec looked around, he caught sight of Magnus, working his way effortlessly around the room, almost as though he was floating from one cloud to another. His mouth tugged up into a grin as he reflected on just how much had happened over the last year. A failed adoption. A marriage broken but mended. A baby girl Alec knew they may not have if the events of the last year hadn’t happened.

“Pray tell,” said a voice on Alec’s other side, interrupting his thoughts. Alec turned his head to find Ragnor dressed in full Sherlock Holmes regalia. “How did your dear husband end up being Dorothy over this darling angel?”

Alec glanced down at Mia—who seemed fixated on the pipe Ragnor held in one hand—and grinned before looking at Ragnor again. “Something about red glitter shoes and who would appreciate them most.”

“Ah, yes. I should have guessed.” Ragnor sipped at his bourbon slowly. He gestured across the room and Alec followed. “That Jon Snow costume is superb.”

Alec just grinned as he shook his head. “Max has been putting that together for months with the help of a friend who is into cosplay or something like that.” He pointed to a lovely young woman standing near Max. “Somehow he talked his friend Aline into being Daenerys.”

“What, exactly, is cosplay?” Ragnor tipped his head slightly.

“You dress up as a character from a movie or show or whatever. Or at least that’s what Han Solo over there told me.” Alec pointed over to where Simon was standing in the center of a group of kids that lived in the building—a skeleton, Spiderman, a baseball player, and a pair of Ninja Turtles—as they transformed him into a toilet paper mummy. Alec laughed lightly, adjusting his hold on Mia. “He’s a really big kid at heart.”

Drawn to wherever Magnus was, Alec scanned the spider web-draped room again and found him chatting easily around a smoking cauldron with Luke and Catarina, who had come disguised as a pair of dice.

“Okay, so, I got you a little bit of everything that didn’t look picked over,” Jace said, coming up on Alec’s side. “We have jalapeño mummies, breadstick bones, pizza skulls, devil wings, and spider cookies.”

“You’re a lifesaver,” Alec said as he took the offered plate, forever grateful for Jace’s inherent sense of knowing what he needed without Alec having to say it. Now he just had to find a way to balance food, Mia, and the empty bottle he still held in his hand.

“Didn’t you dress as Captain America last year as well?” Ragnor asked Jace with a note of amusement in his tone.

“Yeah. It started years ago as a joke between Simon and I,” Jace chuckled. “Have we never told you this story?”

“No, I’m afraid you haven’t,” Ragnor answered solemnly, raising his drink to his lips again.

The look Alec flashed Jace was pointed. “If you’re going to tell the story, do you want to take Mia for a minute?”

“I will, just give me two seconds. I gotta give Clary her drink,” Jace answered as he started backing away.

“You could always take her with you,” Alec called after Jace, shoulders dropping as he turned to Ragnor with pleading eyes.

“No,” Ragnor shook his head.

Alec heaved an exasperated sigh as Magnus floated over to them, Isabelle following after him.

“I can’t believe you don’t want to hold my baby.” Magnus deadpanned.

“I don’t want to hold anyone’s baby, my tornado traveling friend. It’s nothing personal.”

“I’ll take her,” Isabelle gleefully reached for Mia, pressing her cheek against Mia’s forehead as she nestled Mia cozily against her chest. Alec took full advantage of having a free hand and began attacking his plate.

A roguish grin spread across Ragnor’s face. “Did the Scarecrow costume not come with enough sparkle?”

Magnus made a show of looking around the room for Raphael. “Where is Watson and why is he letting you roam around freely?”

“Raphael doesn’t do theme costumes, you know that. He came as a bloody vampire again.”

“Vampires _are_ bloody,” Magnus grinned smugly, seemingly happy to have gotten in the last word. “I take it your lecture circuit went well?”

“Indeed.” Ragnor affirmed.

While Ragnor filled Magnus in on the details of his recently completed lecture series, Alec shook his head in silent laughter at how quickly they could go from exchanging barbs to discussing the mundane. It reminded him of the ways he interacted with Isabelle, Jace, and Max.

As Isabelle passed through his thoughts, Alec turned his attention to her. Isabelle had always thrived at parties, moving from one group of people to another without ever losing her warm, charming smile or letting the conversation die out.

Tonight was different.

Alec had sensed that Isabelle wasn’t quite herself as soon as she and Simon had arrived. Her guard had been raised, though Alec had no hint as to why. He had dismissed it earlier, choosing to let Isabelle come to him with whatever might be bothering her. But as Alec watched her now—how she held Mia a little tighter than usual, her lips pressed to Mia’s temple, eyes closed—he was filled with the sense that Isabelle was holding back in an effort to protect those she loved from a storm that loomed on the horizon.

A storm that Alec’s instincts told him centered around Mia somehow.

Alec slid his arm around Isabelle, drawing her in, and felt her melt against his side the way she always had when they were little—a silent acknowledgement that she needed him to help her conquer the world.

“You’re quiet tonight,” Alec leaned down toward Isabelle’s ear. “What’s up?”

Mia lifted her head off of Isabelle’s shoulder at Alec’s voice and Isabelle smiled.

“Is that daddy?” she cooed and pressed a kiss to Mia’s temple once more as Alec brushed the back of his finger over Mia’s cheek. Isabelle raised her head to look at Alec. “We’ll talk after the party.”

“We can find somewhere quiet to talk now.” Alec gently squeezed his sister’s shoulder.

“No,” Isabelle shook her head, and the firmness of her gaze kept Alec from pushing the subject further. “It’s better to wait until everyone leaves.”

“Is everything okay?” Magnus interjected cautiously, stepping in closer to them. Lifting his gaze, Alec saw that Ragnor had drifted away, presumably in search of Raphael.

“That’s for Alec to decide.”

The sinking sensation in Alec’s core gave him the sense that everything was far from okay.

** 

The kitchen wasn’t nearly the disaster that Alec had imagined it would be as he surveyed the damage. The most time-consuming task he faced was packing up the uneaten food and figuring out how to fit it all into the fridge. Pushing up the sleeves of his shirt, Alec reached for a bottle off the drying rack beside the sink and mixed water in with Mia’s formula for her bedtime feeding.

Dull footsteps caught his attention as he set the bottle in the warmer. Isabelle joined him in the kitchen and started to pull storage containers and baggies from under the counter. She had changed from Princess Leia’s trademark white dress into black leggings and an oversized sweater and had let her hair down from the buns it had been twisted into not long before. Only her silence as she started packing up food would have tipped Alec off that something was bothering her if he hadn’t pressed her earlier.

“I’m going to put Mia to bed. Is her bottle ready?”

Alec turned his attention away from analyzing Isabelle to Magnus as he wandered into the kitchen, cradling a sleeping Mia in his arms. Alec took the bottle from the warmer and bridged the small distance between them, offering it to Magnus.

Alec leaned down and kissed Mia gently on the forehead. “Sleep tight, baby girl.”

He kissed Magnus and turned back into the kitchen, only to be met by Isabelle’s gentle grin. Alec returned the grin. “What?”

“Nothing,” Isabelle tucked her hair behind her ear as she shook her head carefully. “I’m impressed Mia slept through as much noise as she did.”

“She’s pretty adaptable,” Alec shrugged, recognizing Isabelle’s comment as the diversion it was meant to be. “So, what’s going on?”

“I should have known you would jump right into it.” Isabelle sighed. “It’s Mia.”

Alec had been prepared for her answer, but it still didn’t stop his chest from tightening as though his lungs were being deprived of air. He stood to his full height and shook his head. “Izzy, whatever ACS or Lydia needs, we’ll get it for them. Unless a relative came forward that hadn’t before….”

“It’s not Lydia or ACS, and there’s still no next of kin.” Isabelle turned toward him and leaned against the counter’s edge. “It’s mom and dad. They know about Mia, and it’s my fault.”

For a moment, Alec forgot about his racing heartbeat. “What? Mom and dad— How?”

Isabelle wrapped her arms around herself, as though bracing for an explosion. Alec couldn’t bear seeing her like that and hated even more that she was bracing for an explosion from _him_.

“I posted a picture Simon took of Mia and me on Facebook. You can’t see Mia’s face in the picture, and all I captioned it as was _mi corazon_. I don’t know how they saw it, except through maybe a friend of a friend, but mom started reaching out to me for information.” Isabelle held herself tighter and dropped her gaze to her feet. Alec leaned against the counter and crossed his arms as he waited for her to continue. “I didn’t respond to any of her emails, text messages, or voicemails, but then I ran into her at the courthouse the other day, because it seems that one of my firm’s cases is now linked to a criminal case she’s prosecuting, and she was meeting with everyone involved in it. Alec, you know I would never— Not since— But she started firing off all these questions and— I’m sorry.”

Alec took a step forward and pulled Isabelle into him. “It’s not your fault, Iz. You don’t become the district attorney for Manhattan unless you know how to break a witness under cross examination.”

“That just makes me more upset because I know how she is and I still let her get to me.”

“It happens to the best of us.” Alec chuckled as Isabelle tightened her hold on him and he, in turn, squeezed her tighter to him. “You remember what mom said when I came out?”

“You’ll never see any of your ambitions lead to success because your _chosen_ _lifestyle_ will hold you back, you’ll realize it’s just a phase, and you’re not our son anymore were just some of the highlights I remember.”

“Ouch.” Alec grimaced, leaning back to look down at her, though the grimace quickly softened to fondness. “Izzy, I didn’t come out just to continue keeping secrets from people. I’ve never hidden Magnus or Mia from anyone, but mom and dad made a choice that night, too. They chose to remove themselves from my life, and that means not knowing I got married, or that my husband and I are adopting a baby.”

“You know she’s going to try and get in contact with you,” Isabelle warned, exhaustion woven throughout her entire being.

“Let her.”

“Alec….”

“Izzy, I can handle mom."

Unlike the last time he had faced off with his mother, Alec was stronger, wiser, and happier. And, more importantly, he had proven her wrong about everything.

** 

A blown tire. One car spinning out into another, and that car, in turn, smashing into a third, leaving it a mangled mess of metal and glass, bringing an unhappy ending to a long Thanksgiving weekend.

While the rest of the crew prepared equipment and finished gearing up, Alec approached the wreckage of all three vehicles, and was thankful that none of them had caught fire—yet.

“Officers Roberts and Velasquez were the first on the scene for the NYPD and ran the plates of all three vehicles to confirm year, make, and model.” Jace relayed the information as Alec ran through a quick mental assessment of the wreckage.

“So, what exactly are we dealing with?” Alec asked.

“The outer two vehicles didn’t sustain as much damage as the center vehicle, but it’s likely that gas, oil, and coolant—among other fluids—could be leaking.”

“Son of a bitch,” Alec cursed and shook his head. All three fluids were flammable. The ignition of a fire was no longer a matter of _if_ , but a matter of _when_. Surveying the center vehicle again as the first ambulance arrived on scene, Alec knew the vehicle was too heavily damaged for a standard rescue.

They were running up against an invisible timer slowly counting down to zero.

“We’re going to need the jaws.”

The entire crew mobilized instantly, working around each other as though this was nothing more than a choreographed dance with one part working to prevent a fire from igniting while Alec, Jace, and a smaller crew pried the roof and doors off the vehicle.

The sight of two small children in the backseat—roughly two and just a few months— paralyzed Alec, his stomach turning sourly. Injured children always made his heart race, but it was the baby that made his heart stop and his breath hitch as Mia’s sweet face and bright eyes flashed in his mind. Time seemed to have slowed to a crawl around him, voices and sounds muffled in his ears as though he was drowning and couldn’t find a way to keep his head above water.

“Alec!”

As the sound of his name and a hand on his shoulder cut through Alec’s trance, he turned his head and saw Jace standing beside him. Alec expelled the breath he had been holding in one swift huff.

“You all right?” Jace asked.

 Alec shook his head and locked onto Jace’s eyes, the steadiness of the blue and brown reminding Alec to breathe. “I feel sick.”

“I got this,” Jace assured him.

Alec closed his eyes and shook his head. “I’ll be fine.”

The weight of Jace’s hand on his shoulder was replaced with the weight from the Jaws of Life being lifted from his arms.

“Go. Take a breath. I got this.”

Alec lowered his eyes from Jace’s and quickly glanced around. Jace was giving him an out, an opportunity to walk away and clear his mind without questions being raised. Nodding, Alec turned back to the truck.

** 

The sounds of sirens and metal screeching as it was pried apart rang in his ears as Alec stood under the spray of the dorm’s shower, his focus drawn back to the two little ones in the backseat of the car. His stomach flipped uneasily, just as it had at the scene of the accident each time his mind had imposed Mia’s face on the other baby’s.

Alec clamped his eyes closed and leaned fully into the hot water, scrubbing his hands over his face, hoping to scour the images from his mind in the process. Thinking of every possible scenario that could bring Mia harm wasn’t a road he could spend time wandering down.

Alec finished and shut off the water, reaching for a towel to wrap around his waist as he stepped onto the cool tile floor and wandered to his locker to dress. As he reached for his phone to slide it into his back pocket, the reminder alert that he was supposed to pick up Mia popped up on his lock screen. Alec swore under his breath at seeing just how late he was in that task.

He tried Magnus first, hoping that maybe his schedule hadn’t been filled to the end of the day and he could pick Mia up from Tessa’s, but the new receptionist that Magnus had hired had dashed those hopes when she had informed him Magnus did, indeed, have a full schedule. Alec met the same response when he tried to reach Isabelle and Simon. Alec scrolled through his contacts and sat on the bench in front of the stall, putting the phone back up to his ear.

“Hey bro,” Max answered.

“Hey.” Alec’s shoulders eased. “Do you think you could do me a favor? There’s pizza and beer in it for you.”

“I’m all in. Whaddaya need?”

“Can you pick Mia up and hang out at the loft until Magnus gets home? I’m running late because we just got back from a call.”

“Yeah, no problem. Navigating the subway with a baby…. Should be fun.”

Alec laughed lightly. “Her stroller is at Tessa’s, and there’s an envelope of cash in the top righthand drawer of the desk in the study for you to get pizza. I’ll have Magnus pick up the beer on his way home.”

Max huffed on the other end. “I’m offended you think I would imbibe while entrusted with my niece’s welfare.”

“Sorry.” Alec shrugged, even though he knew Max couldn’t see it. “It’s a dad thing and I’ve…had a day. You’ll understand—”

“When I have kids, yeah, yeah, yeah.” Max’s eye roll was evident in his tone.

“Don’t use her to get dates,” Alec warned.

“I’m hanging up on you now.”

Alec lowered the phone as the line went dead, swiped away yet another text message notification from his mother as it popped up on the screen, and rolled his neck slowly in an attempt to loosen the knots that had taken residence there. Footsteps approached on his side and Alec looked up to find Jace coming toward him.

“You doing okay?” Jace leaned against a locker and crossed his arms.

“Yeah, I guess.” Alec shrugged, but knew from the way Jace arched his brow that he didn’t believe Alec was okay for one second. Alec wasn’t sure he truly believed it himself.

“You wanna talk about it?”

Alec sighed and ran his hands through his damp hair. “The baby in the car? All I saw was Mia, and all I keep seeing is Mia.”

“Jesus.” Jace breathed out and moved to sit beside Alec. “No wonder you froze.”

“I got caught off guard.”

“Understandable. How long has it been since you responded to an accident that severe?”

Alec scrunched up his face as he wracked his memory. “Months, I think. Probably before Mia came home. Which still doesn’t make it an excuse.”

“You’re human, Alec, not an emotionless robot. We’re all affected by the things we see when we’re on a call. You have an infant daughter. Something like this would trigger any new parent under the circumstances.”

Alec tipped his head in Jace’s direction, shrugging to concede the point before standing and sliding his phone into his pocket. “I should go file my part of the incident report before I head home.”

“The paperwork is taken care of. What you need to do is go debrief and go through the trauma protocols, so this doesn’t keep haunting you, and then go home and see your little girl.”

If it was Alec’s choice he would have skipped the first step and gone straight home to Magnus and Mia.  He had no interest in spending time rehashing the day’s events with a crisis counselor. He could never unsee what he had seen, but he had enough coping mechanisms from his years with the department to call upon. He would be fine.

That’s what Alec was telling himself, at least.

He wanted to protest, to assure Jace that he was okay, but the look on Jace’s face was firm and set, and because it was protocol, Garroway wouldn’t allow him to leave until he went through the debrief either. Alec reached for his coat in his locker and heaved a deep sigh as he turned to leave but stopped suddenly and turned back to Jace. “I meant to ask you earlier if we could swap shifts next week? Magnus is flying out to Detroit for some continuing education and pediatrics conference. Mia’s going through a phase of separation anxiety and I think it would be a bit much for her to have both Magnus and I gone for those couple of days.”

“Yeah, no problem. I’ll take care of it with Luke.”

“Once again, you’re a life saver.” Alec held up his hands, palm to palm, as he took a step backward. “Goodnight.”

**

The Temptations emanated from the living room into the foyer as Alec closed the door behind him, unzipped his coat and hung it in the hallway, the warmth of the apartment contrasting with the chill that clung to his hands and face. Alec moved toward the sound of the music and peeked his head around the corner. The dull weight of exhaustion that had hovered over him the entire way home melted away, the smile that spread over his lips instantaneous, watching as Magnus danced with Mia.

 _“I…. guess…. you…. say… what can make me feel this way…._ ” Magnus sang over the music, gently bouncing Mia on his hip. _“My girl. My girl. My girl. Talkin’ ‘bout my girl.”_

Without thinking, Alec dug his phone out of his pocket and began recording, capturing the joy of the moment as his heart swelled in his chest and threatened to break free of his ribcage. The smiles on both Magnus’ and Mia’s faces as Magnus touched his forehead to hers forced every terrible memory of the day from Alec’s mind and reminded him it was moments like this that made everything else in the world bearable.

Over Magnus’ shoulder, Mia spotted Alec and her smile widened. Her arms flailed and her feet kicked. Alec clicked off the video as Magnus turned with a grin.

“Did you catch daddy spying on us?” Magnus grinned and pressed a kiss to Mia’s temple as she babbled happily. “He’s not a very good spy, is he, Pumpkin?”

“Firemen don’t really need to be stealthy,” Alec countered as he crossed into the living room. Mia was already leaning away from Magnus, arms outstretched for Alec, and Alec eased as he took her into his arms and held her close, closing his eyes and letting out a deep breath as she turned her head to lay it against his shoulder.

Mia was safe. She was content. Right now, it was enough to bring peace to Alec’s mind and quiet his fears.

“Long day?” Magnus asked when Alec glanced over at him.

“The longest,” Alec affirmed and reached for Magnus, pulling him close and leaning in for a kiss that was slow, easy, lingering, and had Alec melting into Magnus’ familiar presence. “ _That_ makes everything better.”

“And I’ve got plenty more where that came from.” Magnus smiled contently before slowly opening his eyes. “Hungry? Max ordered pizza for us, too.”

“Have you eaten?” Alec asked, though he realized as soon as the question left his lips it wasn’t likely Magnus hadn’t had dinner, and a self-conscious grin crossed his face under the gaze Magnus leveled at him as he cupped Alec’s face.

“For one night, Alexander, don’t worry about anyone else but you.”

The idea of putting himself ahead of others had always been foreign to Alec—so foreign even his profession demanded he put the well-being of others ahead of his own. He knew it wasn’t always to his benefit, and Magnus too often had to tell him not to carry the weight of the entire world on his shoulders, but shouldering that weight was so ingrained in Alec, woven so tightly into the very fabric of who he was, that it just happened.

Alec closed his eyes and leaned into Magnus’ touch, breathing deeply. “I’m starving.”

Magnus pressed a gentle kiss to Alec’s lips and wandered away. Mia lifted her head from Alec’s shoulder, following after Magnus as he disappeared around the corner.

“Where’d papa go?” Alec asked in a hushed tone, brow raised curiously, when Mia turned her head toward him. She babbled in answer, pointing in the direction Magnus had gone, and Alec kissed her forehead as he shifted his phone to his free hand and pulled up his messages. “Who should we send this video to?”

Mia reached for the phone as Alec scrolled through his contacts.

“Aunt Izzy and Uncle Simon, of course. Aunt Clary and Uncle Jace. And Uncle Max. Who else?”

Mia curled her fingers around the phone’s edge, and as she did, pressed the entry for ‘Mom’ in Alec’s contacts with her thumb.

Though fleeting, the pang in his stomach was sharp and Alec found himself pressing his lips together as he was reminded of the string of text messages from his mother reaching out to him—just as Isabelle had told him she would—that sat unread.

“What about Aunt Cat and Uncle Ragnor instead? They’ll probably appreciate you dancing with papa more than my mom.”

Alec swapped out his mother for Cat and Ragnor and sent the message off before sliding his phone back into his pocket. “It’s a good thing you have papa to dance with, because daddy is terrible at it.”

“That’s because you don’t try,” Magnus teased as he reentered the room.

“Not true,” Alec countered. “I went to those dance lessons with you before the wedding.”

“That was six years ago!” Magnus laughed, shooing Chariman off of the coffee table as he set down the plate in his hand.

“It still counts!” Alec shook his head and looked at Mia. “Tell papa it counts.”

Mia cooed, and Alec kissed the palm of her hand before looking at Magnus triumphantly. “See? It counts.”

Magnus crossed over to where Alec stood, but his eyes were trained on Mia. “I see how it is. So now you must suffer the tickle spider!”

The notes of Mia’s laughter as Magnus tickled over her belly could have been the New York Philharmonic as far as Alec was concerned, the melody and joy of it expanding his chest and splitting his face into a smile. If there was a happier sound in the world than a baby’s laugh, Alec had yet to find it.

Magnus planted a kiss on Mia’s temple and turned his attention back to Alec. “Sit. Eat.”

Alec was careful as he lowered himself to the floor to keep from jostling Mia and settled her on her activity mat before resting up against the couch. Soon Magnus joined him on the floor, setting a glass of red wine on the table in front of Alec. Alec gave Magnus his full attention as Magnus gave him the rundown of his day—it had been just as taxing on Magnus’ nerves as Alec’s had been on his—and very reluctantly filled Magnus in on his day, though Alec left out some details which simply couldn’t be divulged. Magnus’ hand was warm as he slipped it into Alec’s, interlocking their fingers. The gesture was so simple, so easy, and brought a sense of comfort to Alec that had been missing all afternoon.

Laying his head on Magnus’ shoulder, Alec passed a few quiet moments watching as Mia kicked against her activity mat, batting at the objects that dangled above her, and squeeing when Chairman batted at the same object only seconds later. Try as he might, Alec still couldn’t keep the images from the afternoon out of his mind. He sighed in defeat.

“We can’t keep her from getting hurt, can we?”

Alec realized the question he had just given voice to had been at the heart of his worries all afternoon. He wholeheartedly believed the family in the accident had taken every precaution to keep their children safe, never once thinking the unimaginable could happen. He imagined they were the same precautions he and Magnus took with Mia. And if it could happen to another child….

“No,” Magnus released Alec’s hand and wound his arm around Alec’s shoulders, drawing Alec in close, as he dropped a kiss onto his forehead. “All we can do is try to prevent it from happening as much as possible and be there to put everything back together if everything falls apart.”

Magnus’ confirmation did nothing to quiet Alec’s worries and fears. He doubted anything ever would. But he was reminded he didn’t have to shoulder the burden alone, that Magnus was with him to carry part of those same worries and fears on his own shoulders.

“What are you going to do about your mother?” Magnus changed the subject. 

Despite Isabelle’s warning, and his assurances that he could handle his mother trying to reconnect, it had taken Alec by surprise when that first message had arrived. He had convinced himself he had time to consider all scenarios, to come to a firm conclusion on what would come next with his mother—if he wanted anything to come next at all. Now that his mother had made her move, Alec felt as though he was trapped in a game of chess, caught off guard by a move he hadn’t considered and didn’t have a strategy for.

“Avoid her until I figure out what comes next?”

Magnus huffed. “And when avoiding her no longer works?”

Magnus’ arm fell from around him as Alec raised his head off Magnus’ shoulder. He licked his lips and looked down into his glass, carefully swirling the remaining sips of his wine around. The answer was obvious—there _shouldn’t_ be a next step. _They_ had abandoned _him_ , had cut him out without a second thought, and the only reason Maryse Lightwood was reaching out to him now was because of Mia. She wanted to have her cake and eat it, too, and Alec was certain it was because she didn’t want to miss out on the opportunities she would have as a grandmother the way she had missed out on so many opportunities as a mother. Alec’s stomach twisted sickeningly, and his entire body almost shook from rage. He knew his parents didn’t deserve reconciliation.

Alec swallowed down the answer with the rest of his wine.

** 

Magnus had watched Alec as his question hung between them. While Alec had been physically still, his eyes had darted around the room, taking in everything but seeing nothing. Alec’s silence spoke volumes, and Magnus could almost hear the muted wonderings that filled the space words should have.

_What if they’ve changed?_

_What if they’ve realized they were wrong?_

_What if I’m wanted again?_

_What if that which is broken can be put back together?_

_What if we can be a family?_

_What if….?_

Magnus had wondered much of the same about his own family growing up in foster care, always hoping that today, or tomorrow, or the day after that would be the day he’d finally have a permanent family to call his own. He’d had to wait for Alec for his hopes of permanence to become reality. A small part of Magnus didn’t want Alec’s hopes of some sort of reunion—slim as they may be—to be dashed the way his own had been, but the overwhelming twinge in Magnus’ gut told him to protect Alec against the devastation he feared was looming just out of sight.

Magnus knew it wouldn’t be that easy.

“Whatever you decide, Alexander, _you_ hold all the power,” Magnus said after a heartbeat of silence.

This time it was Alec’s hand that slid easily inside Magnus’ and squeezed tight.

Magnus nodded toward Alec’s empty glass. “More?”

Alec nodded.

Brushing a kiss over the back of Alec’s hand before letting go, Magnus stood and crossed over to the small drink stand in the corner.

Alec cleared his throat as Magnus poured them more wine. “I was able to switch shifts with Jace, so I’m off for those couple days you’re in Detroit.”

While Magnus was less than thrilled he would have to spend any length of time in a city as drab, gray, and industrial as Detroit, he took comfort in the fact that at least Alec would get some much-needed time to himself with Mia. “I’m going to give the conference organizer a piece of my mind if I run into them. Who hosts a conference in Detroit at the beginning of December when there are much nicer destinations?”

“I can only imagine where you’d host it,” Alec chuckled. Magnus’ mouth tugged into a grin at the lightness that had returned to Alec’s tone as he corked the bottle of wine.

Magnus spun gracefully on his heel, a glass in each hand. “I hear Maui is quite lovely this time of year.”

“Maui is lovely all year,” Alec concurred. As Magnus made his way back to Alec, Alec shifted forward to shake one of the rattly objects that dangled above Mia to grab her attention back from gnawing on her fists.

“My point exactly. You cannot walk under the stars along the beach with a drink in your hand in December when in Detroit, Alexander.” Magnus sat beside Alec again, reveling in Mia’s toothless grin and light giggle as Alec made silly noises at her.

“So, we’ll plan a vacation for the three of us to go to Maui,” Alec smiled down at Mia.

“ _Where_ the conference is being held is only half of it.” Magnus swallowed thickly as he grew somber, chest tightening as though the air had been sucked out of his lungs. When he had initially decided to go by himself, Magnus had rationalized that it didn’t make sense for the three of them to travel when there were no sponsored activities for spouses and children. And it was _only_ a couple of days. They would pass quickly and before Magnus knew it, he would be right back home, spending his evenings with the two most important people in his life, just as he was now.

“Then what is it?”

“This,” Magnus breathed, drawing his thumb along his finger in slow circles as he stared ahead of him. Mia’s focus had followed Alec’s. She had shifted herself halfway onto her side and was looking up at Magnus with big, bright, curious eyes. She had been so close to rolling over by herself for days now, was so close to sitting up without support, and Magnus didn’t want to think about those milestones happening while he was gone. “I don’t want to not have this. The last few months have gone by so _fast_ , and with Mia discovering new things every day I don’t want to miss any of it.”

“You won’t.”

There was so much certainty in Alec’s words and the intensity of his hazel eyes as they locked onto Magnus’ own stripped Magnus bare without making him feel even more vulnerable. “You can’t promise me that.”

“Yes, I can. A change of scenery seemed like a good thing for all of us, so I checked how full your flight was on the subway. I booked myself a ticket for Mia and me to go with you.”

Only the wine in his hand and a subconscious awareness that launching himself at Alec would startle both Chairman and Mia—causing Chairman to hiss angrily and dash off to one of his many hiding places, and Mia to break out into hysterics—kept Magnus from doing just that. Instead, he fisted his hand into the front of Alec’s shirt and pulled him in for a kiss that was bruising and all consuming. Vibrations of Alec humming into the kiss reverberated against Magnus’ lips and Magnus found himself chasing after Alec, hungry and desperate for more, when Alec pulled back.

“We’re absolutely going to continue this after we put Mia to bed, but look….”

Loosening his hold on Alec’s shirt, Magnus turned his head to see Mia completely on her side, head craned back as she tried to follow where Chairman was sauntering off to, seemingly determined to keep the tabby in her line of sight, and the fact that she wasn’t able to elicited a frustrated whine from her.

“This leg just won’t kick over for you, will it, baby girl?” Alec tapped the back of Mia’s leg gently as he spoke.

“You’re so close, Pumpkin,” Magnus encouraged her.

Scrunching up her face, Mia twisted her torso enough that she ended up flat on her tummy, arms tucked underneath her, stubborn leg be damned.

“That’s my girl!” Alec cheered as Magnus clapped his hands together triumphantly. Mia looked around as though assessing her surroundings from this new angle, her normally wide eyes even wider. It seemed to Magnus that Mia had stunned herself and his thoughts were confirmed a moment later when her cries emanated through the room. Scooping her up into his arms and securing her against his chest, Magnus kissed one of her cheeks as Alec leaned in to kiss her temple, speaking in soothing tones as he tried to calm her.

It seemed even bad days could have happy endings.

** 

Detroit didn’t seem as gray and dreary as Magnus had first believed it would as he looked out the hotel room window at the Detroit River. Snow had fallen the night before and lightly blanketed the world below as more fat, fluffy flakes slowly fell from the sky. Looking down at Mia as he cradled her in his arms to feed her, Magnus was taken back to the night before. As they had meandered around the Detroit Zoo, Mia had taken in the world around her with an abundance of wonder and joy that was as unbridled as it was simplistic. Everything was new to her, from the animal-shaped light displays and features to the snowflakes that had kissed her rosy cheeks and eyelashes, and it had made Magnus want to try and see the world as Mia saw it in that moment. He’d been stunned at how easy it had been to do and he realized there was happiness and beauty to be found all around him—he had just needed a change of perspective.

Seeing Alec just as carefree made the memory one Magnus would not soon forget.

Mia’s eyes fluttered heavily as she guzzled down the last of her formula. Magnus smiled warmly as he took the bottle from her and set it on the writing table beside the window. He laid her down to change her quickly and swept her back up into his arms when he was finished, the old diaper tossed in the trash.

“Ready for daddy snuggles?” Magnus whispered, nudging his nose against Mia’s. He sat carefully on the edge of the bed beside Alec and rested a warm hand on Alec’s bare arm. Alec inhaled slowly as he stirred, peeking one eye open.

“Morning,” he murmured in a sleep-raspy voice, closing his eye again.

“Good morning.”

“What time is it?” Alec ran a hand slowly over his face, scratching at the second-day stubble along his jawline.

“A little before seven.”

The time seemed to dawn on Alec as he popped both eyes open and looked at Magnus and Mia, scrambling to sit up against the pillows. “Why didn’t you wake me up? I’d have fed her so you could get ready.”

“I was up anyway. Minimalist smoky eyes don’t do themselves,” Magnus stated matter-of-factly, unconsciously rocking side to side as he held Mia.

“‘Minimalist smoky eyes’ sounds like a contradiction.”

“But it takes effort.” Magnus grinned. Alec’s face twisted in confusion. “Besides, you were sleeping so well, and your snores were adorably endearing.”

“I don’t snore,” Alec grumbled.

“Tiny purrs, then?”

Alec narrowed his eyes as he reached behind him for a pillow and Magnus saw each thought as it passed through Alec’s mind—how he could easily swat Magnus with his pillow but risked also hitting Mia and she was simply an innocent, sleeping angel who had been unknowingly dragged into her papa’s poking of the bear.

Magnus tucked Mia against him and grinned, leaning forward until his lips hovered just above Alec’s. “You really are charming when you’re grumpy.”

Magnus cut off whatever response Alec was starting to formulate with his lips. Instead of hearing mumbled grumblings, Magnus felt warm, calloused fingers curling along the back of his neck. The roughness of Alec’s skin was contrasted in the gentle way he drew Magnus deeper into the kiss. It was enough to make Magnus shiver.

“That suit is my favorite,” Alec murmured, hand still on the back of Magnus’ neck as their lips separated.

The deep burgundy three-piece suit with all black accents was one Magnus didn’t wear often, but having contemplated the grayness of Detroit, Magnus had brought it simply because he thought it might spice the city up a touch.

“You like all my suits, Alexander.”

“Yes, but this one especially hugs all my favorite places perfectly.” Alec drew Magnus back in for another kiss, moaning gently against Magnus’ lips.

“If you’re not careful, I’ll be more than fashionably late to my conference,” Magnus murmured.

“Or you could just not go.”

Every nerve in Magnus’ body was screaming for him to agree with Alec, to give in and consider the mad idea of staying right here and just not attending the conference at all. It would be absolutely worth it, and yet….

“I have to.” Magnus’ shoulders slumped forward with a sigh as he forced himself to pull back. He kissed the top of Mia’s head lightly and passed her over to Alec. “I should be done by four, though.”

“Dinner and Campus Martius tonight?” Alec settled Mia against his chest and tucked the covers around them both.

 Magnus recalled the park as one of the recommendations from the concierge when they had checked in the previous afternoon. They had decided to take Mia to the zoo instead. “Ice skating for us, Santa for her…. It’s a date.” 

**

Brooklyn would always be home. But Alec was finding himself falling in love with Detroit. The ride from the hotel to The Henry Ford Museum hadn’t been the most scenic, Alec would admit, but set amongst abandoned and run-down buildings were city blocks and neighborhoods that were slowly coming back to life. It was a reminder that the city had seen some of the highest highs and had been pulled down to the lowest of lows. Detroit had been knocked down and dragged out, and yet here it stood, pulling itself back up, ready to fight once more. Almost every city Alec had visited had heart. Detroit was one of the very few that had soul and grit, too.

Having only a few hours to explore the expansive museum before needing to meet Magnus—he and Mia had snuggled far longer than Alec had planned to, and he had exactly zero regrets about it—Alec settled for seeing only a few of the exhibits The Henry Ford offered. With Mia strapped securely to his chest, Alec wandered through the exhibits slowly, reading each of the plaques about the artifacts aloud for Mia's benefit.

Alec felt his phone buzz in his pocket. A message from Magnus popped up on his lock screen and Alec swiped to open it fully, unable to hold in a laugh at the black and white selfie of Magnus wearing a surgical mask and appearing to be screaming behind it. It had been sent with no caption or context, but Alec could imagine Magnus was ready for the conference to end.

The photo Alec snapped and sent back showed Mia fixated on something offscreen and Alec looking tiredly amused.

_Trying to teach our little one about women's suffrage, Rosa Parks, and being strong and independent. She just wants to look at pretty lights and watch people._

 Message bubbles popped up for a moment or two before Magnus’ response appeared. _It may not seem so, but she is absorbing the environment around her. You may have unwittingly sparked a future love of all things history in her, my dear Alexander._

The simple endearment had Alec’s heart batting furiously against his ribcage and his mouth tipping up into an absurdly happy smile. There was a long list of things Alec wanted for Mia in her life, but the hope that she found someone who never stopped making her heart race was rapidly moving to the top of his list.

Looking down at his phone as it pinged again, Alec shook his head at the selfie of Magnus looking bored and rolling his eyes. _Break over._

_Maybe you’ll finish early???_

_Wouldn’t that be nice?_

“Yes, it would.” Alec mumbled to himself before typing out a reply. _You go learn new ways to save kiddos. I’m going to try teaching ours about cars._

 

** 

The new year had come and gone. The moment itself had always seemed very anti-climactic to Alec because what really changed at midnight? This year had seemed different, however, filled with a sense of hope that hadn’t been present the year before, and the only reason Alec could pinpoint for that change was Mia.

Leaning against a pillow propped up against the arm of the couch, Alec sat with his knees drawn up, Mia’s back resting against his torso and Chairman curled up at his feet. The Christmas decorations needed to be taken down and packed up to be put back into storage—among a handful of other chores on the list to be done—but with Magnus volunteering with Cat at the clinic, Alec had decided to spend a quiet day with Mia.

_She won’t be little forever._

Chores and taking down decorations could wait another day. 

As he thumbed through an anatomy textbook he’d received for his EMT certification, a brightly colored illustration diagramming the human heart featured prominently on the page Alec flipped to, and Mia kicked at the book as she babbled away excitedly.

“Yeah? I think you’d be a very good doctor. Just like your papa.” Alec smiled as Mia grew more animated at his words. He chose to take it as a sign that medical school was in her future, though he would support whatever career field she chose to pursue. Alec moved to turn to another page but looked up, brow creased in confusion when he heard a knock on the door.  Neither he nor Magnus were expecting any deliveries since it was the weekend, and he wasn’t expecting any company for the afternoon. “Let’s go see who that is?”

Hooking his arm around Mia’s torso, Alec stood and padded into the foyer. Had he been expecting anyone, he would have answered the door outright, but the unexpectedness of whomever was at his door made him check the peephole first.

All the air seemed to squeeze out of his lungs as every protective instinct he possessed kicked in, and Alec was glad he was holding Mia at that moment or he was certain his hands would have begun to shake. He retreated from the door and started down the hall to the nursery. Alec set Mia in her crib and closed the door as he left. His fists clenched, unclenched, and clenched again as he looked at the heavy black door.

With a hard swallow, Alec opened it and used his body to block his guest’s view of the apartment’s interior. 

“Hello, Alec.”

The woman’s face lit up with as genuine a smile as Alec had ever seen her wear as he studied her; the impeccably neat chignon her hair was pulled back into, her plum knee-length wool coat, leather gloves, black tights, and tall suede boots. Did she _ever_ dress down? The smile lasted only briefly, perhaps in response to his own stoic expression which was entirely contradictory to the way his blood rushed through his veins and his stomach churned. Every breath he took was measured as Magnus’ words flitted around his mind.

 _He_ held all the power.

“Mother.” His tone was gruffer than he’d intended, but with all things considered, Alec took it as a small victory that he hadn’t been harsher.

Tension dense as a heavy fog settled between them as they stared each other down, Alec’s gaze hardened and jaw set. He was in control. He just had to keep reminding himself of it.

“Won’t you invite me in? Despite everything, I did raise you to have manners,” Maryse said evenly, taking a measured breath.

 _Fuck_ , Alec swore internally. Even if he hadn’t had to concede that particular point to her, and no matter how strongly he absolutely did _not_ want to allow her into his home, he also knew he couldn’t leave Mia alone in the apartment while he and his mother engaged in whatever brief conversation they were going to have, since it didn’t seem Maryse was going to be leaving otherwise. Alec sighed heavily and pursed his lips as he reluctantly stepped aside and allowed her in, closing the door behind her with a heavy click. He moved around her deftly, blocking her from entering the apartment any farther than the entry way.

“I wouldn’t worry about taking your coat off,” Alec stated coolly while crossing his arms over his chest.

Maryse’s jaw flinched almost imperceptibly, but she let her hands fall from the buttons on her coat. Instead, she slid off her gloves and folded her hands in front of her, pulling her shoulders back proudly. “Point taken.”

Alec answered her comment with silence as a controlled rage churned inside him that she had taken the safety and solace of his own home—the home he and Magnus had worked so hard to build together—away from him. Frequent calls and text messages Alec could deal with because he was fully in control of how he responded. But this…. This was something else entirely.

 “You’ve done well for yourself.”

Alec didn’t have time for her to beat around the bush. He closed his eyes and pressed his lips together before leveling his gaze on her. “What do you want, mom? Why are you here?”

“Your sister opened my eyes to some of the ways I’ve treated people over the years. I wanted to start the new year by attempting to repair those relationships that I’ve neglected. I’ve tried reaching out to all of you, and Isabelle, Jace, and Max have all said if I want to make amends with them, I have to make amends with you first.”

“So, you're only here because of them? Not because, out of all of us, I’m the one you and dad hurt the most? And it took Izzy to open your eyes to all of it?” The fuse inside of him was long and slow burning, but the tremor in his voice—that he didn’t bother trying to hide—was a sure sign his fuse was close to burning out.

“I know I've hurt you, Alec. I just.… I didn't know how much.”

“You disowned me! How could you _not_ have known?!” Alec exploded, no longer able to contain all the anger and hurt that had built upon itself over the years. Maryse flinched at his outburst, but it was the cries that came from down the hall that made Alec close his eyes again and try to regain control of his fury. Alec held up a shaking hand to hold Maryse where she stood. “Just— Stay there.”

Alec hurried down the hall and ducked into the nursery, letting the door drift closed behind him, heart shattering at Mia in her crib, face red and wet with tears as she cried. She didn’t understand any of what was happening, and it broke the shattered pieces of his heart into thousands more that his outburst had caused it.

Yet those same pieces of his heart found themselves knitting back together the moment Mia reached for him. He swooped her up and kissed each of her cheeks, swiping her tears away gently. “I know, sweetheart, I know. I’m sorry I scared you. Shhhh.”

Alec walked the length of the room, back and forth, cradling Mia close so she could hear his heart beating and feel the depth of every breath he took, her hand clutching the neck of his sweater. He brushed kiss after kiss over the top of her head until her cries turned to gentle gasps as she caught her breath. Her grip on his sweater relaxed as Mia turned her eyes up to him. Looking down at her, it struck Alec that even if he had caused her to be scared, he had still brought her comfort. He was still her protector. It was an overwhelming notion to understand he would never be a perfect father, but he would always— _always_ —aim to be a source of unconditional comfort, love, safety, and protection for her; everything his own parents hadn’t been for him.

Alec exhaled a slow breath and felt Mia’s heart beating in time with his own. He crossed the room to the glider beside Mia’s crib and sat, rocking in a careful rhythm, not yet ready to face his own mother. Alec hummed gently before quietly starting to sing a familiar lullaby.

“ _You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. You make me happy when skies are gray. You’ll never know, Mia-bear, how much I love you. Please don’t take my sunshine away.”_

**

If Alec could have climbed into the crib with Mia and curled up with her in his arms to sleep, he would have. Instead, he closed the door to the nursery gently to keep Mia from waking and breathed in deep to steady himself before returning to finish the discussion with his mother.

While he had tended to Mia, Maryse had ventured farther into the apartment. Alec found her by the bookshelf, scanning titles and admiring photos under Chairman’s watchful, mistrusting gaze.

Maryse glanced up as he turned the corner. “Is she okay?”

Alec nodded, folding his arms around his torso. “She’s asleep.”

“She’s beautiful.” Maryse’s face softened into a smile as she gestured to a photo of Mia from her first Christmas just a few weeks before, dressed in the pale gold polka dot dress, cardigan, and matching bow headband Magnus had picked out.

“She is.”

Maryse gestured to a strip of photos Alec recognized as the photo booth pictures he and Magnus had taken on their honeymoon in Tokyo. “And this is your…. Partner?”

“Husband,” Alec corrected, though he begrudgingly appreciated the effort his mother put forth to not diminish Magnus’ place in his life. 

“How long have you been married?”

“Six years. We've been together for seven. We met after you and dad disowned me. So, you know, not a phase, in case you needed further confirmation that this is just who I am.”

Maryse looked at her hands before taking a step closer, trying to bridge the physical and emotional distance between them.

Chariman hissed threateningly.

“Alec, I am sorry. I do want to try and make things right.”

Alec took two steps back. “I appreciate that, but this isn’t something that can be fixed in one afternoon, Mom.”

“However long it takes….”

Alec shook his head. “And what if this isn’t what I want? Because for this to work, we all have to want it. You and dad have had seven years to make things right. And yet you’re the only one here, so I’m guessing dad either has no clue you’re doing this, or he’s not on board. So why are you here now? Because I have a daughter, and you want to be a grandmother? It doesn’t work like that, and just because the time is apparently right for you, doesn’t mean it will ever be the right time for me.”

“Alec, please, hear me out? That would be enough.”

“I’m not really in the mood.” Alec turned and marched to the door, opening it. “You can go now.”

Maryse was still for only a moment before seeming to compose herself. She gave Alec a curt nod as she passed, walking out of the apartment just as proudly as she had walked in.

** 

“I’ll have your table ready in just a few moments, Mr. Bane.”

The hostess’ blue eyes sparkled with kindness as they met Magnus’ and he offered her a grateful smile in return. He turned on his heel, careful not to hit another patron with the tail of his studded black coat and wove his way through bodies back to where Alec stood, face illuminated by the bright white light of his phone screen.

Immersing himself in the digital world wasn’t like Alec at all. He had always prided himself on being ever present and giving someone all of his attention when he was with them. Magnus had been overwhelmed by the intensity of that undivided attention—and surprised that he couldn’t shrink away from it—when he and Alec had first started seeing each other, but it had also made Magnus realize Alec was a rare gem amongst a million common stones.  So, when Magnus had come home from the clinic to find Alec scrolling mindlessly through social media apps, silent and unable to find comfort in anything else, while Mia kicked around on her activity mat, Magnus had known something wasn’t quite right. He had flippantly suggested dining out, and Alec had thoroughly surprised Magnus with how agreeable he had been to the idea since he preferred staying in when he was in any sort of mood. A couple text messages and several minutes later, Clary had enthusiastically agreed to babysitting Mia, and Raphael had insisted that if Magnus and Alec came by the new restaurant, they would find themselves on the reservation list as guests of the owner.

 Not that Magnus was registering any complaints about how the night’s plans had unfolded. He was almost certain the last time he and Alec had spent a night alone together had been the night before Mia came home, and a night out—just the two of them—was long overdue. But more than anything, Magnus wanted to understand what had ignited such a rapid change in Alec.

Magnus came to stand in front of Alec and leaned forward slightly, a grin on his face as he peered at Alec’s screen and asked, “Catching up with the Kardashians?”

“Hmm?” Alec lifted his eyes from the screen, thumb frozen mid-scroll.

“Alexander,” Magnus gently chided. “Has anything new happened in the last few minutes since we arrived?”

Alec tilted his head as his shoulders fell. “No.”

“And since Mia is in excellent hands, and Clary knows exactly what to do in the event of a medical emergency, we can worry less about that.”

“You’re absolutely right. I’m sorry. Putting my phone away.” Alec slid the phone into his pocket.

“I completely understand.” Magnus’ voice was light. “It’s easy to scroll and scroll and scroll idly when you need mindless distractions.”

“Who needs a distraction when they have you?” Alec drew Magnus into him for a kiss.

“Are you flirting with me, Mr. Lightwood?” Magnus grinned against Alec’s lips.

“You assume that I ever stop flirting with you, Dr. Bane.” Alec licked his lips, tasting the remnants of lipgloss that had been left behind. “Is that tangerine?”

“Indeed.” Magnus smirked. “It’s from the set you gave me for Christmas.”

“Izzy said it was the best reviewed set by some of the top beauty bloggers she follows.” Alec followed after Magnus as the hostess led them through the restaurant to a booth in the far corner. Being guests of the owner had its perks.

Magnus shrugged off his coat and set it on the bench seat, fixing the sleeves of his black button-down shirt with crimson stripes and glanced around as Alec settled in across from him. The area around them was cast in a dim blue-amber glow that complimented the dark brick walls, wood floors, and tabletops. It didn’t surprise Magnus that there was very little decor other than the high-end patterned fabric covering the back of each booth and mirrors bordered by heavy, darkly painted stone. Raphael had always preferred to let the food dictate the success of the restaurant rather than the decor and ambiance.

Across from him, Alec was so deeply invested in perusing the menu that Magnus had to nudge his foot gently under the table when their server came around for their drink order. He peeled at the label on his beer bottle as they waited for their meals, alternating between sitting forward with his elbows on the table and leaning against the backrest. Answers and responses to Magnus’ conversation were short. There was no life in Alec’s laughter, and no crinkle at the corners of his eyes when he smiled because it didn’t linger on his lips long enough to travel to his eyes. When they had finished and were waiting for the check, Alec began lightly drumming his fingers on the table top.

Magnus couldn’t recall a time he had seen Alec as unsettled as he was now and didn’t know the last time Alec hadn’t confided in him what was bothering him. Magnus was used to Alec being an open book, keeping nothing hidden, and he missed Alec’s directness in letting what he felt and thought out into the open.

What had rattled Alec so deeply that he was closing himself off and not letting Magnus in?

The night was cold and clear as they walked silently along the river through Brooklyn Bridge Park, Christmas lights still adorning trees and lampposts. Had it been snowing, Magnus may have made a joke about walking through a winter wonderland, but the thought died quickly as he watched Alec out of the corner of his eye, walking along with his head down and his hands buried in the pockets of his coat.

“We have another home study with Lydia this week, don’t we?” Magnus asked lightly in the hope anything relating to Mia would bring the light back to Alec’s eyes.

Alec nodded without looking at him. “Yeah.”

The cold air Magnus inhaled cut sharply through his lungs as he forced a smile onto his face and curled his hand around Alec’s arm. “Why don’t we go get our little princess and head home? I can make us peppermint hot chocolate.”

“We don’t have to,” Alec said, and Magnus wondered if that was really a note of mild panic in Alec’s voice or if he was just imagining it. “We could…. I don’t know…see if there’s a place with live music or something? An open mic night sort of thing? And barring that, it’s Saturday night, we could…go dancing…. Or something.”

Magnus turned his head, studying Alec as they walked along the Fulton Ferry Landing. Pieces of the puzzle began to assemble themselves into a clearer picture. Alec’s enthusiasm at going out instead of staying in for the night, but lacking any sort of presence at dinner, suggesting dancing—the latter being the most telling clue of all—suddenly made infinitely more sense.

Magnus drew his hand gently down Alec’s arm as he stepped in front of him, halting Alec in his tracks.

“You don’t want to be at home.”

Alec folded in on himself, deflating with one prolonged exhale. Eyes closed, Alec pinched at the bridge of his nose as he turned away from Magnus and moved to stand near the landing’s edge. Alec leaned forward, resting his forearms on the lacquered railing, clasping his hands together. Magnus settled into the space beside him, found the bare skin of Alec’s wrist under the sleeve of his coat, and curled his hand around it despite the chill of his own skin.

“What happened, Alec?”

Alec lowered his head, shaking it slightly, but covered Magnus’ hand with his own.

“Alexander, I cannot help you with whatever this is if you don’t talk to me.” Magnus knew he was pleading with Alec to confide in him, to give him the last piece of the puzzle to make the image complete, though Magnus had a sinking sense he knew what that final piece would be. The longer Alec was silent, the more Magnus feared his gut instinct was correct.

This was one time he desperately hoped his intuition was wrong.

Alec’s shoulders expanded with a heavy inhale. “My mother decided to pay me an unexpected visit today.”

Hearing Alec confirm what Magnus already instinctively knew didn’t stop the free fall his stomach had plunged into or the unsteady racing of his heartbeat. A shudder passed through him that he would attribute to the biting cold air coming in off the water instead of the anger running through his veins at Alec’s confession. Magnus tightened his hold on Alec’s wrist, and didn’t bother to hide the flex in his jaw when Alec finally looked over at him.

“I always knew our paths might cross through work, but home....” Alec stood to his full height. “That was always the one place I knew she couldn’t get to me. The one place that was _safe_. And now….”

“And now she’s taken that away from you.” A tremor coursed through every nerve in Magnus’ body, rage springing to life inside him with nowhere to go, no way to be unleashed.

“Not just from me. From Mia. From you. From _us_.” Alec turned toward Magnus. In Alec’s eyes, Magnus saw a man clawing desperately for anything solid to grasp onto to keep his head above water as he slowly drowned under the weight of having failed to keep his family safe.

Magnus brought his thumb up to swipe over his lower lip as thoughts zipped through his mind, none of which would make this situation better. He would have to be firm in his belief that the universe would handle Maryse Lightwood. Magnus had more important people to focus on.

“Short of going on a hunt for a new apartment, the only thing we can do right now to prevent such encounters in the future is to ensure building security knows who is and isn’t allowed access to the apartment.”

Magnus had suggested just that to Alec when they had moved in after their honeymoon. Alec turned and leaned his back against the rail as he looked away, and Magnus heard the eye roll in his sigh, likely now remembering Magnus’ suggestion and how he’d dismissed it because he was _certain_ his parents would forever keep their distance.

“We’ll deal with that tomorrow.” Magnus leaned against the rail beside Alec. “What was it that brought your mother down from her cold, ivory tower in Manhattan?”

Alec turned to look at Magnus again, licking over dry lips as he answered, “She wants to make amends. She says Izzy opened her eyes to how poorly she’s treated all of us, but neither she or Jace or Max will play mom’s game unless she figures things out with me first.”

Magnus wanted to believe that was the end of it because the strength Alec had gained from the pain his parents had caused was too great; that however Alec had dismissed his mother earlier had been the final nail in her coffin. And yet he thought back to a night sitting on the living room floor just weeks before, remembered the dithering look on Alec’s face, could feel the sharp ache in his own chest that he was certain Alec had felt that night as well, and knew Alec would blow up the ground he stood on to make all of this right, if for nothing more than his own inner peace.

“Whatever you decide, I will support you,” Magnus said, meeting Alec’s eyes. “But she doesn't deserve your forgiveness. Neither of your parents do.”

“I know they don't,” Alec agreed glumly. “But how can I teach Mia how to forgive if I can’t forgive?”

“Because sometimes an offense is so egregious the lesson to be taught is not how to forgive, but that not everything is forgivable.” Magnus paused. “What they did to you, Alexander….”

Magnus looked out over the river to stop himself from saying more. He knew Alec didn’t need him to put voice to it. Alec had lived with the scars from the millions of tiny paper cuts he’d endured throughout his entire life; words that had cut him to the core, an internalized self-hatred and unrelenting desire to be nothing short of perfect because perfection equaled acceptance, and being left behind by the two people in his life who should have loved him just because he was theirs, all because Alec had been born _different_ in their eyes.

Damaged, somehow.

It had taken them all—Magnus, Isabelle, Jace, Max, Clary, and Simon—to help Alec finally heal the multitude of those minuscule cuts until only scars remained. Then, like a phoenix, Alec rose from the ashes that had burned around him, stronger and more steadfastly loyal to those he allowed to be close to him. A fire had ignited inside of Alec, sparking a passion that burned hot and bright, and in the place of uncertainty a firm confidence had sprung to life.

Alec loved unapologetically and unconditionally because _he_ was loved unapologetically and unconditionally. 

In a split second, Magnus’ perspective shifted. He glanced over and studied Alec—his face drawn, shoulders hunched, and arms wrapped around his torso as though to protect himself—before pushing away from the rail to stand in front of him.

“Maybe this doesn’t have to be about forgiveness at all.”

Alec knit his brows curiously. “Okay. Explain.”

“If you choose to go through with this,” Magnus started, though he could see Alec’s decision reflected in his hazel eyes. “Turn this back on them and show them how wrong they were about you. Show them this didn’t break you. It made you stronger, it helped make you the husband and father you are, and there isn’t anything they can do or say to you any longer that can intimidate you, including blindsiding you with unexpected visits.”

Alec loosened his hold on himself and drew Magnus in by the waist, answering Magnus’ words with a kiss that warmed Magnus from the inside out as he felt Alec relax against him. Drawing back, Magnus relished the return of a gentle smile on Alec’s lips.

Pushing away from the railing, Alec took hold of Magnus’ hand.

“Let’s go get our little princess and go home.”

**

Steam billowed up from the surface of the water as Alec sank deeper into the large clawfoot tub, wondering why he didn’t follow Magnus’ relaxation techniques more often. With his head resting on the tub’s edge, Alec closed his eyes while the heat of the water melted the tension in his muscles away. He still wasn’t entirely sure how Clary had convinced them to let her and Jace keep Mia for the night, except for perhaps the knowledge that Mia was in very capable hands with Clary. The picture Clary had sent them back when Alec had let her know they were on their way to pick Mia up—Mia asleep on Jace’s chest as Jace slept, with the accompanying caption _Let them sleep—_ hadn’t hurt Clary’s chances of keeping Mia overnight either.

Footsteps on the cool tile floor prompted Alec to open his eyes. He was greeted by the sight of Magnus shrugging off his shirt and tossing it to the side to be dealt with later, leaving Alec with an unobstructed view of rippling back and shoulder muscles under smooth skin with every movement Magnus made.  Alec swallowed thickly, despite the sudden dryness of his mouth, and licked his lips, unable to take his eyes off Magnus, wholly captivated by his fluidity and grace. And all he was doing was taking off his makeup.

“Enjoying the view?”

“Considering it’s the best view in all five boroughs, yes, I’m enjoying it immensely.” Alec grinned flirtatiously. “In fact, I can think of a couple ways it could get better.”

Magnus turned with all the grace and precision of a classically trained dancer, leaning against the edge of the counter, a smirk playing at his lips and eyes scanning over Alec’s bare chest and shoulders. “And what might those ways be?”

Alec dropped his gaze from Magnus’ eyes to Magnus’ belt, greedily drinking in broad shoulders, defined pecs, and abs harder than rocks as he did. “Guess.”

Magnus hooked his thumb over his belt. “I’m not a mind reader, Alexander.”

“Are you sure? You seem to be reading mine _extremely_ well.”

Magnus moved away from the counter, reaching behind him to undo his belt buckle. As he pulled the belt through his belt loops, he began moving toward the tub; slow, fluid, and purposeful, the metal buckle clanking against the tile as Magnus let the belt fall to the floor.

Despite the hot water that surrounded him, a shiver ran the length of Alec’s spine.

“That is because you have never been subtle when you give hints,” Magnus remarked.

“Subtlety is overrated.” Alec grinned as Magnus came closer.

Magnus leaned down, bracing his hands on the edges of the tub on either side of Alec, hovering over him, voice low as he said, “Then let’s not play guessing games.”

Alec flicked his tongue over his lips as he dropped his eyes to Magnus’ mouth, knowing that he had to barely tip his head up to meet it, and moved until they were separated by nothing more than a breath as Alec reached up and curved his hand over Magnus’ hip to his ass.

“You still have pants on, and you haven't joined me yet. Why?” Alec asked from low in his throat, wondering if it would be feasible to get Magnus in the tub with him now and his pants off after the fact.

“We aren't playing twenty questions, either, my dear Alexander.” Magnus’ lips bumped against Alec’s as he spoke, yet Magnus never fully kissed him. Still, Alec felt his head spin. “But I’ll answer anyway. I want you completely relaxed because I plan to take full advantage of having absolutely nothing to interrupt us tonight.”

If the words themselves hadn’t been fueled enough with Magnus’ intentions, the way Magnus kissed him then—slow and loving, hungry and needy, all at once—became a promise of what awaited him, and Alec groaned at the familiar stirring in his core as Magnus’ tongue slid effortlessly against his own.

Alec swallowed hard when Magnus finally broke away, chest rising as he took a breath, suddenly overwhelmed at the desire that darkened Magnus’ eyes.

Alec cleared his throat. “I fail to see how you getting into the tub with me would hinder that objective in any way.”

The flicker in Magnus’ eyes was brief, but long enough for Alec to catch it, and the longer Magnus seemed at a loss for a reply caused a grin to spread on Alec’s face. Alec drew his tongue suggestively along his lips and locked his eyes more intently on Magnus’, silently challenging him to give in to what Alec knew they both wanted.

“Oh, it wouldn’t hinder my objective in any way.” A coy smirk slowly took over Magnus’ features. “In fact, I may be willing to give you a _hand_ in the relaxation department.”

“That was not your best innuendo.” Alec rolled his eyes.

“A wise man once said, _subtlety is overrated_ ,” Magnus mimicked Alec as he moved his hand to the side of Alec’s neck.

“Touché,” Alec managed to mutter before Magnus’ lips came down on his again, setting fire to every nerve in Alec’s body as Magnus’ hand grazed over his collarbone, chest, and stomach. There was no teasing in Magnus’ touch, just purpose and determination to rid Alec of any excess tension he was holding onto by getting him off, and Alec’s body reacted in anticipation as Magnus’ hand continued its descent.

Alec pulled his lips from Magnus’ with a soft gasp as Magnus took Alec into his hand, stroking easily along Alec’s length. Alec felt his cock growing harder in Magnus’ fist as he settled into a steady rhythm, each stroke pulling Alec closer to the edge. A strangled moan filled the room and Alec’s head fell back against the edge of the tub as Magnus tightened his hand around Alec’s dick, then loosened it, keeping Alec just on the brink of his release. Then, head spinning and breaths heavy, Alec reached for Magnus, pulling him down into a fierce kiss as he came.

Feeling Magnus’ lips tip into a grin against his after a few moments, Alec’s own lips turned up into a lazy smile as he settled against the back of the tub again and looked up at Magnus. “I think we’re in for a long night.”

Magnus reached for a towel and held it out for Alec. “Oh, the night is just getting started.”

** 

The warmth on his face woke Alec slowly, eyes squinted against the brightness of the morning sun streaming in through the window. His body ached in all the right ways from the night before. He sighed contently as he reached for Magnus, a sleepy smile gracing his mouth as his fingers brushed up against cool, naked skin. He turned and pressed against Magnus, a surge rolling through Alec at being skin to skin.

Magnus stirred as Alec’s arm wound around him, shivering from the gentle kisses Alec trailed along the back of his neck and shoulder.

“Morning,” Alec whispered, smiling against Magnus’ neck.

“Good morning,” Magnus mumbled. “What time is it?”

“I have no idea. But the sun is up.” Alec’s fingers traced along Magnus’ ribs lightly.

“That presents a dilemma,” Magnus started. “I absolutely do not want to get out of this bed, but I also need coffee.”

“On a morning where we have no bottles to make, or diapers to change, coffee can wait.” Alec murmured against the back of Magnus’ neck, splaying his hand flush against Magnus’ toned stomach.

Magnus groaned and pressed back against Alec. “I love when you talk dirty to me, Alexander.”

Alec chuckled lightly against Magnus’ shoulder. “That used to mean something entirely different.”

Magnus turned in Alec’s arms. “I like to think of it as an evolution.”

Before Alec could respond, he heard his phone buzz on the nightstand beside him. There was only one person who would so rudely text him at this time of the morning on a Sunday. Alec decided to ignore it, to close his eyes and lose himself in the tickle of Magnus’ fingers dragging lightly along his skin.

The phone buzzed again. Alec grumbled.

“Go away, Jace.”

“Maybe you should see what he wants,” Magnus suggested as he pressed Alec onto his back and straddled his hips. Alec reached for the phone and looked at the message from Jace on his screen.

_Just FYI, we’re all awake, so you two can stop having sex and come get your kid any time._

Alec scoffed and turned the phone so Magnus could read the message.

Magnus rolled his eyes. “He’s _your_ brother.”

Alec defiantly shook his head. “He’s adopted.”

“He also knows the more he tells us to stop having sex, the more sex we have, right?”

Alec grinned up at Magnus as he tangled Magnus’ necklaces in his fingers, drawing him closer. “I can’t wait to see the look on his face when you tell him that.”

Magnus plucked Alec’s phone out of his hand with a smirk, gaze locked firmly on Alec as he reached over to set the phone back on the nightstand. “Oh, I think it’ll mean more coming from you, and I’ll simply follow it up by commenting on exactly how much sex we’ve had in the last twelve hours.”

“I swear, you’re both going to be the death of me.”

“One of us in far more pleasurable ways than the other.” Magnus nipped gently at Alec’s jawline, smirking devilishly as he sat back again, bottle of lube in hand.

Alec hadn’t even realized Magnus had retrieved that when he had put Alec’s phone back on the nightstand, but as Alec let his gaze wander over every inch of Magnus’ body—from his spread thighs to his shoulders, all calling out to be touched—he would be damned if every cell in his body wasn’t begging to be buried inside Magnus at that moment.

Without seeming to miss a beat, and as though he was reading Alec’s mind, Magnus reached behind him and took Alec’s cock into his hand, slicking the length in a torturously slow motion that had Alec trying to hold back the moan building in his throat.

“You’re doing that mind reading thing you said you couldn’t do again.”

“It’s not _hard_ to know exactly what you want, Alexander.” Magnus winked as he eased Alec’s length inside of him.

Alec’s groan was twofold. He was now convinced Magnus was deliberately putting his own spin on the dad joke in the form of dad innuendos, and yet was completely unable to give much thought to anything other than his cock sinking into the heat of Magnus’ body. 

Alec slid his hands along Magnus’ thighs. “Just shut up and ride me.”

Hips rolling agonizingly slowly as he planted his hands firmly against Alec’s abs, the corner of Magnus’ mouth tipped up wickedly. “You’re very assertive this morning, Mr. Lightwood.”

“I believe you used the term ‘bossy’ last night, Dr. Bane.” Alec’s hands wandered to Magnus’ hips. “But you can’t deny you like it when I tell you what to do.”

“Only after I’ve had coffee.”

Magnus kept his movements slow, and deliberately so, if Alec had to guess. Because Magnus knew him better than he knew himself, knew how to make his head spin and his breath catch in his chest, electrify every inch of his skin with just a touch and how to throw all of his senses into overdrive.

He gripped Magnus’ hips tighter, fighting off the urge to coax Magnus to give him just a little more, and arched his neck, pressing his head back into his pillow as he whined, “Fuck, Magnus. You’re killing me.”

“Patience, my love.”

Alec huffed out a long breath and licked his lips, surrendering to Magnus completely as he set a leisurely rhythm, hands wandering over every inch of Magnus he could reach, exploring a destination he knew by heart because it was one he would forever return to.

The beating of Alec’s heart quickened as Magnus’ hips did, eyes clamping shut as a groan escaped his lips, and when he opened his eyes he found Magnus with his head thrown back in ecstasy, the morning sun glowing against Magnus’ skin as though it were radiating directly out of him.

The God of the Sun in his human form.

Alec stuttered an overwhelmed breath as his eyes drank in every inch of Magus’ bare, sun-kissed skin and fuck, he was beautiful.

“Oh God, Magnus…. So close….” Alec moaned.

Magnus nodded in answer, words diminished to moans, and took his own cock into his hand. Alec drew his hands along Magnus’ wrists, taking both of Magnus’ hands into his, palm to palm, fingers locking together.

“Alec….” Magnus groaned as deep brown eyes locked onto golden hazel.

“In my mouth,” Alec rasped.

“Fuck, Alec.”

They moved together, completely in sync with each other, both giving into the finely tuned push and pull of rolling hips and clasped hands as they tumbled together toward the edges of bliss.

“Oh fuck!” Alec cried out, clutching Magnus’ hands tighter as he fell over the edge first, back arching off the bed as his climax tore through him.

Alec inhaled deeply as he came down from his high, and in one swift motion had Magnus on his back. Settling between Magnus’ thighs, Alec wasted no time in taking Magnus’ full length into his mouth, flesh swollen and throbbing against his tongue as he licked and sucked, dragging Magnus closer to his own release. Magnus’ moan filled the room as Alec cupped his balls, and fingers tugged at his hair as Magnus spilled into Alec’s eager mouth.

Only after feeling Magnus ease beneath him did Alec let Magnus’ cock slip from his lips. He kissed up Magnus’ torso, worshiping every inch of skin as he went, and smiled lazily as he settled his weight fully on Magnus.

Magnus brushed Alec’s messy hair off his forehead. “Good morning, indeed.”

“Who needs coffee with that kind of wakeup call?” Alec teased, nuzzling a kiss against Magnus’ neck.

“Mm, true. But now to decide what’s for breakfast.”

“Oh, we're going out for breakfast. But first….” Alec grinned devilishly, climbing off the bed and pulling Magnus with him. “I think we need a shower.”

** 

Mia babbled happily over the radio, laughing from deep in her belly. Magnus tore his focus from the changing scenery as they battled through pre-Labor Day traffic out of the city and glanced in the rear view to see Isabelle engaged in a highly entertaining game of peek-a-boo with Mia.

The sound of Mia’s laughter made Magnus chuckle softly and close his eyes, hoping in vain he could permanently embed the sound in his memory to rewind and play on repeat. The year with her had passed so swiftly Magnus wished he had a pause button to slow it all down. Now almost fourteen months old, Mia was still growing much too fast. He and Alec had thus far survived her teething, “Mow” had been her first word as Chairman sat beside her on the floor while she played with her blocks not long after her first birthday, and Magnus sensed her first unassisted steps were minutes, hours, or days away.

It had been a year of watching this gift of a baby girl learn and grow and take in the world around her. And thus far, by the grace of some divine power, Magnus had witnessed it all.

The road to standing in the courtroom as Lydia recommended to the presiding judge there should be no barriers to their adoption of Mia had been long and winding; a path Magnus could have never guessed they’d travel when they first set out to start their family three years before. And as the judge had ordered the adoption to be final, there was nothing about the journey Magnus would have changed because Mia had been the light that came after the darkness.

Their own tiny rainbow after the rain.

They were fortunate; there were thousands of couples whose adoption journeys were more difficult and drawn out than his and Alec’s had been with Mia. There had been no obstacles, no objections, no attempted reunification of the child with the biological parent as often happened in the foster system. Magnus turned his gaze back to the world outside, running his thumb over his bottom lip as he reflected on how his journey had come full circle. The family he had always hoped for as a foster child had come to be through the adoption of his own foster daughter. Magnus’ jaw flexed as he pursed his lips, eyes growing misty as a familiar tightness filled his chest—the type of tightness that made him whole and his heart full.

The warmth of Alec’s hand in his pulled Magnus out of his thoughts and he folded his fingers through Alec’s, holding on tight.

“You okay?” Alec’s thumb grazed over the back of his hand.

“Yeah. Just thinking.” Magnus laughed lightly. Nervously. “And somewhat terrified we're going to wake up tomorrow and none of this will be real.”

“We have signed and filed court documents proving this is very real, Magnus,” Isabelle assured him from the backseat, red lips drawn into a blinding smile in the rearview mirror.

“See? It's not a dream anymore.” Alec brought Magnus’ hand to his lips and kissed it.

Magnus turned his head as Alec lowered their clasped hands to rest on his thigh, thumb still rubbing gentle circles, and his chest swelled again with every ounce of love he had for Alec. Never in the hours Magnus had spent imagining what his family would one day look like had he imagined anyone like Alec. Never had he thought someone would learn of his heartbreaking past as a young boy in Indonesia, of being abandoned by his stepfather because he blamed Magnus for his mother’s untimely death and love him even more fiercely because of it rather than in spite of it.

But Alec had.

Alec did.

And never had Magnus imagined a child reaching for him for love, for comfort, for protection, or smiling brightly up at him when he came home at the end of the day or just simply entered the room.

But Mia did.

Magnus’ reality—his family—was far better than any dream he’d ever had. 

Alec pulled the rental car into the expansive driveway of Ragnor’s estate, parked, and turned the engine off. In the distance, Magnus could see their small group of family and friends gathered down on the beach, getting everything set up for the celebration.

Alec looked back at Isabelle. “You wanna go inside and change before we head down to see everyone?”

Isabelle was already unbuttoning the tan suit jacket she wore over a lavender sundress. “The great thing about this dress is that it’s beach ready.”

Magnus laughed, reaching back for Isabelle’s hand. “I wish I’d had as much forethought as you, my darling.”

Isabelle slid her hand into Magnus’ and laughed. “Magnus, you wore a suit to get married on this exact beach almost _exactly_ seven years ago. Kick your shoes off, lose the tie and jacket, roll up your sleeves and pant legs, and let it all go.”

Mia jubilantly babbled something that sounded like “all go” and scrunched her face up into a toothy grin. Her _monster smile_ as Magnus had taken to calling it. He looked back at Mia—baby blue sundress, sandy blonde curls, eyes that were brighter and more curious than ever, and full, round cheeks—and inhaled sharply as it finally hit him she was theirs. And they were hers.

“You want Papa to let it all go, Pumpkin?” Magnus smiled. Mia clapped her hands together in answer. Alec was already loosening his tie when Magnus looked back at him, gently chuckling.

Alec quirked his brow with a grin. “Mia has spoken.”

“And what Mia wants, Mia gets,” Isabelle chimed in.

“Within reason.” Alec laughed, unbuttoning his shirtsleeves and rolling them up his forearms. He grinned at Magnus. “Come on, Magnus. Lose the tie.”

Magnus worked his tie loose and smirked. “Ask nicely and I’ll lose more than that.”

“I’ll ask _very_ nicely later.” Alec worked the top buttons on his shirt open.

“Do you two ever stop?” Isabelle asked, kicking off her heels and reaching into her bag for a pair of white strappy sandals. But Magnus noticed that instead of exasperation in her voice, there was complete awe.

“The key to sustained marital bliss,” Magnus started, rolling up his shirtsleeves. “Is to never stop flirting with your husband.”

“And frequent date nights,” Alec added as he opened the door and ducked out of the car. He extracted Mia from the car seat and busied himself with getting her ready for her day at the beach. Magnus came around and repacked the diaper bag as Alec finished, triple checking they hadn’t forgotten anything.

“We packed the sunscreen, right?” Magnus asked.

“I know, you don’t like sunscreen at all,” Alec responded to Mia’s whines and held her tighter to keep her from squirming away.

 _That answers that_ , Magnus thought and deposited the tube of sunscreen back into the bag when Alec was done. He draped the strap over his shoulder as Alec hoisted Mia onto his hip.

Isabelle led the way down to the beach and Magnus stopped to take in everyone there: Clary, Jace, Isabelle, Simon, Luke, Catarina, Ragnor, Raphael, Will, Jem, Tessa, and Max.

Maryse and Robert.

It had been a slow venture toward rebuilding burned bridges for Alec and his parents, but Maryse and Robert had agreed to working everything out on Alec’s terms and at Alec’s pace. Only when Alec had been ready for them to meet Magnus several months into that particular journey had they met Maryse and Robert for a dinner that wasn’t as disastrous as Magnus had feared it might be.

Today would be the first time they would be meeting Mia.

Magnus couldn’t shake the hesitation that consumed him as he saw Maryse and Robert standing beside Isabelle and Max—a fear of the unknown, of what came next in this newfound relationship he hadn’t thought he’d ever have to navigate—but as it always did, the weight of Alec’s hand in his spread calm through Magnus and quieted the slew of anxious thoughts filling his headspace.

As Magnus and Alec grew closer to where everyone had gathered, heads turned toward them in anticipation, and Clary had her hands clasped beneath her chin, as though her tiny frame would burst if she were forced to wait one more second for them to announce the adoption was final.

“We would like everyone to officially meet Mia Lightwood-Bane,” Alec announced. A chorus of cheers erupted from everyone around them, and Mia clapped her hands along with them all. Isabelle and Clary brushed away joyful tears that fell down their faces, and Magnus found himself pulled into one hug after another, laughing when Simon came back in for a second.

“So, when are you going to adopt me?” Simon asked, broad grin spreading from ear to ear.

“Whenever Isabelle gives up her parental rights.” Magnus grinned. Simon looked back at Isabelle with a look of deep love on his face. It was a look Magnus knew well. He wore it often, and caught Alec wearing it even more frequently.

“I am kind of attached to Izzy.” Simon smiled.

“And she to you, Simon.” Magnus grinned. He clapped Simon on the shoulder as Simon wandered away and moved to Isabelle’s side, sliding his arm around her shoulders. Isabelle hugged her husband close and smiled contently. Magnus sensed that one day in the not so distant future, he and Alec would be sharing in their joy as they welcomed their own new addition to this ever-growing family.

Luke approached, rubbing his hands together before motioning toward the spread of deli sandwiches, chips, fruit, and pasta salad. “You know, the sooner we all eat, the sooner we can all have cake, and since this is a celebration the cake is the most important part of the event.”

Magnus cocked his head. “I don’t know, the cocktails always seem to draw my attention when celebrating.”

“They aren’t exactly traditional cocktails, but we have an array of adult beverages.” Luke gestured to a cooler situated near several beach chairs. 

“Good man.” Magnus grinned.

The mood was light, and the banter quick and sharp, breeze rolling in off the water as everyone sat and ate together. Mia entertained them all with adorable antics, at one point even donning her monster smile and shaking her entire body ‘no’ when Clary tried to coax her into giving Simon a hug.

Simon looked genuinely crestfallen as he uttered, “But you love me.”

Isabelle leaned into him as Alec grinned. “Don’t take it personally, Simon. She does love you.”

“But there are days she won’t even come to me,” Magnus admitted.

“Or me,” Alec agreed.

Simon gestured toward Raphael, who had gotten down with Mia and had started piling up sand into what Magnus guessed was meant to be a sandcastle. “But she’ll go to Raphael with no problem.”

“That’s because Raphael has thirty siblings and eighty-seven nieces and nephews. He’s practically still a child himself,” Magnus exaggerated.

 " _Vete a la chingada_ ,” Raphael muttered. Mia blissfully added a handful of sand to the pile they were building, none the wiser to Raphael’s utterance.

“I’m not going to dignify that with a response.” Magnus glared pointedly at Raphael before matching Raphael’s smirk. “But I do appreciate that you said it in a language she hasn’t started learning yet.”

“Don’t act like she’d know what I said even if she had,” Raphael countered and helped Mia start shaping the pile of sand into a tower.

Through the laughter that filled their space, Robert cleared his throat and looked between Alec and Magnus. “How did you settle on adoption over other options?”

 Magnus’ ribcage expanded slowly as he took a breath, transported back to a sleepless night in Indonesia just a few years before, staring blankly out the window of the villa he and Alec had rented for their stay. The broken shards of his past he had managed to keep locked away had resurfaced as they had inadvertently passed Magnus’ former foster home earlier in the day. He had known it was possible for those memories of his past to come flooding back, but he had never expected the hollow ache that had exploded in his chest. And then Alec had silently fit himself into the chair behind Magnus—though Magnus had no idea how he’d managed it—and Alec’s arms were around him, holding tight, making Magnus whole again. They didn’t need to say anything for Magnus to know Alec understood his brokenness, and they didn’t need words for Magnus to know Alec had already silently made a decision about how they would grow their family when that time came. There was simply a silent understanding that wove around them, punctuated by the soft touch of Alec’s lips against the back of Magnus’ neck.

And just as it had that night, the same silent understanding passed between them as they looked at each other now. 

Alec cleared his throat and shrugged. “There’s just too many kids that need someone to love them. We really didn’t need to consider other options.”

“And are you opposed to adopting older children?” Maryse asked.

“No,” Magnus answered. “I think in some ways we’d prefer to adopt older children. They’re the ones who too often get forgotten.”

“Everything with Mia was just sort of a perfect storm of events,” Alec added, reaching forward to keep Mia from putting a handful of sand into her mouth. Mia’s face immediately scrunched up, tears streaming down her cheeks with each of her sobs.

“Come here, _princesita_.” Isabelle scooped Mia up into her arms and hugged her close. Mia’s cries subsided instantly.

“And when dad won’t let you have any fun, Uncle Max swoops in to save the day,” Max announced, a plate with cake balanced in his palm as he sat beside Isabelle.

“I’m not _always_ the mean dad,” Alec protested as Isabelle settled Mia in Max’s lap. Mia reached for the cake, chubby fingers sinking into the icing.

“Maybe, but I’m _always_ the favorite uncle.” Max winked at Alec.

Protests erupted around them as Luke, Jem, Will, and Raphael all tried to establish how they were, in fact, the favorite uncle, but Simon and Jace’s protests drowned them out and Magnus wasn’t entirely certain Simon and Jace weren’t trying to out-protest each other.

Ragnor merely sipped his drink as though he were bored with the entire argument.

By the time the bickering and shouting had subsided, Mia’s face was a mess of white frosting dotted with chocolate cake crumbs and brightly colored sprinkles.

“Rock, paper, scissors to see who cleans her up?” Magnus glanced at Alec.

Alec shook his head with an amused smile. “Nah, I got her. You cleaned her up after her birthday.”

Alec stood and held his hands out to take Mia from Max, picking a sprinkle out of Mia’s hair when he rested her over his hip. “How did you manage to get cake in your hair, baby girl?”

“Just hope she didn’t get it in her diaper again like she did on her birthday.” Magnus raised his drink, toasting to better fortune for Alec than he’d had a few weeks before. He still had no idea how Mia had managed to get cake in places he didn’t know cake could be found.

As the afternoon passed and the sun began to move closer to the horizon, Magnus found himself alone near the drink cooler, taking in the moment and the people he was surrounded by. Clary sat in a chair, red curls blowing in the wind and standing out against the orange of the sun, textbook open in her lap as she studied. Magnus remembered her physician’s assistant certification exams were growing near.

Jace and Will tossed a football back and forth to each other in the distance as Jem and Tessa jumped waves just off the shoreline. Ragnor and Raphael were going up against Luke and Cat in a game of corn hole and judging by the ultra-serious looks on Ragnor and Raphael’s faces, Magnus guessed Luke and Cat were winning.

Down by the water, Robert stood with Simon, Isabelle, and Alec. Alec held Mia’s hands tight in his own as she stood between his feet. With each wave that came ashore, Alec would hoist Mia upwards at the last minute, and Magnus could hear her laughter from where he stood; a reminder that the best things in life were the simple things.

Turning his head as he sensed someone at his side, he saw Maryse standing close to him. She held herself just as she had the night he’d met her at dinner, rigid and proud, but there was something that was softer about her, too. Maybe it was the way her dark hair was braided over her shoulder, or the long, casual blue dress she wore, or her bare feet in the sand. But perhaps it was the look on her face as she watched Alec in the distance, his own smile growing wider each time he lifted Mia away from the waves and made her laugh. Magnus couldn’t place it exactly, but he understood it. It was a look that he knew only a parent could have when seeing how happy their child was.

“This is a beautiful place,” Maryse stated, folding her hands in front of her.

“It is,” Magnus agreed. “This is where Alec and I got married, actually.”

Regret ghosted over Maryse’s features for just a moment before she inhaled and looked at him. “I imagine it was lovely.”

“It was. I’m sure there are photos around here somewhere on someone’s camera roll we can show you.” Magnus folded his arms across his midsection.

“I’d like that.” Silence settled between them for a moment before Maryse spoke again. “I couldn’t help but notice you’ve stayed away from the water.”

“Large bodies of water and I have never really gotten along,” Magnus said airily, brushing off the long-held fear he’d had since he was a boy. That was one moment of his life he had barely even unpacked for Alec, and he was certainly not going to elaborate on it for Maryse.

Quiet fell again as Magnus glanced at his mother-in-law out of the corner of his eye. She was contemplative, as though she knew what she wanted to say but didn’t know how to say it. If she was anything like Alec, though, Magnus knew she would eventually just put it out there, in all its black-and-white glory.

“I know you must have your thoughts about Robert and me, and I can’t say I blame you for that,” Maryse started. Magnus swallowed nervously, tentatively shifting his weight so he was standing a little taller, bracing himself against whatever came next. “And I can’t defend how we treated Alec.”

“Have you told him this?” Magnus asked cautiously.

The hint of a smile crossed Maryse’s lips. “In small ways, and not all at once. Robert and I want to make sure we do this right and don’t rush any of it. We owe Alec that much.”

Magnus nodded, still unsure where she was going with this train of thought but relaxed enough to see where it led.

Maryse continued, “We thought if we put Alec in all the right schools, and got involved in all the right social circles, we could give Alec every opportunity in the world. That nothing would be off limits to him. He could go anywhere and do anything he wanted. And he never protested. He went along the path we set him on because he has always put what everyone else wants ahead of what he wants for himself.”

Magnus just laughed. “That trait is often the source of most of our disagreements.”

Maryse nodded knowingly. “It took far too long for Robert and me to realize the path we had set him on was never the path he had wanted for himself. And when he came out, we had no idea how to react. It went against everything we knew, and everything we had been taught, and we weren’t prepared for it. Which doesn’t excuse it, nothing does.”

A heavy sigh fell from Maryse’s lips. “When he left after coming out that night, I wondered how I hadn’t seen it before, how I had been so blind to the fact the world Robert and I wanted for him was never the world he had wanted for himself.”

Magnus continued to look at her from his periphery for a moment before finally turning his head toward her. “Why are you telling me this?”

“Because what Alec wanted is this, Magnus. Just this.” Maryse looked at him. “You gave Alec the world.”

All of the air in his lungs rushed out in a long huff, and even if Magnus had been able to form a reply, he was too stunned to get the words out. Turning his glance away from Maryse, Magnus saw Alec moving toward them with Mia in his arms and the wind making his already messy hair even messier. The orange sunset behind them cast both his husband and his daughter in an angelic glow. Magnus wondered silently what he had done in his life to deserve either Alec or Mia, let alone both of them.

As he got closer, Alec shifted Mia in his arms so he could fly her like an airplane and flew her right into Magnus’ arms. Magnus’ smile was instant as Mia hugged him around the neck and Alec leaned in to kiss him on the temple.

Maryse had it wrong.

It had been Alec and Mia who had given the world to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You comments and feedback are always lovely and most certainly appreciated. You can leave comments here, on [twitter](https://twitter.com/magicandarchery), or drop me an ask on [tumblr](https://magicandarchery.tumblr.com)
> 
> Loved the story or the chapter, but not sure how to show your appreciation? You can [Buy Me a Coffee](https://ko-fi.com/A8529Y6).


	4. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the end, there are some fires that are meant to burn bright.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we are: the epilogue of a fic that has captured my heart and soul, and has made me grow so much as a writer. 
> 
> I want to thank Sam for sparking this idea in my head to begin with, and for believing I could, and would, finish it, as well as all of her comments, critique, and advice that helped me grow along the way. Love you, unbiological big sis. 
> 
> And a huge huge thank you to Jaimie for stepping in to beta at the last minute. I'm sorry for the tears I caused. Kind of. Love you, babe!
> 
> And finally, to you reading this: thank you for sticking with me through the very long gap between updates. I hope you have enjoyed going on this journey with Magnus, Alec, and I as much as I have enjoyed writing it for you.

_“Being genetically related doesn’t make you family._

_Love, support, trust, sacrifice, honesty, protection,_

_Acceptance, security, compromise, gratitude,_

_Respect, and loyalty is what makes you a f_ _amily.”_

_-Unknown_

 

**

 

Alec worked his way through the guests, attempting to make it to the bar to get another drink. Every time he thought he was getting close, another guest would stop him and comment on how wonderful his toast to Jace and Clary had been, and that he certainly knew them both well. He had lost count of the number of times he had smiled, huffed out an awkward chuckle, and shrugged as he said he had just spoken from his heart

And he had.

He hadn’t felt the need to prepare a formal speech, or make a list of bullet points he wanted to hit as he had wished his brother—his best friend—and Clary all the best for years to come. Clary and Jace had each pulled him into a tight hug as when he had finished, and before they were whisked out to the dance floor to have their first dance as husband and wife.

Finally reaching his destination, Alec ordered a beer, rolled his sleeves up his forearms, and loosened his gray tie before leaning against the bar top to take everything in. The Glade had beautifully captured Clary’s whimsical, free-spirited vision of what she wanted her wedding to be. The outdoor open space was subtle and elegant. Fairy lights glowed in the trees and greenery that surrounded them, and the only colors that stood out in Clary’s color design were the yellow, orange, red, blue, and purple hues she had hand-painted, perfectly blended, onto the hem of her wedding dress in tribute to her artistic nature.

That and Magnus’ red and black suit jacket.

Music filled the air as Clary and Jace’s first dance came to an end, guests moving from their tables onto the dance floor. Alec’s eyes instantly landed on Magnus and Mia as they danced, Mia holding onto Magnus’ finger as he spun her around. Her white flower girl dress flared out around her each time Magnus twirled her. The smile that took over Alec’s features couldn’t have been helped, even if he had wanted to hold it back.

Isabelle wandered up beside him as Alec took a drink, ordered a glass of rosé and smoothed out the front of her hunter green bridesmaid dress.

“Mia has been an angel today.” Isabelle smiled as Mia spun on one foot before taking hold of Magnus’ hands again.

“She got a little antsy during the ceremony.” Alec grinned. The ceremony hadn’t been terribly long, but Alec had recognized the restlessness in his nap-deprived, almost-four-year-old as the ceremony wore on. Quietly, Alec had pulled Mia close to him, standing with his fingertips resting on her shoulders as a reminder for her to keep still.

Isabelle’s eyebrows shot up suddenly and she set her drink on the bar top. “Oh! I have something to show you.”

Before Alec could respond, Isabelle had disappeared back among the guests. Alec tried to follow the path she took, but found his focus locked right back on Magnus and Mia. Madzie—who Catarina and Luke had become legal guardians of and were beginning the process of adopting—had joined in on their dance, and Alec’s smile grew as Magnus twirled Mia and Madzie at the same time. A few moments later, Isabelle was back at Alec’s side, phone in hand.

Isabelle tapped her screen a few times. “I wish you could have seen this moment in person.”

Taking his sister’s phone into his hand and turning it to make the video Isabelle had queued up larger, Alec let it play. Clary sat in the chair of the hotel suite she and her bridal party had gotten ready in, eyes closed as Magnus dusted a subtle gold shimmer over her eyelids. Mia leaned against Clary’s legs, her bright eyes radiating awe. As he continued watching, it dawned on Alec that Mia wasn’t entranced with Clary, but rather with the way Magnus applied Clary’s makeup to naturally accentuate the lines of her face.

“Me next, Papa?” Mia asked in the video as Magnus finished with Clary, with a hopefulness only a child could possess.

Magnus’ laughter was gentle as he knelt down to Mia’s level, holding his pinkie up to her. “Pinkie swear not to tell Daddy and let it be our secret?”

Alec scoffed as Mia hooked her pinkie around Magnus’ with a bright grin, then continued to watch as Magnus tapped a fluffy brush into a subtle pearlescent eyeshadow. Mia closed her eyes, standing still as a statue as Magnus washed the color over her eyelids, and Mia stayed just as immobile while Magnus swiped a gentle pink gloss over her lips.

It may have been the stillest Alec had ever seen her.

“Your turn, Papa.” Mia smiled, swaying this way and that, making her ivory dress swish around her legs.

“I already did my makeup, Pumpkin.”

“Not your lip gloss.”

Magnus’ face scrunched in feigned confusion as he pressed his lips together. Eyebrows shooting up in mock surprise, Magnus gasped. “You’re right! What color should I do?” Magnus grabbed up three tubes of gloss—sheer pink, clear, and a shimmery plum—and held them in his palm.

Mia tapped at her chin several times, clearly putting a great deal of thought into her choice, before picking the shimmery plum.

“Remember, it’s just like when you're coloring. You have to try and stay within the lines,” Magnus reminded Mia as he handed the applicator over to her. Mia was meticulous as she swiped the gloss over Magnus’ lips, pausing to make sure she kept it within the lines. Grinning triumphantly when she was finished, Mia giggled and handed the applicator back to Magnus.

“Daddy’s gonna think you’re sooooo pretty, Papa!”

Alec’s grin spread uncontrollably as the video ended with a sappily smiling Magnus pulling Mia in for a hug. Isabelle had been right. He wished he could have been part of that moment as it played out instead of seeing it secondhand, but he hugged Isabelle close and buried a light kiss into her dark hair for sharing it with him after the fact.

“Will you text me this?”

“Of course,” Isabelle smiled as she took her phone back and sipped at her glass of wine. “While we have a second to breathe, what does Mia want for her birthday?”

“She wants to go see the princesses at Disneyland, and she also wants a little brother.” Alec answered without hesitation, a laugh rising in his chest and threatening to burst forth. “She has no idea she is probably getting both because we’ve had Disney booked for months.”

Surprise had taken over Isabelle’s features as Alec glanced over at her. He smiled at her warmly, waiting for the surprise to subside and the question he could read in her eyes could be asked.

“You’re going to adopt again?” Isabelle finally asked.

“We might be,” Alec nodded. “Lydia reached out last week with a unique case that involved two boys.”

“So, they’re fosters? How old?”

Alec nodded in answer to the first half of Isabelle’s question. “Max is just a few weeks old. Since his mother surrendered him at the hospital under the state’s safe haven laws, Lydia thinks the situation will be similar to Mia’s, so the adoption should be fairly easy and straightforward. Rafael is just a little younger than Mia, and he could be more challenging to adopt because he was removed from an abusive home. But since they’ve been living in the same temporary home, Rafael has grown incredibly attached to Max, and Lydia doesn’t want to separate them if she doesn’t have to.”

Isabelle nodded. “When are you meeting?”

“Next week. I’ll send you the details tomorrow.”

“You’re ready to take on the infant stage again?”

Alec lowered his head as a gentle smile crossed the lines of his face. “Yeah. We are.”

The smile Isabelle flashed him was warm and happy as she lifted her hand up to Alec’s cheek for just a moment. Without another word, Isabelle turned and disappeared back into the sea of guests. Snatching his beer off the bar top, Alec followed after her, eyes once again seeking out and finding Magnus and Mia.

Magnus was now dancing with Maryse as Mia and Madzie spun in circles together nearby, both giggling just enough to be heard over the music each time their dresses flared out around them. Alec wondered how the flowers that had been woven into the waterfall braids of Mia’s hair were still in place after so much twirling and exaggerated movement, but rather than dwelling on the thought too long, Alec just chuckled at Mia’s carefree and joyful spirit spreading to everyone on the dance floor 

“How’s the little man?” Alec asked, coming up to the table Simon had settled at, his and Isabelle’s infant son, Levi, in his arms.

“Sleeping. How do babies sleep through something like this?” Simon looked up at Alec and Alec couldn’t help the laughter that escaped him. Simon looked absolutely mind blown.

“Babies will adapt to their surroundings easily, and when they’re tired they sleep.”

“You make it sound so simple.”

Alec clapped Simon on the shoulder. “Sometimes it is. Sometimes it isn’t. One day you’ll have the puzzle completely figured out, and the next you have no idea how to solve it.”

“Great.” Simon breathed, failing miserably at hiding the terror in his eyes.

As the evening wore on, Alec found himself still settled at Simon’s table, cradling Levi in his arms as he watched Simon dance first with Isabelle, and then with Clary once she and Jace were done making the rounds and talking to their guests. Max and Luke had found their way over to the table to join him as well, and Alec spotted Mia dancing with Catarina, but saw no sign of Magnus. There was laughter and chatter at the table, and none of them could refrain from making jokes about some of Jace’s old acquaintances who had come to be known simply as his “book club” friends.

“Hey, hey, hey. I’m a married man, now.” Jace laughed and gestured to the gold band on his left hand.

“If that was all it took to erase all of one’s misguided couplings, I’d have gotten married far sooner than I did.” Magnus slipped into the space beside Alec, a whiskey neat in one hand, the other settling comfortably on the small of Alec’s back. “Though I also would have been divorced by now, and likely would have never met Alexander.”

Alec’s face flushed as he leaned in to kiss Magnus on the temple, Luke’s comment about Jace taking full advantage of a woman’s love for a man in uniform almost getting lost in having Magnus close to him. 

“It's funny how things work out, isn’t it?” Alec whispered in Magnus’ ear. Magnus shivered against him. Alec couldn’t help but grin as he dropped a light kiss just below Magnus’ earlobe.

“Mia is spending the night with Luke, Cat, and Madzie tonight,” Magnus murmured casually before taking a sip of his drink.

“Whatever will I do having you all to myself?” Alec smirked.

Magnus turned his gaze to meet Alec’s. “You owe me at least a dance, Alexander. And then we’ll see.”

Alec slowly took all of Magnus in—the way his suit fit all of Alec’s favorite places just right, arms straining to burst out of the sleeves of his jacket, hair styled high, and makeup that didn't look to have smudged at all—and grinned. Even after almost ten years of marriage, Magnus still made Alec’s head spin and his heart race.

“Mia was right, you know? I do think you’re insanely gorgeous.”

“While flattery will get you everywhere, my darling, I can't believe you're hitting on me with, one, a baby in your arms, and two, to try and get out of dancing with me.”

“I would do no such thing.” Alec teased.

Magnus threw Alec a sideways glance. “Mmhmm.”

“Although, you did think it was sexy when I would come on to you while holding Mia. And you did the same with me. Remember Detroit?”

“How could I forget?” Magnus smiled, taking another sip.

“Daddy! Daddy! Daddy!” Mia was nearly breathless as she ran up to him.

How did a child that hadn't had a nap still have so much energy to spare, Alec wondered? He barely had enough time to pass Levi off to Max before scooping Mia up into his arms.

“There you are, Munchkin.” Alec smiled as he kissed Mia’s cheek.

“Daddy,” Mia breathed, “me and Papa have been dancing all night!” Her words were rushed as she waved her hand around to punctuate the statement.

“I know you have.” Alec nodded. “I’ve been watching you both.”

“Then why haven’t you danced with us?” Mia tilted her head to the side, brown eyes boring into Alec intensely. Had he not been holding her, Alec imagined Mia would have had one hip jutted out with hands resting on both.

Because, of course, Alec would have a daughter just as sassy as her Papa.

Alec quickly realized he was being tag-teamed by his husband and his daughter and shot a pointed glance at Magnus. Magnus, to his credit, had the grace to finish off his drink to cover the smirk that took hold of his features. As Mia’s arms locked around his neck, Alec turned his attention back to her.

“I’ve been taking care of Levi for Auntie Izzy and Uncle Simon so they can dance instead.”

Mia lowered her eyes as a frown darkened her face. “So, you don’t wanna dance with us?”

Sighing heavily, Alec adjusted Mia on his hip.

“Mia,” Alec tilted his head slightly to try and meet Mia’s eyes. He smiled gently at her when she looked at him again. “I’ll make you a deal, because I owe Papa a dance, too. Next slow song, I’ll dance with you both. Sound good?”

“Okay!” Mia’s bright smile returned in an instant and she planted a kiss on Alec's cheek.

Kissing her forehead before setting her down, Alec shook his head as he watched her run off, finding Madzie on the dance floor again. He caught Magnus looking at him and turned to him. Try as he might, Alec couldn’t stop a grin from forming.

“While your tactics were questionable, I must concede that round to you, Dr. Bane.”

Magnus simply laughed. “Can I get you a drink, Mr. Lightwood?”

“You absolutely could have, if Max hadn’t gotten me one a little bit ago.”

The backs of Magnus’ fingers brushed lightly against Alec’s cheek, and Alec couldn’t resist the urge to tilt his head into the touch as Magnus wandered away. Alec watched as he went, lost in each powerfully graceful stride that took Magnus away from him. Alec tore his gaze from his husband then turned back to the conversation with Jace, Max, and Luke. Simon and Isabelle rejoined them for a moment of rest, and Isabelle wasted no time in taking Levi from Max and cradling him close to her.

Slowly, the guests began dispersing and the lanterns that lit the dance floor began to flicker—all signs the night was coming to an end. It was confirmed a moment later as the final dance of the evening was announced, and, setting his empty drink on the table, Alec meandered toward the dance floor.

He never made promises he didn’t intend to keep.

Magnus and Mia were waiting for him, and Alec smiled at them both as he drew closer. Mia raised her arms, and Alec hoisted her onto his hip as the slow notes of the melody overtook the stillness of the night air. Drawing Magnus in by the waist and holding him close, Alec began swaying slowly—a rhythm that Magnus matched effortlessly. 

Alec leaned in to place a slow kiss to Magnus’ lips. A spark ignited in his chest as Magnus pulled him in tighter, and Alec was reminded of the spark that had electrified him the first time he had ever held Magnus’ hand in his for a simple handshake. Mia lowered her head onto Alec’s shoulder, and Alec felt the weight of sleepiness that had alluded her all day finally settling over her. He remembered another night when he had felt the new, strange-yet-familiar weight of her in his arms, felt another touch, another spark; this time as a brand-new baby girl curled her hand around his finger.

Two touches. Two sparks. One all-consuming fire, ignited within him.

It was the one fire Alec never intended to extinguish.

 

_-The End-_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> While this is the end of this particular arc, there will be some bonus one shots that will capture moments of Magnus, Alec, Mia, and the rest of their family that I'll post periodically. Don't ever think I could leave this world behind. I love it too much. 
> 
> Find me on Twitter and Tumblr under the handle magicandarchery.


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